Two Steps Forward….

img_6960So you know what they say? Two steps forward, one step back? I long-jumped backwards. In my defense though, I had been running at a full sprint forwards for a while so I guess it caught up to me a bit. Performing as perfectly as possible forever isn’t realistic, I guess.

I’ve been having a hard time lately, and when I’m having a hard time, I’ve found my best way to deal with it is to blog. So i’m back. I took like a month long hiatus from blogging because i was distracted, but no more!

I’ve been lacking motivation and desire to workout and blog and do all of those things lately. I’ve still been making myself workout pretty regularly, but it’s just not fun for me right now. I need to work on getting back into a healthier mindset, but it’s not easy. It feels freaking impossible. I really need to work on keeping toxicity out of my life instead of letting it poison me from the inside out.

My priorities shifted away from the desire to excel and that really upsets me. Like i was blogging once a week, and now? It’s been so long! I’m not even nearly as motivated as I had previously been to bang out my freelance blogs (although i’m obviously still writing them regularly). I’m thinking it’s time for a mental reboot, but I’m not really sure how to do that other than start doing the things I need to do again. Blogging, working out, spending time with friends and family, saving money, working hard. Working hard makes me happy and I need to make sure to always do what makes me happy.

I decided I’m going to implement some new short-term goals for myself to help get back on track. 🙂 I figured that typing them out and sharing them with the world would help hold me accountable. (Feel free to call me out if you notice me slacking.) I’m writing out 5 goals for myself for the next few weeks that will hopefully get me back to where I need and want to be.

  1. Fall in love with working out again. Embrace the endorphins that come with working out, and use your beautiful workout group to find your way back to the healthy relationship you had with working out.
  2. Stop spending so freely. You’ve stopped so heavily focusing on your goal of moving to Florida and if you want that to happen, you need to continue to be smart with your spending habits.
  3. Get back into regular blogging, both freelance and personal. It’s a therapeutic habit and when you start slacking on that, you start losing focus.
  4. Learn to not be so hard on yourself. You’re your own biggest critic, and honestly, you need to learn how to chill out sometimes when it comes to beating yourself up when you muck up.
  5. Practice good self care. 🙂 Eat healthier, take care of yourself, do facemasks, paint your nails, etc. Do it all and do it with love!

Hopefully this blog wasn’t too dull or whatever for you to read. Sometimes I write for other people and sometimes I do it for myself. Today is a day for the latter.

Hope everyone has a great rest of their week.

xx – A

P.S. In the last few weeks, vacationed in Destin, Florida with my friends, turned 23, went home, spent the day at Six Flags, tubed the river, visited with a friend from Belgium, spent loads of time with friends (doing all of those activities), and made some amazing memories. Just a little update. 🙂

Friday!

Hey y’all! (Wow that sounds so Texan.)

It’s Friday…obviously! And I’m in a STELLAR mood. So, what better way to make use of this amazing mood than to blog amiright? I’ve been slacking lately because work has been insanely busy, but I love it. I love being busy and productive and making money. I usually try to do a “Things I Love Friday” but that’s not going to be the case this week. This week’s blog is going to be much less structured than that….whoops! I’m in too great of a mood to restrict myself with like a blog “formula.”

Anyways, back to my great mood. I want to take this mood and try to share it. (Does that even make sense?) I just want everyone to feel the amazing feelings I’m feeling today. I feel empowered, happy, at peace, and just all-around amazing. There’s a few reasons that led to this, but they’re not important.
If anyone is having a less-than-stellar day/week/month, whatever, I feel you! I’ve had bad days too. So flipping many of them. They suck. But you gotta work work work work work (like Beyonce) to get past them. So, it’s basically the weekend. This weekend, I want you to do something nice for yourself. No matter how busy you might be, spend a little time doing something for you and only you. It’ll help ground you and make you feel better if you’re feeling overwhelmed or something.
Also, spend some time with the people you love, whether it be friends, family, or both. Put your phone down, be present. Get in that quality time. You won’t regret it. xx

Okay, topic change! (I know, whiplash much?) I want to talk about work now! As I mentioned previously, work has been super busy! One of my team members went out on maternity leave last Friday, so starting this week, the remaining 4 members of the team had to pick up a ton of extra work. You see, each of our 5 team members (myself included) has a portion of the United States that they’re responsible for. (I’ve got Texas, Florida, Louisiana, Oklahoma, and a few more states.) BUT, since my team member is out, the work I’m responsible for has definitely increased. It’s been a challenge, but I absolutely love challenges so like, bring it! This added workload on top of my new part-time blogging job has given me so much more workplace satisfaction. I love being busy!

Speaking of being busy, I’m getting together a league sand volleyball team. So I’ll be the team captain to “The Clever Beaches”! Okay so we haven’t actually all agreed on that team name yet. (The guys aren’t fans.) But I’ll be team cap and it’s going to make Tuesday nights super amazing. Plus my legs are going to get even more ripped because being the tallest girl on the team automatically means I’ll be front row spiking and blocking a lot. Another challenge…bring it!

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BUT Y’ALL. The biggest thing I’m loving this Friday (there’s that “Things I Love Friday”  reference) is that I have officially started saving for my next relocation. I have never planned on staying in San Antonio forever, and I think I’ve finally decided on my future home–FLORIDA! I’m still torn between a few cities, but I’m leaning towards the Tampa area. Also my best friend is interested in going with me, so that would actually be goals. I’d finally be out of Texas….a dream come true! I put away $500 into a savings account the other day, and I hope to have roughly $3k in savings by the end of the year. (Definitely achievable because I’m a frugal little child.) So yeah, that’s the plan.

So there ya have it….a very sloppy and unstructured “Things I Love Friday” blog. I hope I didn’t bore y’all too much. Hopefully I can get back into more regular blog posting with actual themes soon, but things have been chaotic.

Have an amazing Friday!

xx – A

 

Things I Love Friday

Second Edition. (Check out the First Edition here.)

I’ve actually been in a pretty glum mood all week, which is exactly why I think I need to write this blog. I should take a step back and focus on the little things that make me happy.


  1.  KIC workouts. (Read more here.)
    Sometimes, my life seems to spin completely out of my control, and the only way I’ve found to regain that control is via working out. The girls in the KIC group are so supportive and they motivate me so much. Aside from them, the killer workouts that I smash out are such a crucial way for me to relieve some stress, so I would probably be completely lost without them. The pic below is a few moments after extensive planking and I was on the verge of death. (I loved it though.)
    img_5963


  2. Cat birthday parties. (Yes, I’m serious.)
    On Wednesday, my friend hosted a “birthday party” for her cat…it was mostly people though. There was two cats. One was mine. There was like 8 girls drinking wine, eating cheese and crackers, and watching two cats hiss at each other. (Our cats are not friends.) It was amazing. Girl’s night to the max. Hey, any reason is a good enough reason to throw a dinner party, right?
    Yes, we actually sang “Happy Birthday” to a cat, and yes it was as great as it seems.

  3. Home cooked meals. 
    I’ve done a lot of cooking this week…more than usual. Check out my first #ThingsILoveFriday to learn about how I get these awesome meals to cook–it’s the fifth topic on my bulleted list.
    On Monday night, I made Pesto Chicken Pizza. (It was amazing, in case you were wondering.) On Tuesday I made Creamy Piccata Chicken with baked brussel sprouts and carrots. It was tasty, but not amazing–not as satisfying of a meal. Super healthy, though. On Thursday night, I made BBQ Shrimp Pizza. Another amazing one. (That’s what I’m having for lunch today.) I wish I could eat it for forever.
    Sadly, I only have a picture of my first meal of the week, but oh man, it was amazing. img_5972


  4. Rain.
    I love the sunshine and I love the rain, but anything in between is not okay with me. (Black or white, essentially.) That’s why I’ve been gloomy this week–it’s been cloudy but not raining all week. It puts me in a mood. But today, today it is finally raining and I love it. I am hoping that the sky gets all this water stuff out of its system today though so I can have a pool day tomorrow. #Sunshine
    Here’s a blurry pic of rain on a window. It’s not particularly pretty or anything, but rain! (I’ll try to update with a better pic later.)
    img_5973


  5. New ideas.
    Vague enough? LOL allow me to elaborate. 🙂 I realized I have free time at work after I finish my tasks for the day (which is why I blog during the day). I was insanely bored the other day, and I realized something–if I blog on my own blog a few times a week, why can’t I do the same for someone else? So now, during my free time, I’m looking for opportunities (paid or unpaid) to blog about anything under the sun for anyone who will let me. It’s nothing special, but it’s something to work toward and I like having goals. I like maintaining maximum levels of productivity, so if I can find opportunities doing things I love, that’d be flippin’ awesome!


Alright fam, I think that’s all I’ve got for today. I don’t have a ton of things, but I tried. That’s what counts right? I always need to find things that make me happy and hold on tight to them, and that’s essentially the purpose of these #ThingsILoveFriday posts. I hope you enjoyed the read. 🙂

xx – A

The Future

We’ve all thought about the future; we all think about the future constantly. We think about what we’re going to do after work or school, about what we’re going to eat for dinner, or even what task we’re going to start on next after finishing the current one. Humans are creatures who are always thinking about the future; whether or not that’s a good think, I don’t know. It just is.

One thing I know for sure is the importance of creating and cultivating plans for your future to look forward to and work towards. If you’re going to school day in and day out, why are you doing it? To get a degree, yes, but what next? You need to form goals for yourself to work towards so that you have a reason for doing what you’re doing. The same goes for those who work jobs, they’re making money, but for what? Yeah, you have to pay bills and have money to live, but what else are you doing with your hard earned cash? Make plans!

Looking forward to big events is important, but it’s the little joys that we look forward to that really keeps us going. Those dinner plans you made with a friend the other day? You know? The ones you’ve been looking forward to all week? Your excitement about this one simple thing keeps your mood up, and essentially gives you something to live for. Even little things like going to the gym after work, or making it through half the day and getting to take a break and eat lunch. Little joys like this get us from one point to the next.

My favorite kind of things to look forward to though, are weekend activities or vacations. (I know I can’t be the only one!) I have this weird way of getting depressed about the future unless I have plans in the future to look forward to. Things like Saturday hikes or weekend trips to NYC are things I can plan and look forward to. Now, the NYC thing hasn’t necessarily been set in stone just yet, but it’s a goal for me to work towards. I have to save money to buy a flight to get there, and once I do that, I can have solid plans.

airplane

As someone who has an ongoing battle with depression and anxiety, I have found ways to keep myself afloat. I keep busy, and I keep looking forward. I’ll continue doing this, until I find myself in a place where I don’t have to work to make plans, they’ll just come naturally. I have been broken and beat down in so many ways, but my determination to not let life just happen to me is what’s keeping me going. I will be in charge of my life, and I refuse to let myself be controlled by life’s shitty events, and instead would rather take charge of my own life. Making plans is my way of doing that.

Do things that keep you going. Always.

xx – A

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