2019 Resolutions

img_9178I am fully aware of the fact that 2019 is well under-way and it’s a bit late to be doing a 2019 Resolution blog, but oh well. (Or am I still in the correct timeframe? I don’t know!) Regardless, I had been wanting to do a blog about my resolutions for the new year for a long time and I even had notes about what to write in a note on my phone. I’m so prepared, I know!

Typically, I’ve never been one to wait until the new year to start a resolution. I always thought of it kind of as an excuse to procrastinate doing something that you should start doing as soon as possible (like working out, for example). I still feel that way for the most part, but there’s a sense of finality when you say you’re going to “leave something in 2018” and I am starting to appreciate that phrase a bit more. Looking back on my life, I can ultimately decide what years for me were better than others, and this past year definitely had it’s high points, but as a whole, I hated it. It was a year for growth and sometimes growth is insanely painful and hard. At least it definitely was for me.

I decided to make 2019 a beautiful year in every sense of the word. I want to do my best to make myself happy and in order to do that, I need to bring a few healthy habits or routines through the year with me.

My first goal for myself is to stop comparing myself to people. I don’t talk about how frequently I do this because I’ve really only noticed recently. The worst part, it’s not physical features that I compare as much, it’s personality characteristics–my success, my income, my motivation, things like that. Rather than admire someone else’s success, I find myself putting myself down because I might not have had that level of success. This is a really bad habit to be in, and I genuinely just need to learn to appreciate myself and my accomplishments without comparing every little thing to other people. (I hope that makes sense.)

My next goal for 2019 is fairly simple, actually and it encompasses most other resolutions I could have typed out here. It’s to leave toxic people in 2019. If there is someone that is bringing negativity into my life, I just need to back away. Maybe they’ll realize what they’re doing, maybe they won’t. To add to that, I want to stop giving so much of my time and effort to people who do not deserve it. I’ve realized that I put in way more effort into relationships than I receive and it’s not fair to me.

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Also, I’m going to try to spend less time on social media. It’s toxic, we all know this.

I struggled a lot this past year, and I really just want to be as happy as possible in the future. Lately my life has been pretty happy and I love that so much. I want to maintain that low-stress streak. Who wouldn’t?

Since there was actually a “start date” for these goals, it almost seems easier to embrace them 100%. It’s time to really take care of myself.

xx – A

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Happy Holidays!

img_9099Christmas was a few days ago and New Year’s Eve is in another 3 days. It’s that weird time of the year where there are just so many holidays and festivities happening and it’s rather overwhelming. I realized that, over the course of a week, I was going to be traveling between cities like an absurd amount. It’s exhausting and I am going to need some well-deserved down time after all the holidays are over.

Let me update you on Christmas really quick though since I honestly don’t have a lot of time to blog today. (I’m leaving work early so I can head to my best friend’s wedding that I’m in.) I went home last Saturday and stayed with family until the day after Christmas. I spent so much time with family and it was absolutely fantastic. It’s weird to think that if my plans to move away proceed as planned, the holidays will really be the only times I get to see my family. Now, I’m just two and a half hours away and can go home on any weekend, but once I move, it’s major holidays only. Weird thought. Oh well though, it’s still a long way away. We’ll see what happens.

Anyways, for Christmas, my favorite gift was my Bose QuietComfort 35 II headphones and they are THE BEST. They mute the ENTIRE world and holy moly they are a dream. I was literally counting down the days until I could start using them. Also, I killed it in my gift-giving this year. Just a side note.

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So this weekend I’m going to my best friend’s wedding, then I’ll be spending the new year in Austin. So much traveling. So exhausting. It’s fun and cool though, yeah. I’m not entirely sure if this blog has a purpose other than random ramblings. I promised myself I would blog at least once a week from now on though so this is what I’ve got this week.

OOH! Fun information, I am refreshing myself on how to code with HTML and CSS. I learned while I was in college but have pretty much forgotten since then. Once I finish my refresher courses, I’m going to take the dive and try to learn JavaScript. I really want to make sure that I am the best version of myself when I start job hunting in a new state. So yeah, that’s cool and fun and I really like learning new things.

xx – A

Valentine’s Day

Honestly, I feel like this is such a much needed topic to cover. Valentine’s Day is one of those pointless holidays that Hallmark created to sell cards, we all know it. Whatever, they need to make money. The thing I hate about it though, is the expectations. The same goes to EVERY Hallmark holiday, especially New Year’s. There’s this relatively non-important holiday, and with society’s expectations on that holiday, you feel pressured to adhere to some standard of activities on that particular day.

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(Now, my dad did send me some beautiful flowers for Valentine’s Day and I appreciated those SO MUCH. They actually kind of made my day, but that’s not the point of this rant.)

On New Year’s, if you’re not out celebrating with a lot of friends with the perfect date for a New Year’s Kiss, then you’re not doing it right. (Apparently.) So if you don’t have plans to do that, you either feel extreme anxiety in trying to make those plans, or you just feel down because you don’t have a way of doing that at all. I hate that! I hate the societal standard that you have to celebrate this particular holiday and if you don’t, you just feel bummed out. It’s not fair. It’s frustrating.

The same goes for Valentine’s Day. If you’re not out going to a fancy dinner with your significant other and if they don’t give you fancy gifts and if you don’t take cute pictures to post everywhere, then you’re not doing it right. That irritates me SO MUCH. Valentine’s Day just makes you feel crappy if you’re not doing any of those things, and it’s just not fair.

These holidays, along with SO MANY MORE, are primarily celebrated so that products promoting them can be sold. They’re for cooperations to make money off of, and just because there’s nothing I can do about that does not mean I have to actively celebrate them in the way they’re “supposed” to be celebrated. I do what I want on those holidays and just because a random Wednesday happens to be some ridiculous holiday does not mean I’m going to spend a bunch of money on stuff no one needs and stress about plans that are not necessary. And if you’re someone who celebrates these holidays, cool! I celebrate them in their correct way sometimes, but other times I just don’t want that pressure. It’s not fair.

Yeah so I’m not sure if this blog even entirely makes sense but I needed to vent a little. I hope this isn’t too terribly pointless and that you got something out of this.

xx -A