2019 Resolutions

img_9178I am fully aware of the fact that 2019 is well under-way and it’s a bit late to be doing a 2019 Resolution blog, but oh well. (Or am I still in the correct timeframe? I don’t know!) Regardless, I had been wanting to do a blog about my resolutions for the new year for a long time and I even had notes about what to write in a note on my phone. I’m so prepared, I know!

Typically, I’ve never been one to wait until the new year to start a resolution. I always thought of it kind of as an excuse to procrastinate doing something that you should start doing as soon as possible (like working out, for example). I still feel that way for the most part, but there’s a sense of finality when you say you’re going to “leave something in 2018” and I am starting to appreciate that phrase a bit more. Looking back on my life, I can ultimately decide what years for me were better than others, and this past year definitely had it’s high points, but as a whole, I hated it. It was a year for growth and sometimes growth is insanely painful and hard. At least it definitely was for me.

I decided to make 2019 a beautiful year in every sense of the word. I want to do my best to make myself happy and in order to do that, I need to bring a few healthy habits or routines through the year with me.

My first goal for myself is to stop comparing myself to people. I don’t talk about how frequently I do this because I’ve really only noticed recently. The worst part, it’s not physical features that I compare as much, it’s personality characteristics–my success, my income, my motivation, things like that. Rather than admire someone else’s success, I find myself putting myself down because I might not have had that level of success. This is a really bad habit to be in, and I genuinely just need to learn to appreciate myself and my accomplishments without comparing every little thing to other people. (I hope that makes sense.)

My next goal for 2019 is fairly simple, actually and it encompasses most other resolutions I could have typed out here. It’s to leave toxic people in 2019. If there is someone that is bringing negativity into my life, I just need to back away. Maybe they’ll realize what they’re doing, maybe they won’t. To add to that, I want to stop giving so much of my time and effort to people who do not deserve it. I’ve realized that I put in way more effort into relationships than I receive and it’s not fair to me.

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Also, I’m going to try to spend less time on social media. It’s toxic, we all know this.

I struggled a lot this past year, and I really just want to be as happy as possible in the future. Lately my life has been pretty happy and I love that so much. I want to maintain that low-stress streak. Who wouldn’t?

Since there was actually a “start date” for these goals, it almost seems easier to embrace them 100%. It’s time to really take care of myself.

xx – A

LOL Someone Sees Through Me (Oh No!!!)

Y’all I didn’t think I was cool enough to have trolls on my internet things, but I guess I am!! How exciting! I checked my blog today and was delighted to find that someone had left me a quite lengthy comment about their, rather low, opinion of me. Not that I care what they have to say, but I’ve gotten a few comments similar to this one on various social media platforms over the last few weeks and it’s honestly just annoying. So here’s the comment, but fair warning, this individual clearly has some personal issues they need to work out. I See Through You

I just wanna take a minute to defend myself because I’m not one for sitting back and letting people throw punches at me. 🙂

  1. My blog is whatever the hell I want it to be. If someone thinks it’s “self-righteous” then they don’t need to read it. This is my website and my blog that are mine to use how I please.
  2. I pay my fair share of rent at my house. Also, the house itself hasn’t helped with my depression, being significantly closer to my friends has. I see people I love almost every day and that has saved me from the darkest months of my life.
  3. I do create art.
  4. I can take shots of whatever I want. If I wanna take a pic that shows my butt off, I am allowed to do just that.
  5. No one at iHeart is obsessed with me. In fact, I’m not even sure where one would get that assumption. I wear my noise cancelling headphones all day and avoid talking to other people.
  6. THERE IS NO SILICON ANYWHERE IN MY BODY. But thanks for the compliment, I think I have nice boobs also.
  7. I’m pretty without makeup, too. 😉

Why do people think it’s okay to judge people they don’t know? I know this is a blog, but believe it or not, there are a lot of things I don’t actually talk about on here.

My 2019 wish for anyone out there with negativity to spread: don’t judge people you don’t know. Try to give others the benefit of the doubt because more than likely, they have been through more than you could ever know. It’s taken me a very long time to get my mental health to the place it is today. I’m proud of that progress. I don’t appreciate people coming in shooting shots at me for no reason other than to try to make themselves feel better.

Sidenote: I also have Humble stuck in my head thanks to that oh-so-insightful comment.

Happy New Year, fam! Don’t be mean to people.

xx – A

My Professional Future

Two blogs??? In two days??? Crazy, I know. I’m just feeling chatty and this is my favorite way to get some things off my mind.img_8704

Lately, I’ve found myself contemplating my options regarding what to do in the future, professionally. I graduated about a year ago with my degree in Communication, but I still don’t really know where to go with it. Of course, I’m still with iHeartMedia, but the job I have now is only a stepping stone. I need to sort out where I want to go next and what I want to do.

Since I’m a relatively logical person, my first step in this inquisition was to do a bit of Googling. Turns out, that helps a lot. 

“What kind of jobs can I get with a communication degree?”

  • Meeting/event planner
  • Social media manager
  • Business reporter
  • Brand manager
  • Sales representative
  • Web producer
  • Marketing coordinator
  • Advertising executive

Those are just some of the things I discovered, but oh my god! Having a general idea of the places I can go with my degree is more helpful than I could have imagined. 

You see, I’m a planner. I like to know where I’m going and how I’m going to get there months in advance. This allows me to make sure I am 100% prepared for whatever I want to do. If I want to go into a job with social media management, I need to make sure to build and fine-tune my skill set before I actually try for jobs doing that. 

Even though Google helped me get a bit of an idea regarding what I can do, I still haven’t got the slightest idea what I actually want to do. I had never considered this before, but the concept of being an event planner sounds oddly enticing. I’m a very organized and meticulous person so I think I would be greatly suited to such a job. 

Who knows, though? I could end up doing practically anything, but I do want to make sure that it leads me in the right direction. 

“The steps you take don’t need to be big, the just need to take you in the right direction.” -A.O.S.

I guess I’ve just been confused lately and if anyone happens to read this blog that’s also feeling confused, they should know it’s perfectly normal. You just have to constantly work towards making yourself the best you can be, is all. 

Anyways, that’s all I have for now. 

xx – A 

P.S. Check out page 2 of this blog for a bit of added insight on my job researching.

Two Steps Forward….

img_6960So you know what they say? Two steps forward, one step back? I long-jumped backwards. In my defense though, I had been running at a full sprint forwards for a while so I guess it caught up to me a bit. Performing as perfectly as possible forever isn’t realistic, I guess.

I’ve been having a hard time lately, and when I’m having a hard time, I’ve found my best way to deal with it is to blog. So i’m back. I took like a month long hiatus from blogging because i was distracted, but no more!

I’ve been lacking motivation and desire to workout and blog and do all of those things lately. I’ve still been making myself workout pretty regularly, but it’s just not fun for me right now. I need to work on getting back into a healthier mindset, but it’s not easy. It feels freaking impossible. I really need to work on keeping toxicity out of my life instead of letting it poison me from the inside out.

My priorities shifted away from the desire to excel and that really upsets me. Like i was blogging once a week, and now? It’s been so long! I’m not even nearly as motivated as I had previously been to bang out my freelance blogs (although i’m obviously still writing them regularly). I’m thinking it’s time for a mental reboot, but I’m not really sure how to do that other than start doing the things I need to do again. Blogging, working out, spending time with friends and family, saving money, working hard. Working hard makes me happy and I need to make sure to always do what makes me happy.

I decided I’m going to implement some new short-term goals for myself to help get back on track. 🙂 I figured that typing them out and sharing them with the world would help hold me accountable. (Feel free to call me out if you notice me slacking.) I’m writing out 5 goals for myself for the next few weeks that will hopefully get me back to where I need and want to be.

  1. Fall in love with working out again. Embrace the endorphins that come with working out, and use your beautiful workout group to find your way back to the healthy relationship you had with working out.
  2. Stop spending so freely. You’ve stopped so heavily focusing on your goal of moving to Florida and if you want that to happen, you need to continue to be smart with your spending habits.
  3. Get back into regular blogging, both freelance and personal. It’s a therapeutic habit and when you start slacking on that, you start losing focus.
  4. Learn to not be so hard on yourself. You’re your own biggest critic, and honestly, you need to learn how to chill out sometimes when it comes to beating yourself up when you muck up.
  5. Practice good self care. 🙂 Eat healthier, take care of yourself, do facemasks, paint your nails, etc. Do it all and do it with love!

Hopefully this blog wasn’t too dull or whatever for you to read. Sometimes I write for other people and sometimes I do it for myself. Today is a day for the latter.

Hope everyone has a great rest of their week.

xx – A

P.S. In the last few weeks, vacationed in Destin, Florida with my friends, turned 23, went home, spent the day at Six Flags, tubed the river, visited with a friend from Belgium, spent loads of time with friends (doing all of those activities), and made some amazing memories. Just a little update. 🙂

Social Media Cleanse

Has anyone had the desire to delete their social media accounts and just kind of take a break from it all? I feel like we all have had that desire at some point, but the amount of people who actually act on it is a much smaller number. Well, I’m officially part of that number.

I realized something a while ago–I have a social media addiction. It’s kind of a dependency, really. I rely on the validation I get when I post things, and I’ve realized how bad that is. I need to take a step back from social media as a whole. So, after a week of chewing on the idea, I decided to get started. I need to post on social media because it makes me happy, NOT because I want validation.

downloadThe first thing to go was going to be Twitter. “That’ll be the easiest,” I thought to myself. So last Tuesday, I deleted my Twitter app. I didn’t delete my entire account because 1) my blogs are shared to Twitter and 2) my Instagram posts are shared to Twitter. I have enough willpower to keep myself off of it for a while. (I’m not trying to cut social media altogether, I just need to take a step back.) So far, not being on Twitter hasn’t been so bad. Boy, I wasn’t prepared for how difficult the next step would be though–Snapchat.

unnamedSnapchat was (and still is) my main social media issue. I always told myself I couldn’t delete it because “streaks”, but when I realized I had no streaks I cared about, deleting it became a possibility. I actually wanted to delete Snapchat before I considered deleting Twitter, but decided to start small. On Monday I started chewing on the idea of deleting Snapchat, but I didn’t take action on that thought until Friday evening. I figured if I was busy all weekend, the first few days might be a little easier.

I was wrong.

(Disclaimer: I didn’t delete the entire app because I don’t want to have to redownload the thousands of pictures I have saved on there again. I also wanted to have access to those pictures while not being on the app. I just turned off all notifications and turned off cellular data for the app. That’s been good enough for now.)

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Y’all, I can’t even tell you how many times I came THIS CLOSE to reactivating it. Oh my god I came so close. I actually have a confession, I reactivated it once on Saturday to see who had seen the “I’m getting off Snap” snap that I had posted. I didn’t open a single snap I had received over the course of 22 hours, nor did I watch a single story…but I still cheated a little. I feel a little guilty, but I’m not perfect!

Today marks 3 days without Snapchat, 6 days without Twitter, and honestly I’m feeling great. I would delete Facebook and Instagram, but my KIC workout group communicates via Facebook, and I need Instagram for self-promotion related aspects. The fact that I’m cutting back so much is a huge deal for me though. I’m pretty damn proud of myself for taking this step, too. Like shit, no one told me I needed to do this, I told myself! I decided on my own that this was the healthiest decision I could make for myself right now. I’m glad I’m doing it, even though it’s not fun.

It’s flipping hard. Y’all, I shit you not, I had a dream on Saturday night that I was using Snapchat. Like, who even does that?! That is not normal.

I’m sort of dreading the upcoming week though. I’m worried that I’ll get bored at work and crave it. If that happens, I’ll probably write a blog that might not even get posted (because I have drafts on drafts that I never end up posting). As of now, I’m going to try to make it a whole week without getting on Snapchat, and I’m a little ashamed that that will be the longest I’ve gone without it since downloading it back in 2012/13. That’s flipping insane.

Y’all, I literally would just get bored and instead of doing something productive, I would check Snapchat. I’d check SnapMaps, chat it up with people, watch stories, read articles on there, go through old pics (and get bad nostalgia), and do whatever else you do on Snapchat. Don’t get me wrong, all that would be fine in moderation, but ya girl don’t know how to moderate. I was checking Snap like way. too. often. And I was oversharing. I felt like everything I did needed to be posted to Snap.
Going out? Snap it.
Cooking dinner? Snap it.
Pool day? Snap it.
Working out? Snap it.
Like dude (@me), chill. No one cares.
My problem had escalated over the past few months, so I decided it was time to actually do something about it.

Has anyone else done something like this? Not because they wanted to, but because they needed to? If so, let me know how it went! Did it help you? Did you go back to being just as addicted after allowing yourself to get back on? I’m curious! I want this to work out for the better for me. I want to be better.

xx – A

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