Long Time No See

Wow, okay I just took the longest break in posting a blog since I STARTED BLOGGING. I know, I know, I’m a slacker. In my defense though, work has been very very crazy, and that was my primary time to blog.

We’re adding tons of stations, I’m covering for a co-worker on maternity leave, occasionally covering for others when they’re on vacation, etc., etc.. It’s been crazy and I have barely had time to keep up with my freelance blogs, much less these ones. BUT I’ve had quite a few people inquiring with me as to what the heck is happening? Where was I at? So for the sake of updating everyone on the ins and outs of my life, here I am.

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First things first, tomorrow I’m going on yet another vacation. (I love my life.) I’ll be leaving for New York City for the seventh time tomorrow and I won’t be back until next Tuesday. (At least I think it’s my seventh time, I kind of lost count honestly.) Even though I’ve been a lot, I still absolutely love the city. It’s lively and exciting. My dad is taking me and WE’RE GOING TO THE FREAKING US OPEN (for tennis). That’s his belated birthday present to me, and it’s honestly great. We’ll be courtside at the Louis Armstrong stadium on Labor Day so I’m pretty excited about that. I’ve also got plenty of awesome and fun activities planned for the other days.

I made an itinerary for our trip and I really think my dad is nervous about it. He’s one of those people that just “goes with it” on his vacations but I like having events planned out and whatnot. I still leave plenty of time for chilling out and nothing ever feels rushed, but I just like having tickets and things bought in advance. It makes for a stress free vacation. He’ll see that I’m not psycho.

ALSO, I get to visit some of my closest friends while I’m in NYC! (I’m lookin at you, Mars and Tessa!!!)

Anyways, another update, I’M MOVING. My mom and I are co-buying a beautiful townhome in the Alamo Heights area in San Antonio and I’ll be living there once my lease is up at my apartment in October. So that’s going to be amazing. I’ll have to adjust to life with roommates, but I think I’ll be able to handle it. I’m beyond excited.

In addition to NYC this weekend and moving in October, let me tell you about everything else I have going on during weekends for the next few months. (I’m warning you, it’s a lot.) First, I’m going to NYC, then it’s my best friend’s birthday weekend, then I’m going to Houston, then I’m going home to celebrate my mom’s bday. The last weekend of September is currently free…for now. The first weekend of October I’ll be going home to celebrate my dad’s birthday, weekend after that is ACL, the weekend after that I’ll be moving into my new place, then I have my cousin’s wedding the last weekend of October. The first weekend of November will be spent at Wurstfest for a bachelorette weekend, the following weekend is the same friend’s Bridal shower, and the third weekend is Thanksgiving weekend. I’m just feeling very overwhelmed with everything that’s booked, but like, in a good way! I love having a lot going on.

Anyways, enough rambling for today. Here’s some pictures from random things over the past few weeks since I’ve updated you last.

Two Steps Forward….

img_6960So you know what they say? Two steps forward, one step back? I long-jumped backwards. In my defense though, I had been running at a full sprint forwards for a while so I guess it caught up to me a bit. Performing as perfectly as possible forever isn’t realistic, I guess.

I’ve been having a hard time lately, and when I’m having a hard time, I’ve found my best way to deal with it is to blog. So i’m back. I took like a month long hiatus from blogging because i was distracted, but no more!

I’ve been lacking motivation and desire to workout and blog and do all of those things lately. I’ve still been making myself workout pretty regularly, but it’s just not fun for me right now. I need to work on getting back into a healthier mindset, but it’s not easy. It feels freaking impossible. I really need to work on keeping toxicity out of my life instead of letting it poison me from the inside out.

My priorities shifted away from the desire to excel and that really upsets me. Like i was blogging once a week, and now? It’s been so long! I’m not even nearly as motivated as I had previously been to bang out my freelance blogs (although i’m obviously still writing them regularly). I’m thinking it’s time for a mental reboot, but I’m not really sure how to do that other than start doing the things I need to do again. Blogging, working out, spending time with friends and family, saving money, working hard. Working hard makes me happy and I need to make sure to always do what makes me happy.

I decided I’m going to implement some new short-term goals for myself to help get back on track. 🙂 I figured that typing them out and sharing them with the world would help hold me accountable. (Feel free to call me out if you notice me slacking.) I’m writing out 5 goals for myself for the next few weeks that will hopefully get me back to where I need and want to be.

  1. Fall in love with working out again. Embrace the endorphins that come with working out, and use your beautiful workout group to find your way back to the healthy relationship you had with working out.
  2. Stop spending so freely. You’ve stopped so heavily focusing on your goal of moving to Florida and if you want that to happen, you need to continue to be smart with your spending habits.
  3. Get back into regular blogging, both freelance and personal. It’s a therapeutic habit and when you start slacking on that, you start losing focus.
  4. Learn to not be so hard on yourself. You’re your own biggest critic, and honestly, you need to learn how to chill out sometimes when it comes to beating yourself up when you muck up.
  5. Practice good self care. 🙂 Eat healthier, take care of yourself, do facemasks, paint your nails, etc. Do it all and do it with love!

Hopefully this blog wasn’t too dull or whatever for you to read. Sometimes I write for other people and sometimes I do it for myself. Today is a day for the latter.

Hope everyone has a great rest of their week.

xx – A

P.S. In the last few weeks, vacationed in Destin, Florida with my friends, turned 23, went home, spent the day at Six Flags, tubed the river, visited with a friend from Belgium, spent loads of time with friends (doing all of those activities), and made some amazing memories. Just a little update. 🙂

Dear Momma,

You rock. You’re one the most amazing people I have ever seen in my life. You’re more amazing than literally everyone; more than Queen Elizabeth, more than Ellen, more than Joanna Gaines, more than Prince, more than the Pope–well…maybe not more than the Pope. (I don’t think Jesus would like me saying that??) You get the point, though.
I can’t even begin to thank you for everything you’ve done for me throughout my amazing 22 years of life, but shoot, I’m going to try.

I strongly believe in the concept that not a single person out there can love you as much as your mother does. The kind of love that moms are capable of is beyond explanation and comprehension, and mom, I know that you love me more than I could even imagine. You don’t even have to say it for me to know it. (Although you do frequently–I’m just saying, I’d know regardless.)

Lately, I’ve been thinking more about how frickin’ much I appreciate you, mom. It’s insane how much I do. I know it might not seem like it sometimes, and I know I definitely didn’t show it when I was younger, but you need to know that I do. Nomatterwhat. I get snippy with you sometimes, I forget to call you back, I call you too many times while you’re in meetings, I use your credit card without asking (hehe, sorry!), I forget to say “thank you”, I do so many things that irritate you or otherwise make me seem ungrateful, but you still love me. And I love you. So much.

You’ve put everything you have into raising me, and I owe you so much for all I’ve achieved and everything I’ll ever achieve. I am the person that I am because of you. Don’t get me wrong though, dad was the best dad ever, but this is a Mother’s Day blog, so it’s all about you.

Mom,
Thank you for everything you do and have ever done for me.
Thank you for taking me to countless tennis tournaments.
Thank you for staying up late to help me with the many projects I put off until the last minute back in grade school.
Thank you for helping to pay my college tuition.
Thank you for buying me my car that I still love oh-so-much.
Thank you for always making sure I have money for food, groceries, gas, clothing, activities, and other necessities throughout my life.
Thank you for giving me a great place to live when I moved back home.
Thank you for financially supporting my Starbucks addiction (with only minimal complaints).
Thank you for not thinking I was insane each time I decided to dye my hair a different color and for going with me to the salon to make the change. (Or buying the dye when I decided to do it at home.)
Thank you for talking to me on the phone all the time because I want someone to talk to, even though you’re super busy.
Thank you for being the primary supplier of furniture in my apartment.
Thank you for giving me the tools I need to succeed (in cooking, in tennis, in fashion, in life).
Thank you for being one of my best friends.
Thank you for being the best role model a daughter could ever ask for. For being strong, empowered, smart, and insanely driven. You inspire me every single day.
Thank you for supporting me in every way possible, for motivating me, for advising me, for loving me unconditionally.
Thank you for teaching me to always try and see the bright side of every situation.
Thank you for showing me how to be compassionate.
Thank you for picking me up when I fall down and for holding me when I cry.
Thank you for showing me that even when life has completely steamrolled over you, that you can still get back up and keep going, even if doing so requires a little help.
Thank you for being my crutch when I could not bear to walk on my own.
Thank you for showing me that anything is possible, even if everyone doubts you and the odds are completely against you.
Thank you for being unapologetically you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I will never be able to say it enough.

I love you always forever. So frickin’ much.
xoxo – Anna


Now, I know it’s Mother’s Day, so my mom isn’t the only one being appreciated globally. I want to show some love for the other mothers out there and the things they have done for their kiddos. Everyone appreciates you lovely ladies as well, and you should know it. A mother’s love is unmatched; I’m pretty sure that’s basically a scientific fact (Source: me.science.com). Their ability to give and give and give without a second thought astounds me.

I struggled so much with what to ask people so that I could shift the focus from my mom, to other moms. I wanted it to be something that would provoke a heartfelt response but not give me a bunch of similar responses. Took me 2 weeks to figure it out, but I think I came up with something that’s just right.

What is one thing that your mom does that never fails to make you smile?

“Bring my cat into my room with her
She puts Bandit on me in the mornings”
-Erika

“When she talks to my dogs in a different voice
Well it’s always in a different voice
But you know what I mean”
-Kurtis

“I have hard mornings.
Especially on Monday’s. For some reason, especially in the mornings, I have a hard time being happy and remembering why I’m doing what I’m doing or why I am where I am.
But every single morning without fail my mom sends me those gifs you can send through iMessage. One is always inspirational and the other is funny.
It know it seems insignificant, but I really look forward to those every single morning. And somehow someway she always times it so that I get them right as I’m standing, waiting for the long (dreaded) subway ride before work. It reminds me that no matter what type of day I’m about to have, she believes in me enough to know I can get through anything., Most days it makes me believe too.
Now they’re so important to me I feel like my days would be off without them.”
-Mariela

“Any time she tells me how much she loves me.”
-Marshall

“When she calls just to ask how my day went. In my profession, I hear kids say they never talk to their mom or don’t have a great relationship with them which makes my heart hurt. My mom has inspired me in so many ways and I don’t know where I would be without her. The fact that she takes the time out of her busy life to check on me and listen to me vent or ramble, means the world to me.”
-Lauren

“She always sends me texts before exams to wish me luck 🙂 ”
-Tessa

“I f**king love my mom and everything she does but her laugh is contagious”
-Eric

“Anytime I go home, she always makes the grocery list around me and has all of my favorite things/makes my favorite meals”
-Ashlee

“Since I was little all the way till now. If I happen to lay on the couch or fall asleep. She will bring a blanket and put it on me and kiss my head.”
-Thomas

Shoutout to all the little things that moms do that just brighten their kids’ days. They might not think of it as a big deal, but to others, it means the world.


Lastly, y’all know how much I love poetry, so I can’t resist including some. The fact that my favorite poet has a poem written for moms makes it all the more perfect. Enjoy.

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Happy Mother’s Day!

xx – A


P.S. I wanna thank my best friend up in the Big Apple for helping me with this blog–it wouldn’t have been nearly this great were you not a part of the production process. Thank you, Mars! 🙂


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Assumptions

You know what they say….when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me! (Bad joke? Oh well!)
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I was in the mood for a little blog, but my dilemma was that I really have nothing to write about right now. So, I did what any normal person would do in this situation–I googled. (I now have a nice long list of blog prompts written down for future moments when I’m motivated without inspiration.)
One prompt that kind of stuck with me (partly because it was highlighted on the page, partly because I liked the idea of it) was “Write about the assumptions people make about you.” (I linked to the inspo website I found.)

You would assume that I don’t have many assumptions made about me. I am an upper-middle class, blonde, white female. Fairly standard, I agree. I don’t have obvious race related things assumed about me, and I am in no way trying to demean those assumptions, I just want to talk about the irritating assumptions I have noticed that people have made about me.

The first thing that came to my head when I think about assumptions made about me is “dumb blonde”. If you’re blonde, at least once in your life, someone has made a joke about you being a dumb blonde. I can’t be the only one who hates this. My hair color has no relation to my IQ. Never has, never will. I am smart, clever, quick-witted, and everything opposite of being a “dumb blonde.” Stop insulting people’s intelligence by basing your assumptions of them on their hair color. It’s stupid.
Another thing, you can absolutely be pretty AND smart. It’s a thing. Just because you care about your appearance and you put time into how you look, does not make you less intelligent. (It should make you look more intelligent honestly, because everyone knows appearances matter.) This kind of ties into the “blonde” thing, but it’s so true. Again, I’m sick of not being taken seriously based on how I look. It’s so frustrating.

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Now, for the sake of not ranting throughout the entirety of this blog, I’m going to convert to list form!! (I could honestly write a 3,000 word blog about this topic, for real!)

Things people assume about me:
  • That, because I’m middle class, I don’t struggle with money/finances. Wrong.
  • That, because I’m thin, I don’t eat. Wrong.
  • That, because I’m thin, I don’t work out and am not strong. Wrong.
  • That I live this “perfect life” based on what’s seen on social media. Wrong.
  • That, because I care about how I look, I’m shallow (or something). Wrong.
  • That, because I have and express feelings, I am weak. Wrong.
  • That, because I’m a woman, I am not as good at something. Wrong.
  • That, because I sometimes show off my body, I’m a slut. Wrong.
  • That, because my hair is an odd color (i.e. pink), I don’t deserve as much respect. Wrong.
  • That, because I’m young, I’m naïve and easily manipulated.
  • That, because I’m blonde, I am ditzy. (Had to say it again.) Wrong.
  • That, because I dress and look nice, I’m weak and can’t handle myself. Wrong. If I tell you I know how to play a sport, don’t laugh and try to explain to me that “it hurts when you get hit”. I know. I’ve played it.
  • That, because you’re a male, you know more than me. (See above.) Wrong.
  • That, because I’m being nice to you, I’m flirting. Wrong.
  • That, because you made assumptions, you think you know me. Wrong.

I’m sure some of you can relate to these assumptions being made about you, as well as plenty others that I’m sure have been made. It’s frustrating.

Hopefully this was even remotely interesting? LOL. Thanks for reading!

xx – A

 

 

Happy. Blissfully happy.

I realized something yesterday. Something amazing.

As I was finishing up my workout (courtesy of the KIC program), I started thinking about the rest of the things I had to do before I could go to bed–fold laundry, eat dinner, shower, paint my nails, tidy up, things like that. I got this warm feeling inside me, and I couldn’t quite place what it was until later. I was literally standing in the shower when it hit me: now, in this moment, is the happiest I have been in so long. Longer than I can remember. In that moment, I realized I am the least stressed, least dependant, most healthy, and happiest I have been in years. Not weeks. Not months. Years. I wish I was exaggerating about that too, but sadly, I am not.

This realization hit me like a freaking wall and it kind of shook me to my core. All of the things that used to stress me out regularly are no longer a part of my life, whether they were school-related, money-related, people-related, or whatever else. They’re no longer an issue. My life has gone from something I didn’t necessarily have full control over, to one that I am so proud to call totally and completely mine.
Don’t get me wrong, I still stress over stuff all the time, but the things I stress about are things I can control. So I fix them. I work through all of the things stressing me out until the stress is gone. I still stress about money, but working full-time makes that stress manageable compared to when I was in college and having less than $100 in my account was standard. I support myself, I control my life, I do the things I want to do and avoid the things I don’t, I have an amazing routine, and I. Am. Happy.

For so long, I struggled with pretty bad depression and anxiety (I still do), but I am getting a handle on those things now. The depression has gone from something I dealt with daily to something that just pops up every now and then. But I know how to handle it now. I know what to do to right myself and move past it. Anxiety is something I feel I will always deal with, but I’ve reduced the number of things in my life that cause anxiety, so I have a good handle on that as well. Guys, I have an actual handle on my life now. It feels amazing. I have so many things going for me, I can’t help but feel blessed.

Honestly, I owe part of this emotional success to a workout routine. I maintained my own routine for about a month before I joined KIC, and things have only gone up since joining. The community I am a part of is SO INSPIRING. It feels so good and so empowering to be a part of it. Working out hard helps me to keep my stress levels at a manageable level, as well as release those fantastic happy endorphins that I love.

I am living my life for me. No one else. Right now, in this moment, I am the best version of myself I have been in a long time. I am so proud of how far I have come.

xx – A

P.S. I dyed my hair pink and I want it to stay forever. And yes I was snapping and driving, but I was stuck in traffic. So it’s okay. 🙂