10 Things

Happy Wednesday!

I want to write about something a little more interesting. I decided I was going to try to think of 10 things that not that many people know about me and share them with you guys. I definitely know I’m going to struggle to think of that many things. I’m not the greatest at inward speculation or whatever. (I should work on that.)

  1. I very much dislike shopping. Most people don’t even believe me when I tell them that, actually. Going to malls and walking around just is not a fun thing for me. If I need clothes, I prefer to order them online and I almost exclusively shop at Express. I know what sizes I wear there, their clothing is made well, and I love the styles.
  2. I love to learn. I’ve actually discussed with a few friends how I miss college purely because I miss constantly learning new things. That’s a big part of the reason I dove back into learning code–I like to make sure I’m always improving myself.
  3. I have a high pain tolerance. Weird thing to mention, I know, but it’s true. My physical therapist got onto me for waiting so long to seek treatment for my knee but I always just felt general discomfort, rarely intense pain. Apparently the “discomfort” I was feeling should have actually been registered as pain. Who knew?!
  4. The cold weather doesn’t bother me. It used to, then I realized I honestly don’t care much whether it’s warm or cold, all I care about is if the sun is shining. Of course, I generally prefer the heat, but it can be just as beautiful outside in 20 degrees as it can be in 90.
  5. Being organized is sort of like an obsession of mine, and I actually enjoy cleaning. My house, office, desk, closet, etc. are all insanely organized. I guess I like to take a minimalist approach to things. I clean and organize my closet quarterly and maintain a clean house at all times. (If I host people, my house is usually spotless again within 30 minutes of everyone leaving.)
  6. I wear a lot of black, but that’s no secret. What most people don’t know is why I wear so much black–I’m not really comfortable wearing colors. I just got comfortable dressing in as much black as possible and have fully embraced the fact that I typically come off as less friendly because of it. I don’t know why I am this way, but I’m trying to expand my closet’s color palette. (It’s a slow process.)
  7. Good lord, I love music. Half the time I choose listening to music over watching Netflix. I listen to so so much music and am always open to suggestions for songs to listen to. I may not like everything that’s recommended to me, but believe me when I say I definitely give them all a chance. Memorizing song lyrics is another thing I really like to do. It’s satisfying to me for some reason.
  8. I have a good and contagious laugh. My coworker and I will start laughing about something and shortly after, the entire rest of my team will be laughing just as hard, purely because our laughs are so amusing. (I never thought this until they told me. Regularly.)
  9. So another laugh related thing: I spit/drool out whatever I’m drinking at least once a day from laughing too hard. Just yesterday, I took a big sip of water right as my coworker said something inappropriate and ended up with water everywhere. It honestly happens without laughing too. I just tend to spill/spit/drool my drinks out of my mouth regularly. Don’t ask why or how, but if you can make me laugh hard enough, you might see it in action.
  10. Sunrise and sunset–the absolute best times of the day. I love watching a good sunrise/set and have an insane appreciation for them. I probably have at least 500 photos of the sun just doing it’s thing in my phone. In a perfect world, I’d have the time to watch each and every one every single day. They’re all just so stunning and unique.

Hope you enjoyed xx – A

Amateur Coder

Hey strangers!

I’ve been really really busy lately and have actually completely forgotten to blog. Work itself hasn’t been crazy, it’s actually been going pretty nicely lately. Good things have happened. ūüôā The thing that’s keeping me busy is my obsessive desire to learn new skills (and learn them well). As of right now, I’m diving deeper and deeper into the world of coding and trying to learn as much as possible about it.

I started learning CSS and HTML about 2 years ago back when I was in college. I took a Writing for the Web course that required me to learn those two languages through courses on Codecademy, after which I made this website as my final project. Obviously this site has come a very very long way since then as I’m constantly changing it, but that was what first sparked my interest in the language of computers.

Over the years I’ve added to and tweaked my site regularly, but that wasn’t enough. I wanted to learn more. A few months ago, I decided to go through the Codecademy courses on HTML and CSS again to refresh my knowledge on the subject. I only recently finished (It’s a lot of course material!) and am now in the process of transcribing my 150+ pages of notes on both languages. (I learn by writing, so I take very thorough notes.) Because of these refresher courses, I found that I desired the ability to control and edit my own personal site more than I was capable of doing before. Now that I have a much deeper understanding of HTML and CSS, I wanted to write my own code on my own website. In order to do this, I had to upgrade to a Premium plan with WordPress, which was an absolutely amazing decision. I was given freedom over my website’s CSS and was able to completely redesign and spice up my home page in ways that I never could before.

Senior photo of Anna
Check out my new home page!

Once I finish typing up my very excessive notes, I plan to take on the task of learning JavaScript next. I like the idea of getting good at these languages and being able to incorporate it into whatever jobs I look for in the future.
If anyone else has taken on learning coding on their own before, advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

xx – A

Self-Discovery…or whatever

So I was on Pinterest one day a few weeks ago and I found this list of “self-discovery journaling prompts”. I know journaling and blogging aren’t technically the same thing, but they’re not entirely different. I also know I told myself (and you guys) that I would be blogging at least once a week this year. I did pretty well up until last week. I just didn’t feel like I had anything to talk about and honestly forgot about the list I had saved.

Today, that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to start with one of the most simple prompts though because some of them can get really deep and I’m not in the mood to dive into that right now.

What does my ideal morning look like?

This one is something that I knew the answer to almost immediately, but I’m sure is also something that will change frequently as I continue life.
My favorite days of the week are Saturdays and Sundays (like most people). Saturdays are my favorite because of what has now become my morning routine.

On Saturdays, I like to sleep in. Not too late, though–just until 9 or 10. Sometimes I’ll wake up earlier and just lay in bed on my phone until 10 or so. I love a slow start to the morning since every morning before work, I have absolutely no free time and am very efficient with my time.

After I’ve spent some time laying in bed, I get up and hop in the shower. There’s just something so relaxing about starting a carefree day with a nice, hot shower. I like that I don’t need to turn the lights on in my bathroom because I have a really big window that lets in plenty of natural light. It’s nice.

After that I get dressed, do my makeup as simply as possible, then usually go for a walk. There’s a local farmer’s market that I like to go to every weekend and it’s one of my favorite places on Earth right now. It is such a nice place to spend the morning. I’ll grab a cup of coffee from a local vendor, maybe get a snack, and if the weather is nice, plop myself down and enjoy the sunshine. There are also plenty of dogs to admire.

So that’s it. It’s fairly simple but that is absolutely my ideal morning. ūüôā

xx – A

Life is Busy, Man

Last y’all heard, I was in D.C. freezing my buns off and sightseeing. (I didn’t really freeze my buns off, don’t worry.) Things got really busy and I didn’t get another chance to blog. Oh well though, I’ve since uploaded some pictures I took in my photography section of my page, so check those out please! I really like them. ūüôā There’s a section for the Women’s March and a section for black and white detail shots I took. The details of architecture are honestly my favorite things to shoot.

Anyways, yeah D.C. was absolutely amazing except for the day it was like 12 degrees. That was rough. I’m totally fine with and in high 20s or 30 degree weather, but 12 was a bit much for me. My plans to really explore Alexandria were kind of put off by the weather, but I was okay with it. I was really tired by then and kind of ready to get back home.

Coming home wasn’t the relaxing relief that I hoped for though. Work has been absolutely chaotic–more so than ever before. Things will start to slow down again soon, but in the meantime, I barely have time to do anything non-work related. (Such a shame, I know!) Fridays are usually slow enough so that I can try to get caught up though, so that’s what I’m doing here.

Today, I started looking at my map of places I’ve been so I could add D.C.. Of course that made me want to take yet another vacation. I just can’t quit, I wanna go everywhere. I think next I’ll go somewhere tropical. I need a beach getaway.

Blog update though: I found a really cool article with “self-discovery journaling tips” so I’m going to start using some of those prompts for my blogs instead. Don’t know if they’ll be any good but OH WELL. I’m not one to make sure people like what I do anyways. ūüôā (There are some really cool prompts though–I want to do one this weekend.)

Stay tuned for those and more¬†D.C. pictures coming very soon. My last group that I’m going to drop is different from the rest. I made sure to keep a consistent theme in each photoset and none are alike. I’m trying to push myself out of my comfort zone, creatively.

That’s all for now.

xx – A

Self-Care Thoughts

So, it’s a Friday night and instead of doing what a normal person does on the weekend (socialize), I decided to do the complete opposite. I came home, ate chips, watched Netflix, and¬†loved it.¬†I’ve been off my phone and social media for the most part and just spent some time alone. It’s totally okay to be antisocial for a little bit. (Also, social media is pretty toxic, we all know this….doesn’t mean we don’t still love it though.)

Anyways, after doing that for a while I realized I hadn’t blogged yet this week and I told myself I would get out at least one a week. I mean, I have spent countless hours working on this website, the least I could do is make sure it stays active.

I have a list of things I want to blog about and initially, I wanted to tackle a rather intense one tonight, but I have completely lucked out. I found a new topic instead: self care. Lucky me! I get to avoid delving into the really intense stuff that I’ve been meaning to talk about. Oh well!

Anyways, my solo hang session tonight has reminded me that just listening to yourself is much more important than we acknowledge. I could have gone and hung out with some of my favorite people, but honestly sitting on my couch and watching a new Netflix show just sounded more appealing tonight. It’s nothing against them, I guess I just needed some time to relax. This week has been insanely chaotic at work so my mind just needed some unwinding time. (Don’t get me wrong, I¬†love¬†being busy at work, but it does tire me out a bit more.)

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Out of all of my friends, I actually might be the biggest advocate for self-care. If I’m wanting some down time, I can be relied on to bail on plans in favor of doing absolutely nothing. I hate that I flake sometimes but being selfish with my time is something I’m working on this year so,¬†oh well.

Not to toot my own horn, but I think everyone should take a page out of my book a bit more frequently. Relaxing is good for you–mind, body and soul. I always feel so much better once I’ve spent some time regrouping.

Self-Care Ideas:

  • img_9235Take a hot bath. Don’t be afraid to use that bath bomb you’ve been saving for a “special occasion.”¬†Now¬†is a special occasion. Treat yo’ self. (Throw on a face mask as well if you’re feelin’ bold.)
  • Read a book. (Or part of a book!) Read a blog. (Like mine?) Read something that just distracts you a little bit! Poetry is a good one too.
  • Binge a show on Netflix! I know this might not seem like “self care” but it’s a great way to distract your mind. If your mind has been running non-stop, distractions are a great relief!
  • Cook something–anything! Having to focus on what you’re doing and what your next step will be is pretty immersive. Plus, having a tasty treat at the end is a great bonus!
  • Go for a walk with some headphones and your favorite music. Exercise + music = relaxing AF.
  • Clean or organize! To be fair, this might be a “just me” thing because I feel insanely content when I’m cleaning or organizing. It’s a weird thing of mine. Just a few weeks ago I accidentally spent almost 3 hours organizing my beauty products. It was great.
  • Watch the sunset. It’s simple and it’ll do the trick.56695575803__74e8fca5-f50f-463a-a061-7b85f0518eed

So yeah, there’s a few ideas just to get you started. Taking care of number one (you) is one of the most important things you can do in life. After all, you’re the only one that is going to be there for you for the rest of forever.

Enjoy!

xx – A

2019 Resolutions

img_9178I am fully aware of the fact that 2019 is well under-way and it’s a bit late to be doing a 2019 Resolution blog, but oh well. (Or am I still in the correct timeframe? I don’t know!) Regardless, I had been wanting to do a blog about my resolutions for the new year for a long time and I even had notes about what to write in a note on my phone. I’m so prepared, I know!

Typically, I’ve never been one to wait until the new year to start a resolution. I always thought of it kind of as an excuse to procrastinate doing something that you should start doing as soon as possible (like working out, for example). I still feel that way for the most part, but there’s a sense of finality when you say you’re going to “leave something in 2018” and I am starting to appreciate that phrase a bit more. Looking back on my life, I can ultimately decide what years for me were better than others, and this past year definitely had it’s high points, but as a whole, I hated it. It was a year for growth and sometimes growth is insanely painful and hard. At least it definitely was for me.

I decided to make 2019 a beautiful year in every sense of the word. I want to do my best to make myself happy and in order to do that, I need to bring a few healthy habits or routines through the year with me.

My first goal for myself is to stop comparing myself to people. I don’t talk about how frequently I do this because I’ve really only noticed recently. The worst part, it’s not physical features that I compare as much, it’s personality characteristics–my success, my income, my motivation, things like that. Rather than admire someone else’s success, I find myself putting myself down because I might not have had that level of success. This is a really bad habit to be in, and I genuinely just need to learn to appreciate myself and my accomplishments without comparing every little thing to other people. (I hope that makes sense.)

My next goal for 2019 is fairly simple, actually and it encompasses most other resolutions I could have typed out here. It’s to leave toxic people in 2019. If there is someone that is bringing negativity into my life, I just need to back away. Maybe they’ll realize what they’re doing, maybe they won’t. To add to that, I want to stop giving so much of my time and effort to people who do not deserve it. I’ve realized that I put in way more effort into relationships than I receive and it’s not fair to me.

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Also, I’m going to try to spend less time on social media. It’s toxic, we all know this.

I struggled a lot this past year, and I really just want to be as happy as possible in the future. Lately my life has been pretty happy and I love that so much. I want to maintain that low-stress streak. Who wouldn’t?

Since there was actually a “start date” for these goals, it almost seems easier to embrace them 100%. It’s time to really take care of myself.

xx – A

LOL Someone Sees Through Me (Oh No!!!)

Y’all I didn’t think I was cool enough to have trolls on my internet things, but I guess I am!! How exciting! I checked my blog today and was¬†delighted¬†to find that someone had left me a quite lengthy comment about their, rather low, opinion of me. Not that I care what they have to say, but I’ve gotten a few comments similar to this one on various social media platforms over the last few weeks and it’s honestly just annoying. So here’s the comment, but fair warning, this individual clearly has some personal issues they need to work out. I See Through You

I just wanna take a minute to defend myself because I’m not one for sitting back and letting people throw punches at me. ūüôā

  1. My blog is whatever the hell I want it to be. If someone thinks it’s “self-righteous” then they don’t need to read it. This is my website and my blog that are mine to use how I please.
  2. I pay my fair share of rent at my house. Also, the house itself hasn’t helped with my depression, being significantly closer to my friends has. I see people I love almost every day and that has saved me from the darkest months of my life.
  3. I do create art.
  4. I can take shots of whatever I want. If I wanna take a pic that shows my butt off, I am allowed to do just that.
  5. No one at iHeart is obsessed with me. In fact, I’m not even sure where one would get that assumption. I wear my noise cancelling headphones all day and avoid talking to other people.
  6. THERE IS NO SILICON ANYWHERE IN MY BODY. But thanks for the compliment, I think I have nice boobs also.
  7. I’m pretty without makeup, too. ūüėČ

Why do people think it’s okay to judge people they don’t know? I know this is a blog, but believe it or not, there are a lot of things I don’t actually talk about on here.

My 2019 wish for anyone out there with negativity to spread: don’t judge people you don’t know. Try to give others the benefit of the doubt because more than likely, they have been through more than you could ever know. It’s taken me a very long time to get my mental health to the place it is today. I’m proud of that progress. I don’t appreciate people coming in shooting shots at me for no reason other than to try to make themselves feel better.

Sidenote: I also have Humble stuck in my head thanks to that oh-so-insightful comment.

Happy New Year, fam! Don’t be mean to people.

xx – A

My Professional Future

Two blogs??? In two days??? Crazy, I know. I’m just feeling chatty and this is my favorite way to get some things off my mind.img_8704

Lately, I’ve found myself contemplating my options regarding what to do in the future, professionally. I graduated about a year ago with my degree in Communication, but I still don’t really know where to go with it. Of course, I’m still with iHeartMedia, but the job I have now is only a stepping stone. I need to sort out where I want to go next and what I want to do.

Since I’m a relatively logical person, my first step in this inquisition was to do a bit of Googling. Turns out, that helps a lot. 

“What kind of jobs can I get with a communication degree?”

  • Meeting/event planner
  • Social media manager
  • Business reporter
  • Brand manager
  • Sales representative
  • Web producer
  • Marketing coordinator
  • Advertising executive

Those are just some of the things I discovered, but oh my god! Having a general idea of the places I can go with my degree is more helpful than I could have imagined. 

You see, I’m a planner. I like to know where I’m going and how I’m going to get there months in advance. This allows me to make sure I am 100% prepared for whatever I want to do. If I want to go into a job with social media management, I need to make sure to build and fine-tune my skill set before I actually try for jobs doing that. 

Even though Google helped me get a bit of an idea regarding what I can do, I still haven’t got the slightest idea what I actually want to do. I had never considered this before, but the concept of being an event planner sounds oddly enticing. I’m a very organized and meticulous person so I think I would be greatly suited to such a job. 

Who knows, though? I could end up doing practically anything, but I do want to make sure that it leads me in the right direction. 

“The steps you take don’t need to be big, the just need to take you in the right direction.” -A.O.S.

I guess I’ve just been confused lately and if anyone happens to read this blog that’s also feeling confused, they should know it’s perfectly normal. You just have to constantly work towards making yourself the best you can be, is all. 

Anyways, that’s all I have for now. 

xx – A 

P.S. Check out page 2 of this blog for a bit of added insight on my job researching.

General Life Stuff

I’ve been a really bad blogger lately. I’m not sure what to say, really. Life has gotten busier and I’ve found that I don’t need to vent to the online universe or talk about whatever nearly as frequently. For the sake of trying to get back into some sort of routine to keep my website alive, I am back. Since I haven’t been updating you guys on anything lately, I think I’ll just start with that. Hopefully it’s interesting enough to follow along–quite a lot of interesting things have happened since I last blogged!

The biggest life change that’s happened since September is my new living status. I co-bought a house with my mom and moved out of my tiny little apartment. The house is an absolutely stunning, 4-story townhome in Alamo Heights. Before moving, I really struggled with depression and anxiety, but oddly enough, things have improved dramatically since my move. I now live a short walk away from my closest friends and that alone makes me so much happier. Also, not living in a cave-like apartment is very beneficial. The house is stunning and I absolutely love it with my whole heart.

I know I talked for a while about how I wanted to move to Florida after a while, but those plans have since changed. Or, more accurately, they’ve re-adjusted. My best friend (who will be making the move with me) has since gotten me to consider a different destination–Colorado. At first, I honestly wasn’t too keen for the idea, but I’m growing to like the idea more and more every day. A change of scenery would honestly be awesome. I mean, why move to Florida to get more beaches–something I’ve had an abundance of for 20+ years. Why not just change it up completely? So as of now, that’s the plan. (And yes, I have been saving up and preparing.)

Last but not least, you already know I have my obsession with traveling. Of course I would have my next vacation all planned out. I’m going to be visiting my friend in D.C. in less than a month. I haven’t been to D.C. since I was really young, so I’m excited to get to see everything while I’m old enough to understand. I’m going in mid-January so I’m sure it’ll be nice and cold and snowy and I am beyond excited.

Anyways, yeah. That’s what’s happening in my life. Not my best blog, I’m sure, but a blog nonetheless.

xx – A

Two Steps Forward….

img_6960So you know what they say? Two steps forward, one step back? I long-jumped backwards. In my defense though, I had been running at a full sprint forwards for a while so I guess it caught up to me a bit. Performing as perfectly as possible forever isn’t realistic, I guess.

I’ve been having a hard time lately, and when I’m having a hard time, I’ve found my best way to deal with it is to blog. So i’m back. I took like a month long hiatus from blogging because i was distracted, but no more!

I’ve been lacking motivation and desire to workout and blog and do all of those things lately. I’ve still been making myself workout pretty regularly, but it’s just not fun for me right now. I need to work on getting back into a healthier mindset, but it’s not easy. It feels freaking impossible. I really need to work on keeping toxicity out of my life instead of letting it poison me from the inside out.

My priorities shifted away from the desire to excel and that really upsets me. Like i was blogging once a week, and now? It‚Äôs been so long! I‚Äôm not even nearly as motivated as I had previously been to bang out my freelance blogs (although i‚Äôm obviously still writing them regularly). I’m thinking it’s time for a mental reboot, but I’m not really sure how to do that other than start doing the things I need to do again. Blogging, working out, spending time with friends and family, saving money, working hard. Working hard makes me happy and I need to make sure to always do what makes me happy.

I decided I’m going to implement some new short-term goals for myself to help get back on track. ūüôā I figured that typing them out and sharing them with the world would help hold me accountable. (Feel free to call me out if you notice me slacking.) I’m writing out 5 goals for myself for the next few weeks that will hopefully get me back to where I need and want to be.

  1. Fall in love with working out again. Embrace the endorphins that come with working out, and use your beautiful workout group to find your way back to the healthy relationship you had with working out.
  2. Stop spending so freely. You’ve stopped so heavily focusing on your goal of moving to Florida and if you want that to happen, you need to continue to be smart with your spending habits.
  3. Get back into regular blogging, both freelance and personal. It’s a therapeutic habit and when you start slacking on that, you start losing focus.
  4. Learn to not be so hard on yourself. You’re your own biggest critic, and honestly, you need to learn how to chill out sometimes when it comes to beating yourself up when you muck up.
  5. Practice good self care. ūüôā Eat healthier, take care of yourself, do facemasks, paint your nails, etc. Do it all and do it with love!

Hopefully this blog wasn’t too dull or whatever for you to read. Sometimes I write for other people and sometimes I do it for myself. Today is a day for the latter.

Hope everyone has a great rest of their week.

xx – A

P.S. In the last few weeks, vacationed in Destin, Florida with my friends, turned 23, went home, spent the day at Six Flags, tubed the river, visited with a friend from Belgium, spent loads of time with friends (doing all of those activities), and made some amazing memories. Just a little update. ūüôā

Honestly What is Motivation?

Okay, anyone that works out regularly can tell you this: relying on motivation is not real. Being motivated to work out¬†every single day¬†is a complete myth. Go find your favorite fitness Instagram account…go ahead….I’ll wait. Got it? Okay, let me tell ya something–they’re not always motivated. Hell, they’re probably not even motivated half the time.

If you want to be in a routine exercising routine, you¬†cannot¬†rely on being motivated to go work out every single time. It won’t happen.

So, how do you consistantly work out then? Well, I’ve got a few tips and tricks I can share with you. ūüôā

Let’s compare working out to something mandatory that you do, like say, taking a shower. If everyone waited until they had the¬†motivation to shower every time they needed to shower, we would all smell a lot worse. Showering is just something you do every day. Same with brushing your teeth and eating dinner–you just do it. Now, apply that same mentality to working out. Make it just a part of your daily routine. It’s definitely easier said than done, but trust me, once you’re in the routine of doing it and it becomes a solid part of your day, you will love yourself for it.

Another trick is to make sure you¬†do¬†take rest days and you¬†don’t¬†push yourself too hard. You can’t do a killer workout every single day of the week, your body will not handle it well. I shoot to workout about 5 days of the week, and I usually do something relative active the other two days. This gives my body time to rest and recoup after my more vigorous workouts. I tried working out every single day for a while, and I noticed that the intensity of my workouts started going down. My body was not able to perform at the level I was used to, and although that was discouraging, I realized that in order to improve, I needed to rest. My body needed rest. I’ve since come to a place where I have a very good balance of exercise and rest. I see improvements in myself more when I have a healthier routine. (Unsurprising, right?)

Now, I’m not some insane fitness nut, there are¬†plenty¬†of days where I come home from work, lay in bed, and a massive wave of exhaustion hits me. This insane urge to nap just¬†swallows¬†me. I know if I just avoided laying on my bed, it probably wouldn’t happen, but after a long day of work, sometimes I just need it. So, I allow myself to veg out for a bit. I get home at around 5:20, so I’ll tell myself “you can lay here until 6:00, then you get up and work out.” Weirdly enough, it works. If I give myself time to just completely zone out and be on my phone, take a quick nap, or do whatever, then I find it easier to get up and smash out a workout afterwards. You’ve got to give your mind time to rest. Mind and body go hand in hand, so if one is exhausted, the other will reflect.

So yeah, motivation is crap. Don’t rely on it for anything. It’s a scam! Prioritise working out and in time, you’ll get into a routine. That’s when you’ll start feeling the results as much as seeing them. You’ll notice “wow, the last time I did this workout, it was way harder.” Because if you’re working out regularly, you’ll be able to notice changes much easier.

My fitness journey has had its ups and downs, but I’m learning¬†so much¬†along the way. Hopefully you’ve found some help in this blog, because I truly enjoyed writing it.

xx – A

P.S. My next blog will be about my take on healthy and balanced eating, so stay tuned xx

Enjoy this vid of me ~ dying ~ doing burpees. (Sorry there’s no sound, I didn’t want everyone to listen to me wheezing.)

Fun, Fitness, Friday!

Wow, it seems like lately Fridays have been the only days I have time to blog. That’s kind of a bummer since I was posting two a week for a while. The lack of blogs is a result of me taking on more responsibilities though–I wanted to keep myself busier. (It’s working…I’m slammed.)

So today feels like a great day to do a fitness blog since I haven’t done one in a while, but I want to do a little life update. Quite a few things have transpired over the past week, and I’m quite excited about the weeks to come!
Two weeks from today, myself and a few of my closest friends will be taking off on a ROAD TRIP! We’re going to Destin, Florida for a few days to celebrate my birthday and the Fourth of July, and I could not be more excited. I’m already trying to buy more bikinis so I’m fully prepared, LOL. If anyone has been to Destin before and has recommendations of activities to do or sights to see,¬†let me know!¬†I’m going to be spending the next few days doing some research to hopefully get some solid plans locked down ASAP. (Gotta utilize the free time I have at work while I can, amiright?)
Another update, the volleyball team¬† I talked about in my last blog is¬†officially locked and loaded.¬†And yes, our team name is the Clever Beaches. It won the vote!! (I also pushed for it, whoops!) So we’re going to have two more practices for the coming two Tuesdays and our first game in on July 10! I’m hoping to kick some booty and have some fun. ūüôā It’ll be great. (I also think this is a pretty great resume booster.)
So that’s pretty much everything significant that happened over the last week.
On to fitness!

So if you weren’t aware or hadn’t read about it in any of my previous blogs, I joined a workout group called Keep It Cleaner, or KIC. This program has been¬†absolutely amazing, and I could not speak more highly of it. I’m not going to go into a big long explanation about it, so read the blog I wrote about it and come back here if you need to. (LOL.) It’s really a fun group and everyone is so supportive and empowering. (I figured it was time to update y’all on my progress now that it’s been going on for a while.)
I first started this program on April 16, so I’ve been doing it for about 2 months now, and holy crap, you guys. It’s been amazing. I do a KIC workout 4-5 times a week, and I’m usually pretty active the other days of the week. The workouts are fast and fun, and they really motivate you to push yourself.
Aside from my physical health being at such a great level right now, my mental health is probably the best it’s been in a long time. A¬†long¬†time. I’ve never felt more confident in myself mentally and physically. I do everything with so much more gusto than I ever have. I decide I want to do something, and I make it happen. I’ve taken more leadership roles, I’ve fostered new friendships, I’ve developed healthier eating habits just because.
And to think, I’ve only been doing this program for¬†two months.¬†I can’t even imagine where I’ll be in another two months! Like crap! I almost have a 6-pack already and I haven’t had one of those in¬†years, and I’ve always been fit.

I want to say that this program has been my saving grace, but I also have to give some credit to myself. This program didn’t do the work for me; it gave me the tools to succeed, but I did that myself. I held myself accountable and I have been holding myself accountable. I’m proud of how far I’ve come, and I can’t wait to see where I go from here. ūüôā

Also, I got an iPhone x, so my photos are officially going to be¬†so¬†much better. I’ve never loved a phone more than I have this one!!
(Thanks, momma for the early bday prezzie.)

Happy Friday!

xx – A

Friday!

Hey y’all! (Wow that sounds so Texan.)

It’s Friday…obviously! And I’m in a STELLAR mood. So, what better way to make use of this amazing mood than to blog amiright? I’ve been slacking lately because work has been¬†insanely¬†busy, but I love it. I love being busy and productive and making money. I usually try to do a “Things I Love Friday” but that’s not going to be the case this week. This week’s blog is going to be much less structured than that….whoops! I’m in too great of a mood to restrict myself with like a blog “formula.”

Anyways, back to my great mood. I want to take this mood and try to share it. (Does that even make sense?) I just want everyone to feel the amazing feelings I’m feeling today. I feel empowered, happy, at peace, and just all-around amazing. There’s a few reasons that led to this, but they’re not important.
If anyone is having a less-than-stellar day/week/month, whatever, I feel you! I’ve had bad days too. So flipping many of them. They suck. But you gotta work work work work work (like Beyonce) to get past them. So, it’s basically the weekend. This weekend, I want you to do something nice for yourself. No matter how busy you might be, spend a little time doing something for¬†you and only¬†you.¬†It’ll help ground you and make you feel better if you’re feeling overwhelmed or something.
Also, spend some time with the people you love, whether it be friends, family, or both. Put your phone down, be present. Get in that quality time. You won’t regret it. xx

Okay, topic change! (I know, whiplash much?) I want to talk about work now! As I mentioned previously, work has been super busy! One of my team members went out on maternity leave last Friday, so starting this week, the remaining 4 members of the team had to pick up a ton of extra work. You see, each of our 5 team members (myself included) has a portion of the United States that they’re responsible for. (I’ve got Texas, Florida, Louisiana, Oklahoma, and a few more states.) BUT, since my team member is out, the work I’m responsible for has definitely increased. It’s been a challenge, but I absolutely love challenges so like, bring it! This added workload on top of my new part-time blogging job has given me so much more workplace satisfaction. I love being busy!

Speaking of being busy, I’m getting together a league sand volleyball team. So I’ll be the team captain to “The Clever Beaches”! Okay so we haven’t actually all agreed on that team name yet. (The guys aren’t fans.) But I’ll be team cap and it’s going to make Tuesday nights super amazing. Plus my legs are going to get even more ripped because being the tallest girl on the team automatically means I’ll be front row spiking and blocking a lot. Another challenge…bring it!

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BUT Y’ALL. The biggest thing I’m loving this Friday (there’s that “Things I Love Friday”¬† reference) is that I have officially started saving for my next relocation. I have never planned on staying in San Antonio forever, and I think I’ve finally decided on my future home–FLORIDA! I’m still torn between a few cities, but I’m leaning towards the Tampa area. Also my best friend is interested in going with me, so that would actually be goals. I’d¬†finally¬†be out of Texas….a dream come true! I put away $500 into a savings account the other day, and I hope to have roughly $3k in savings by the end of the year. (Definitely achievable because I’m a frugal little child.) So yeah, that’s the plan.

So there ya have it….a very sloppy and unstructured “Things I Love Friday” blog. I hope I didn’t bore y’all too much. Hopefully I can get back into more regular blog posting with actual themes soon, but things have been chaotic.

Have an amazing Friday!

xx – A

 

Social Media Cleanse

Has anyone had the desire to delete their social media accounts and just kind of take a break from it all? I feel like we all have had that desire at some point, but the amount of people who actually act on it is a much smaller number. Well, I’m officially part of that number.

I¬†realized something a while ago–I have a social media addiction. It’s kind of a dependency, really. I rely on the validation I get when I post things, and I’ve realized how bad that is. I need to take a step back from social media as a whole. So, after a week of chewing on the idea, I decided to get started. I need to post on social media because it makes me happy, NOT because I want validation.

downloadThe first thing to go was going to be Twitter. “That’ll be the easiest,” I thought to myself.¬†So last Tuesday, I deleted my Twitter app. I didn’t delete my entire account because 1) my blogs are shared to Twitter and 2) my Instagram posts are shared to Twitter. I have enough willpower to keep myself off of it for a while. (I’m not trying to cut social media altogether, I just need to take a step back.) So far, not being on Twitter hasn’t been so bad. Boy, I wasn’t prepared for how difficult the next step would be though–Snapchat.

unnamedSnapchat was (and still is) my main social media issue. I always told myself I couldn’t delete it because “streaks”, but when I realized I had no streaks I cared about, deleting it became a possibility. I actually wanted to delete Snapchat before I considered deleting Twitter, but decided to start small. On Monday I started chewing on the idea of deleting Snapchat, but I didn’t take action on that thought until Friday evening. I figured if I was busy all weekend, the first few days might be a little easier.

I was wrong.

(Disclaimer: I didn’t delete the entire app because I don’t want to have to redownload the¬†thousands¬†of pictures I have saved on there again. I also wanted to have access to those pictures while not being on the app. I just turned off¬†all¬†notifications and turned off cellular data for the app. That’s been good enough for now.)

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Y’all, I can’t even tell you how many times I came THIS CLOSE¬†to reactivating it. Oh my god I came so close. I actually have a confession, I reactivated it¬†once on Saturday to see who had seen the “I’m getting off Snap” snap that I had posted. I didn’t open a single snap I had received over the course of 22 hours, nor did I watch a single story…but I still cheated a little. I feel a little guilty, but I’m not perfect!

Today marks 3 days without Snapchat, 6 days without Twitter, and honestly I’m feeling great. I would delete Facebook and Instagram, but my KIC workout group communicates via Facebook, and I need Instagram for self-promotion related aspects. The fact that I’m cutting back so much is a huge deal for me though. I’m pretty damn proud of myself for taking this step, too. Like shit, no one told me I needed to do this, I told myself! I decided¬†on¬†my¬†own that this was the healthiest decision I could make for myself right now. I’m glad I’m doing it, even though it’s not fun.

It’s flipping hard. Y’all, I shit you not, I had a dream on¬†Saturday night that I was using Snapchat. Like, who even does that?!¬†That is not normal.

I’m sort of dreading the upcoming week though. I’m worried that I’ll get bored at work and crave it. If that happens, I’ll probably write a blog that might not even get posted (because I have drafts on drafts that I never end up posting). As of now, I’m going to try to make it a whole week without getting on Snapchat, and I’m a little ashamed that that will be the longest I’ve gone without it since downloading it back in 2012/13. That’s flipping insane.

Y’all, I literally would just get bored and instead of doing something productive, I would check Snapchat. I’d check SnapMaps, chat it up with people, watch stories, read articles on there, go through old pics (and get bad nostalgia), and do whatever else you do on Snapchat. Don’t get me wrong, all that would be fine¬†in moderation, but ya girl don’t know how to moderate. I was checking Snap like¬†way. too. often. And I was oversharing. I felt like everything I did needed to be posted to Snap.
Going out? Snap it.
Cooking dinner? Snap it.
Pool day? Snap it.
Working out? Snap it.
Like dude (@me), chill. No one cares.
My problem had escalated over the past few months, so I decided it was time to actually do something about it.

Has anyone else done something like this? Not because they wanted to, but because they¬†needed¬†to? If so, let me know how it went! Did it help you? Did you go back to being just as addicted after allowing yourself to get back on? I’m curious! I want this to work out for the better for me. I want to¬†be¬†better.

xx – A

Keep up with me on Instagram!

Things I Love Friday

Second Edition. (Check out the First Edition here.)

I’ve actually been in a pretty glum mood all week, which is exactly why I think I need to write this blog. I should take a step back and focus on the little things that make me happy.


  1.  KIC workouts. (Read more here.)
    Sometimes, my life seems to spin completely out of my control, and the only way I’ve found to regain that control is via working out. The girls in the KIC group are¬†so supportive¬†and they motivate me so much. Aside from them, the killer workouts that I smash out are such a crucial way for me to relieve some stress, so I would probably be completely lost without them. The pic below is a few moments after extensive planking and I was on the verge of death. (I loved it though.)
    img_5963


  2. Cat birthday parties. (Yes, I’m serious.)
    On Wednesday, my friend hosted a “birthday party” for her cat…it was mostly people though. There was two cats. One was mine. There was like 8 girls drinking wine, eating cheese and crackers, and¬†watching two cats hiss at each other. (Our cats are not friends.) It was amazing. Girl’s night to the max. Hey, any reason is a good enough reason to throw a dinner party, right?
    Yes, we actually sang “Happy Birthday” to a cat, and yes it was as great as it seems.

  3. Home cooked meals. 
    I’ve done a lot of cooking this week…more than usual. Check out my first #ThingsILoveFriday to learn about how I get these awesome meals to cook–it’s the fifth topic on my bulleted list.
    On Monday night, I made Pesto Chicken Pizza. (It was amazing, in case you were wondering.) On Tuesday I made Creamy Piccata Chicken with baked brussel sprouts and carrots. It was tasty, but not amazing–not as satisfying of a meal.¬†Super¬†healthy, though. On Thursday night, I made BBQ Shrimp Pizza. Another amazing one. (That’s what I’m having for lunch today.) I wish I could eat it for forever.
    Sadly, I only have a picture of my first meal of the week, but oh man, it was amazing. img_5972


  4. Rain.
    I love the sunshine and I love the rain, but anything in between is not okay with me. (Black or white, essentially.) That’s why I’ve been gloomy this week–it’s been cloudy but¬†not raining¬†all week. It puts me in a mood. But today,¬†today¬†it is finally¬†raining and I love it. I am hoping that the sky gets all this water stuff out of its system today though so I can have a pool day tomorrow. #Sunshine
    Here’s a blurry pic of rain on a window. It’s not particularly pretty or anything, but rain! (I’ll try to update with a better pic later.)
    img_5973


  5. New ideas.
    Vague enough? LOL allow me to elaborate. ūüôā I realized I have free time at work after I finish my tasks for the day (which is why I blog during the day). I was¬†insanely¬†bored the other day, and I realized something–if I blog on my own blog a few times a week, why can’t I do the same for someone else? So now, during my free time, I’m looking for opportunities (paid or unpaid) to blog about anything under the sun for anyone who will let me. It’s nothing special, but it’s something to work toward and I like having goals. I like maintaining maximum levels of productivity, so if I can find opportunities doing things I love, that’d be flippin’ awesome!


Alright fam, I think that’s all I’ve got for today. I don’t have a ton of things, but I tried. That’s what counts right? I always need to find things that make me happy and hold on tight to them, and that’s essentially the purpose of these #ThingsILoveFriday posts. I hope you enjoyed the read. ūüôā

xx – A

Assumptions

You know what they say….when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me! (Bad joke? Oh well!)
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I was in the mood for a little blog, but my dilemma was that I really have nothing to write about right now. So, I did what any normal person would do in this situation–I googled. (I now have a nice long list of blog prompts written down for future moments when I’m motivated without inspiration.)
One prompt that kind of stuck with me (partly because it was highlighted on the page, partly because I liked the idea of it) was “Write about the assumptions people make about you.” (I linked to the inspo website I found.)

You would¬†assume that I don’t have many assumptions made about me. I am an upper-middle class, blonde, white female. Fairly standard, I agree. I don’t have obvious race related things assumed about me, and I am in no way trying to demean those assumptions, I just want to talk about the irritating assumptions I have noticed that people have made about me.

The first thing that came to my head when I think about assumptions made about me is “dumb blonde”. If you’re blonde, at least once in your life, someone has made a joke about you being a dumb blonde. I can’t be the only one who¬†hates¬†this. My hair color has no relation to my IQ. Never has, never will. I am smart, clever, quick-witted, and everything¬†opposite¬†of being a “dumb blonde.” Stop insulting people’s intelligence by basing your¬†assumptions¬†of them on their hair color. It’s stupid.
Another thing, you¬†can absolutely¬†be pretty AND smart. It’s a thing. Just because you care about your appearance and you put time into how you look, does not make you less intelligent. (It should make you look more intelligent honestly, because everyone knows appearances matter.) This kind of ties into the “blonde” thing, but it’s so true. Again, I’m sick of not being taken seriously based on how I look. It’s so frustrating.

Moons

Now, for the sake of not ranting throughout the entirety of this blog, I’m going to convert to¬†list form!!¬†(I could honestly write a 3,000 word blog about this topic, for real!)

Things people assume about me:
  • That, because I’m middle class, I don’t struggle with money/finances. Wrong.
  • That, because I’m thin, I don’t eat. Wrong.
  • That, because I’m thin, I don’t work out and am not strong. Wrong.
  • That I live this “perfect life” based on what’s seen on social media. Wrong.
  • That, because I care about how I look, I’m shallow (or something). Wrong.
  • That, because I have and express feelings, I am weak. Wrong.
  • That, because I’m a woman, I am not as good at something. Wrong.
  • That, because I sometimes show off my body, I’m a slut. Wrong.
  • That, because my hair is an odd color (i.e. pink), I don’t deserve as much respect. Wrong.
  • That, because I’m young, I’m na√Įve and easily manipulated.
  • That, because I’m blonde, I am ditzy. (Had to say it again.) Wrong.
  • That, because I dress and look nice, I’m weak and can’t handle myself. Wrong. If I tell you I know how to play a sport, don’t laugh and try to explain to me that “it hurts when you get hit”. I know. I’ve¬†played it.
  • That, because you’re a male, you know more than me. (See above.) Wrong.
  • That, because I’m being nice to you, I’m flirting. Wrong.
  • That, because you made assumptions, you think you know me. Wrong.

I’m sure some of you can relate to these assumptions being made about you, as well as¬†plenty¬†others that I’m sure have been made. It’s frustrating.

Hopefully this was even remotely interesting? LOL. Thanks for reading!

xx – A

 

 

Happy. Blissfully happy.

I realized something yesterday. Something amazing.

As I was finishing up my workout (courtesy of the KIC program), I started thinking about the rest of the things I had to do before I could go to bed–fold laundry, eat dinner, shower, paint my nails, tidy up, things like that. I got this warm feeling inside me, and I couldn’t quite place what it was until later. I was literally standing in the shower when it hit me:¬†now,¬†in this moment, is the happiest I have been in so long. Longer than I can remember. In that moment, I realized I am the least stressed, least dependant, most healthy, and¬†happiest¬†I have been in¬†years.¬†Not weeks. Not months.¬†Years.¬†I wish I was exaggerating about that too, but sadly, I am not.

This realization hit me like a freaking wall and it kind of shook me to my core. All of the things that used to stress me out regularly are no longer a part of my life, whether they were school-related, money-related, people-related, or whatever else. They’re no longer an issue. My life has gone from something I didn’t necessarily have full control over, to one that I am¬†so proud¬†to call totally and completely¬†mine.
Don’t get me wrong, I still stress over stuff all the time, but the things I stress about are things I can control. So I fix them. I work through all of the things stressing me out until the stress is gone. I still stress about money, but working full-time makes that stress manageable compared to when I was in college and having less than $100 in my account was standard. I support myself, I control my life, I do the things I want to do and avoid the things I don’t, I have an amazing routine, and I. Am. Happy.

For so long, I struggled with pretty bad depression and anxiety (I still do), but I am getting a handle on those things now. The depression has gone from something I dealt with daily to something that just pops up every now and then. But I know how to handle it now. I know what to do to right myself and move past it. Anxiety is something I feel I will always deal with, but I’ve reduced the number of things in my life that¬†cause¬†anxiety, so I have a good handle on that as well. Guys, I have an actual handle on my life now. It feels amazing. I have so many things going for me, I can’t help but feel blessed.

Honestly, I owe part of this emotional success to a workout routine. I maintained my own routine for about a month before I joined KIC, and things have only gone up since joining. The community I am a part of is SO INSPIRING. It feels so good and so empowering to be a part of it. Working out hard helps me to keep my stress levels at a manageable level, as well as release those fantastic happy endorphins that I love.

I am living my life for me. No one else. Right now, in this moment, I am the best version of myself I have been in a long time. I am so proud of how far I have come.

xx – A

P.S. I dyed my hair pink and I want it to stay forever. And¬†yes¬†I was snapping and driving, but I was stuck in traffic. So it’s okay. ūüôā

 

Things I Love Friday

So, I was scrolling around on WordPress’s discover page, looking through “fitness” tagged things, and I stumbled upon a blog post by Deborah Mary.¬†Her blog post inspired me to write about something similar. I’m in a weirdly good mood today (ok, it isn’t actually¬†that¬†weird, considering it¬†is Friday), so even though I blogged yesterday, I decided I wanted to do another one today. I think implementing a “Things I Love Friday” would be a fun addition to my regular (albeit inconsistently themed) blogging.
So here goes, let me tell ya about the things I’m lovin’ today. ūüôā

Things I’m¬†loving this¬†Friday:

  • Thursday dinner and happy hour with amazing people. (Of course we did Sake Bombs, I can’t even deny it, so here’s video evidence.)
    I had a kind of down day on Wednesday, so when my friend asked if I wanted to meet up for drinks after work I couldn’t say yes fast enough. There’s not many things that can cheer you up quite as good as some quality, stress-free time with your friends. ūüôā


  • Exercising!!! More specifically, squeezing in a great/killer workout before going out and meeting aforementioned friends for sushi and drinks.
    I’ve been running a lot more lately, and as I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, I’ve come to love the active life quite a lot! Yesterday’s workout consisted of a 3/4 mile run, followed by another 3/4 of a mile of intervals. 30 seconds of a stationary exercise (squats, lunges, etc.), 30 seconds of¬†fast¬†running, a 30 second walk, then repeat. I did that and by the time I was almost done, I was¬†dying.
    I felt great after my workout, and I had just enough time afterwards to rinse off, touch up my makeup, throw my hair in a bun, and head to dinner/drinks! It made for a great start to the rest of the evening!

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  • Family visits. ūüôā
    My mom, dad, and brother are all coming to visit me this weekend, and I am SO EXCITED. We have a whole day of activities planned tomorrow, and I can’t wait! They’re even bringing our dog, Reagan. (She’s a German Shepard, so obviously that is¬†great news!!)

  • Poetry books by Erin Hanson¬†are another favorite of mine right now as well. Her poetry follows a rhyming scheme, and I am obsessed with it. I also like that the poems are really long, because I have another poetry book that has primarily short poems, and it’s not as satisfying to read as this one. I’m reading a few poems each day (since they’re so long) and I have yet to finish the book, so that’s pretty awesome. This is her first book, but I have 2 more coming in this weekend. I’m very excited about them!

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  • Home Chef meals! My mom sponsors my newfound love for cooking through her provision of two great meals for me every Wednesday! They come in, I put the ingredients in the fridge, and cook both meals (2 servings each) within a week of getting them. Each recipe has a different “cook by” date, so I cook the one that will go bad sooner, first. (For example, this week I cooked my dish with shrimp first, since shrimp doesn’t last long.) It’s one of my favorite things ever, and I love having something to look forward to every Wednesday. ūüôā It’s absolutely fantastic, and I cannot even express to my mom how grateful for these meals I am. I’m learning a¬†lot¬†about cooking, as well as accumulating a nice assortment of different recipes I can cook again.
    If anyone’s interested in signing up, here’s their website. I highly recommend. The recipes are easy enough for a novice (which I am), and the food is fantastic. Below is a pic of some Ranch Chicken Quesadillas I made a few weeks ago, and OH MAN. THEY WERE AMAZING.

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  • The last thing I’m loving this Friday, is having a clean apartment. ūüôā
    Is that a weird thing to love? No, right? I try to do at least one thing a day to maintain the cleanliness of my (already very clean) apartment. I am a clean person–I put things away immediately when I’m done with it, I never leave dirty dishes in the sink, I don’t have clutter anywhere and am altogether very organized, BUT I still have to clean. By “clean” I mean vacuuming, sweeping, swiffering, wiping down surfaces, dusting, doing laundry, cleaning the litter box, etc.
    This week, I did all of those things (except dusting) in my free time after work. Last night alone, I folded laundry, swept, swiffered, and vacuumed. The night before, I cleaned the litter box and swept around it and put sheets in the washing machine. I also watered all of the many many plants on my balcony a couple times this week.
    Doing things like that to maintain the appearance and cleanliness of my apartment makes me really happy to come home every day. It also makes me proud of where I live. ūüôā

Anyways, there’s my first “Things I Love Friday.” Let me know your thoughts. I had fun with this blog, so I hope it’s even just slightly entertaining to read. (I might have rambled a bit too much at times, though.) ((Whoops.))

xx – A

Workin’ on my Fitness (& Stuff)

Lately things in my life seem like they’ve been extra insane. This week at work has¬†actually¬†been insane with my daily duties (lol) and the implementation of new tasks for my team and I. It’s been a lot to wrap my mind around,¬† and I’ve hardly had any time to write poetry down, much less blog. And I’ve been feeling particularly uninspired regarding what exactly to blog about. I told myself I’d start typing and see what happens..so here I am. Typing. Waiting.

Since my poetry time has been cut down by work’s business, my stress relief primarily comes from working out daily. I think I’m honestly getting addicted to working out. It’s the only thing that makes me feel like, good about myself at the end of the day. Every new years, I never really do the whole “resolution” thing, I always just tell myself to¬†improve myself¬†that year in some way, shape, or form. It’s been pretty successful so far in the few years since I started that particular strategy.

2015 – The first year I did it, I straightened my teeth, transferred to a different college that was better for me, and finally found a major that I love.
2016 – The second year, I made new friends who have accepted me into their friend group as one of their own (they’ve been friends since like, 7th grade) and finally had a very happy social life. Along with being more fulfilled in that aspect, I started playing tennis again VERY frequently and therefore, got into amazing shape.
2017 – The following year, I lived my life to its fullest in many different ways. I traveled more, had more experiences, did well in my classes, graduated, and spent a lot of time with friends.
2018¬†– This year, I’ve decided I need to focus on¬†me¬†more. I need to become more sound in body and mind. I stopped playing tennis about 6 months ago for reasons I don’t really want to discuss, but now, working out is my release. I’d like to be more comfortable on my own and I want to succeed in my personal endeavors.

This dependency (?) on working out kind of revealed itself to me yesterday. I didn’t really get a chance to do an actual workout, and at the end of the day, I felt really really sad. I was active, I just didn’t do an actual¬†workout workout. Y’know? I spent about 30 minutes doing very basic yoga and then trying to re-learn how to do a headstand (which made my back very sore, so that’s good).
I just am going to try to do more than what I did yesterday, every day. No matter what. No excuses.No complaints. I’m going to try to¬†push myself¬†harder than I ever have before. I need to. (And, I don’t have a reason not to, you know?)

But I don’t know, guys. I’m still not sure what this blog is about. I guess it’s about working out? My goal is to become the best version of myself that I can be. I’m going to get back into tennis, since that was always something I loved to do. I want to workout¬†at least¬†5 days a week, but ideally more (like 6-7). It makes me feel good mentally and physically, and obviously I like feeling good. Who freakin’ doesn’t?!

I’m sorry that you just read the ramblings of a crazy lady. I’m out of thoughts right now. ūüė¶ If anyone wants to hear about anything in particular, please just let me know. If not, I’ll continue doing what I’m doing, I guess. (But really, what¬†am¬†I doing?)

xx – A

P.S. I’m including some workout pics because why the hell not?

Freakin’ Poetry, Man

If a poem hasn’t ripped apart your soul: you haven’t experienced poetry.”
-Edgar Allen Poe


It’s such a therapeutic thing for me. I know I’ve said it before, but¬†seriously¬†when my mind feels like it’s spiralling inward, I just try to focus on copying down poems into a journal and it calms me. It centers me. My emotions are no longer fluctuating sporadically, but rather are at the mercy of whatever I am reading and writing in that moment. I zone out and feel whatever the poet wants me to feel, and I absolutely love it. I love it so damn much.

I cooked dinner and drank wine with a friend who is also a fan of poetry last night, and she recommended some poets for me to check out. I wasn’t a huge fan of all of them, but one stood out to me once I started doing some digging–Lang Leav. I had read some of her stuff before, but I never truly immersed myself in her work. Until today.

And holy shit, I am enamored. Her poetry is almost¬†too emotionally powerful for me to read sometimes–it’s insane! I have actually had to sit back and close my journal a few times because I needed to take another minute or two to consider what I had just read.

Small detail, I rarely read an entire poem before I decide to write it down. I tend to read just the title and first few lines, then I start copying it down. This makes it¬†that much more powerful¬†as I figure out what it’s really about as I go along. Some poems take a twist that I didn’t expect, and some are exactly what I expect them to be. I am constantly baffled by poetry’s ability to fluctuate so heavily.

I also don’t just copy down every poem I see. I am actually fairly critical of the things I want to dedicate my time and energy to copying down. They have to make me¬†feel¬†and I have to find a way to¬†really relate¬†to them right now. So lately, I haven’t had any inclination whatsoever to write down any sappy love poems even though I’ve read some truly beautiful ones. They’re not what I want to read right now.

So anyways, here’s some poems that I felt like sharing today. Some are from Lang Leav and the other are from my favorite, Erin Hanson (or “e.h.”).

Enjoy!

xx – A

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