Two Steps Forward….

img_6960So you know what they say? Two steps forward, one step back? I long-jumped backwards. In my defense though, I had been running at a full sprint forwards for a while so I guess it caught up to me a bit. Performing as perfectly as possible forever isn’t realistic, I guess.

I’ve been having a hard time lately, and when I’m having a hard time, I’ve found my best way to deal with it is to blog. So i’m back. I took like a month long hiatus from blogging because i was distracted, but no more!

I’ve been lacking motivation and desire to workout and blog and do all of those things lately. I’ve still been making myself workout pretty regularly, but it’s just not fun for me right now. I need to work on getting back into a healthier mindset, but it’s not easy. It feels freaking impossible. I really need to work on keeping toxicity out of my life instead of letting it poison me from the inside out.

My priorities shifted away from the desire to excel and that really upsets me. Like i was blogging once a week, and now? It’s been so long! I’m not even nearly as motivated as I had previously been to bang out my freelance blogs (although i’m obviously still writing them regularly). I’m thinking it’s time for a mental reboot, but I’m not really sure how to do that other than start doing the things I need to do again. Blogging, working out, spending time with friends and family, saving money, working hard. Working hard makes me happy and I need to make sure to always do what makes me happy.

I decided I’m going to implement some new short-term goals for myself to help get back on track. 🙂 I figured that typing them out and sharing them with the world would help hold me accountable. (Feel free to call me out if you notice me slacking.) I’m writing out 5 goals for myself for the next few weeks that will hopefully get me back to where I need and want to be.

  1. Fall in love with working out again. Embrace the endorphins that come with working out, and use your beautiful workout group to find your way back to the healthy relationship you had with working out.
  2. Stop spending so freely. You’ve stopped so heavily focusing on your goal of moving to Florida and if you want that to happen, you need to continue to be smart with your spending habits.
  3. Get back into regular blogging, both freelance and personal. It’s a therapeutic habit and when you start slacking on that, you start losing focus.
  4. Learn to not be so hard on yourself. You’re your own biggest critic, and honestly, you need to learn how to chill out sometimes when it comes to beating yourself up when you muck up.
  5. Practice good self care. 🙂 Eat healthier, take care of yourself, do facemasks, paint your nails, etc. Do it all and do it with love!

Hopefully this blog wasn’t too dull or whatever for you to read. Sometimes I write for other people and sometimes I do it for myself. Today is a day for the latter.

Hope everyone has a great rest of their week.

xx – A

P.S. In the last few weeks, vacationed in Destin, Florida with my friends, turned 23, went home, spent the day at Six Flags, tubed the river, visited with a friend from Belgium, spent loads of time with friends (doing all of those activities), and made some amazing memories. Just a little update. 🙂

Honestly What is Motivation?

Okay, anyone that works out regularly can tell you this: relying on motivation is not real. Being motivated to work out every single day is a complete myth. Go find your favorite fitness Instagram account…go ahead….I’ll wait. Got it? Okay, let me tell ya something–they’re not always motivated. Hell, they’re probably not even motivated half the time.

If you want to be in a routine exercising routine, you cannot rely on being motivated to go work out every single time. It won’t happen.

So, how do you consistantly work out then? Well, I’ve got a few tips and tricks I can share with you. 🙂

Let’s compare working out to something mandatory that you do, like say, taking a shower. If everyone waited until they had the motivation to shower every time they needed to shower, we would all smell a lot worse. Showering is just something you do every day. Same with brushing your teeth and eating dinner–you just do it. Now, apply that same mentality to working out. Make it just a part of your daily routine. It’s definitely easier said than done, but trust me, once you’re in the routine of doing it and it becomes a solid part of your day, you will love yourself for it.

Another trick is to make sure you do take rest days and you don’t push yourself too hard. You can’t do a killer workout every single day of the week, your body will not handle it well. I shoot to workout about 5 days of the week, and I usually do something relative active the other two days. This gives my body time to rest and recoup after my more vigorous workouts. I tried working out every single day for a while, and I noticed that the intensity of my workouts started going down. My body was not able to perform at the level I was used to, and although that was discouraging, I realized that in order to improve, I needed to rest. My body needed rest. I’ve since come to a place where I have a very good balance of exercise and rest. I see improvements in myself more when I have a healthier routine. (Unsurprising, right?)

Now, I’m not some insane fitness nut, there are plenty of days where I come home from work, lay in bed, and a massive wave of exhaustion hits me. This insane urge to nap just swallows me. I know if I just avoided laying on my bed, it probably wouldn’t happen, but after a long day of work, sometimes I just need it. So, I allow myself to veg out for a bit. I get home at around 5:20, so I’ll tell myself “you can lay here until 6:00, then you get up and work out.” Weirdly enough, it works. If I give myself time to just completely zone out and be on my phone, take a quick nap, or do whatever, then I find it easier to get up and smash out a workout afterwards. You’ve got to give your mind time to rest. Mind and body go hand in hand, so if one is exhausted, the other will reflect.

So yeah, motivation is crap. Don’t rely on it for anything. It’s a scam! Prioritise working out and in time, you’ll get into a routine. That’s when you’ll start feeling the results as much as seeing them. You’ll notice “wow, the last time I did this workout, it was way harder.” Because if you’re working out regularly, you’ll be able to notice changes much easier.

My fitness journey has had its ups and downs, but I’m learning so much along the way. Hopefully you’ve found some help in this blog, because I truly enjoyed writing it.

xx – A

P.S. My next blog will be about my take on healthy and balanced eating, so stay tuned xx

Enjoy this vid of me ~ dying ~ doing burpees. (Sorry there’s no sound, I didn’t want everyone to listen to me wheezing.)

Fun, Fitness, Friday!

Wow, it seems like lately Fridays have been the only days I have time to blog. That’s kind of a bummer since I was posting two a week for a while. The lack of blogs is a result of me taking on more responsibilities though–I wanted to keep myself busier. (It’s working…I’m slammed.)

So today feels like a great day to do a fitness blog since I haven’t done one in a while, but I want to do a little life update. Quite a few things have transpired over the past week, and I’m quite excited about the weeks to come!
Two weeks from today, myself and a few of my closest friends will be taking off on a ROAD TRIP! We’re going to Destin, Florida for a few days to celebrate my birthday and the Fourth of July, and I could not be more excited. I’m already trying to buy more bikinis so I’m fully prepared, LOL. If anyone has been to Destin before and has recommendations of activities to do or sights to see, let me know! I’m going to be spending the next few days doing some research to hopefully get some solid plans locked down ASAP. (Gotta utilize the free time I have at work while I can, amiright?)
Another update, the volleyball team  I talked about in my last blog is officially locked and loaded. And yes, our team name is the Clever Beaches. It won the vote!! (I also pushed for it, whoops!) So we’re going to have two more practices for the coming two Tuesdays and our first game in on July 10! I’m hoping to kick some booty and have some fun. 🙂 It’ll be great. (I also think this is a pretty great resume booster.)
So that’s pretty much everything significant that happened over the last week.
On to fitness!

So if you weren’t aware or hadn’t read about it in any of my previous blogs, I joined a workout group called Keep It Cleaner, or KIC. This program has been absolutely amazing, and I could not speak more highly of it. I’m not going to go into a big long explanation about it, so read the blog I wrote about it and come back here if you need to. (LOL.) It’s really a fun group and everyone is so supportive and empowering. (I figured it was time to update y’all on my progress now that it’s been going on for a while.)
I first started this program on April 16, so I’ve been doing it for about 2 months now, and holy crap, you guys. It’s been amazing. I do a KIC workout 4-5 times a week, and I’m usually pretty active the other days of the week. The workouts are fast and fun, and they really motivate you to push yourself.
Aside from my physical health being at such a great level right now, my mental health is probably the best it’s been in a long time. A long time. I’ve never felt more confident in myself mentally and physically. I do everything with so much more gusto than I ever have. I decide I want to do something, and I make it happen. I’ve taken more leadership roles, I’ve fostered new friendships, I’ve developed healthier eating habits just because.
And to think, I’ve only been doing this program for two months. I can’t even imagine where I’ll be in another two months! Like crap! I almost have a 6-pack already and I haven’t had one of those in years, and I’ve always been fit.

I want to say that this program has been my saving grace, but I also have to give some credit to myself. This program didn’t do the work for me; it gave me the tools to succeed, but I did that myself. I held myself accountable and I have been holding myself accountable. I’m proud of how far I’ve come, and I can’t wait to see where I go from here. 🙂

Also, I got an iPhone x, so my photos are officially going to be so much better. I’ve never loved a phone more than I have this one!!
(Thanks, momma for the early bday prezzie.)

Happy Friday!

xx – A

Friday!

Hey y’all! (Wow that sounds so Texan.)

It’s Friday…obviously! And I’m in a STELLAR mood. So, what better way to make use of this amazing mood than to blog amiright? I’ve been slacking lately because work has been insanely busy, but I love it. I love being busy and productive and making money. I usually try to do a “Things I Love Friday” but that’s not going to be the case this week. This week’s blog is going to be much less structured than that….whoops! I’m in too great of a mood to restrict myself with like a blog “formula.”

Anyways, back to my great mood. I want to take this mood and try to share it. (Does that even make sense?) I just want everyone to feel the amazing feelings I’m feeling today. I feel empowered, happy, at peace, and just all-around amazing. There’s a few reasons that led to this, but they’re not important.
If anyone is having a less-than-stellar day/week/month, whatever, I feel you! I’ve had bad days too. So flipping many of them. They suck. But you gotta work work work work work (like Beyonce) to get past them. So, it’s basically the weekend. This weekend, I want you to do something nice for yourself. No matter how busy you might be, spend a little time doing something for you and only you. It’ll help ground you and make you feel better if you’re feeling overwhelmed or something.
Also, spend some time with the people you love, whether it be friends, family, or both. Put your phone down, be present. Get in that quality time. You won’t regret it. xx

Okay, topic change! (I know, whiplash much?) I want to talk about work now! As I mentioned previously, work has been super busy! One of my team members went out on maternity leave last Friday, so starting this week, the remaining 4 members of the team had to pick up a ton of extra work. You see, each of our 5 team members (myself included) has a portion of the United States that they’re responsible for. (I’ve got Texas, Florida, Louisiana, Oklahoma, and a few more states.) BUT, since my team member is out, the work I’m responsible for has definitely increased. It’s been a challenge, but I absolutely love challenges so like, bring it! This added workload on top of my new part-time blogging job has given me so much more workplace satisfaction. I love being busy!

Speaking of being busy, I’m getting together a league sand volleyball team. So I’ll be the team captain to “The Clever Beaches”! Okay so we haven’t actually all agreed on that team name yet. (The guys aren’t fans.) But I’ll be team cap and it’s going to make Tuesday nights super amazing. Plus my legs are going to get even more ripped because being the tallest girl on the team automatically means I’ll be front row spiking and blocking a lot. Another challenge…bring it!

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BUT Y’ALL. The biggest thing I’m loving this Friday (there’s that “Things I Love Friday”  reference) is that I have officially started saving for my next relocation. I have never planned on staying in San Antonio forever, and I think I’ve finally decided on my future home–FLORIDA! I’m still torn between a few cities, but I’m leaning towards the Tampa area. Also my best friend is interested in going with me, so that would actually be goals. I’d finally be out of Texas….a dream come true! I put away $500 into a savings account the other day, and I hope to have roughly $3k in savings by the end of the year. (Definitely achievable because I’m a frugal little child.) So yeah, that’s the plan.

So there ya have it….a very sloppy and unstructured “Things I Love Friday” blog. I hope I didn’t bore y’all too much. Hopefully I can get back into more regular blog posting with actual themes soon, but things have been chaotic.

Have an amazing Friday!

xx – A

 

The Future

We’ve all thought about the future; we all think about the future constantly. We think about what we’re going to do after work or school, about what we’re going to eat for dinner, or even what task we’re going to start on next after finishing the current one. Humans are creatures who are always thinking about the future; whether or not that’s a good think, I don’t know. It just is.

One thing I know for sure is the importance of creating and cultivating plans for your future to look forward to and work towards. If you’re going to school day in and day out, why are you doing it? To get a degree, yes, but what next? You need to form goals for yourself to work towards so that you have a reason for doing what you’re doing. The same goes for those who work jobs, they’re making money, but for what? Yeah, you have to pay bills and have money to live, but what else are you doing with your hard earned cash? Make plans!

Looking forward to big events is important, but it’s the little joys that we look forward to that really keeps us going. Those dinner plans you made with a friend the other day? You know? The ones you’ve been looking forward to all week? Your excitement about this one simple thing keeps your mood up, and essentially gives you something to live for. Even little things like going to the gym after work, or making it through half the day and getting to take a break and eat lunch. Little joys like this get us from one point to the next.

My favorite kind of things to look forward to though, are weekend activities or vacations. (I know I can’t be the only one!) I have this weird way of getting depressed about the future unless I have plans in the future to look forward to. Things like Saturday hikes or weekend trips to NYC are things I can plan and look forward to. Now, the NYC thing hasn’t necessarily been set in stone just yet, but it’s a goal for me to work towards. I have to save money to buy a flight to get there, and once I do that, I can have solid plans.

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As someone who has an ongoing battle with depression and anxiety, I have found ways to keep myself afloat. I keep busy, and I keep looking forward. I’ll continue doing this, until I find myself in a place where I don’t have to work to make plans, they’ll just come naturally. I have been broken and beat down in so many ways, but my determination to not let life just happen to me is what’s keeping me going. I will be in charge of my life, and I refuse to let myself be controlled by life’s shitty events, and instead would rather take charge of my own life. Making plans is my way of doing that.

Do things that keep you going. Always.

xx – A

Words of Wisdom

Who needs advice on how to handle post-graduate life?
Or just life in general? I know I do.

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Since graduating, my life has consisted of a series of drastic changes. Some of which, I elected to take on myself, some were thrust upon me, and others knocked me off my feet entirely. But here I am, still living. I decided I wanted to ask people a question regarding advice they might give to their younger selves. I came up with two options–one based around what advice they would give to themselves after graduating college, and one regarding advice they’d give to their younger self in general. Even now, as I ask people and compile quotes, the nature of my blog post changes slightly, and I can’t help but smile to myself because that embodies the exact nature of this post–change.

One of two questions will be sent to a variety of people. Hopefully someone reading this will find wisdom and solace in the words my friends and family provide (or even just smile at some of the goofier things said.)
Fair warning though, I ended up with more quotes than I intended, so you’re in for a world of advice. It’s a good read though, so I strongly urge you to read it all.

Enjoy.


If you could go back in time to when you had just graduated college and give yourself advice, what would you say?

“Enjoy life and know that what’s meant to be, will happen.” -Mariela, 22

“Live hard and travel.” -Robin, 26

“Don’t be afraid to do things on your own–get out and explore what life can be.” -Ashlee, 22

“There’s nothing wrong with not having a dream job. If at the end of the day you’re happy and your bills are paid, then what you do isn’t as important.” -Scott, 25

“Cheap beer is never the answer.” -Jake, 25

I’d probably tell myself to pay more attention to other people. Be genuinely interested in what’s going on in their life and how they’re doing so I could help them or just know what to say to them when they needed it.” –Evan, 25

Don’t be so defensive and fix your victim complex, the world is not out to get you. It’s your life, so live it your way to the best of YOUR ability. Play a song that’s in your heart, keep dreaming, but most importantly live long and prosper.” -Nicholas, 27 (Some content omitted for length purposes.)

“I would tell myself to be true to myself and not let a failed relationship alter my course. My first boyfriend dumped me when I was 22 and I had a hard time getting over it. Looking back, that breakup was a good thing because I wasn’t ready to be attached.” -Theresa, 55

“Not to take the first job thrown at you.” -Ryan, 24

“I would probably tell myself to be more patient about making job decisions and to put myself out there more. Don’t settle.” -Lauren, 23

Chill the eff out. Enjoy your time, and nothing lasts forever. It will probably be a few years before you figure out what you’ll end up doing. Career wise. You will most likely stumble across it by accident. But even if you found it today, you wouldn’t be ready for it. So…enjoy the ride. That applies to in work and outside.” -Evan, 38


If you could go back in time and give yourself advice, what would you say?

“There’s no hurry. Enjoy the journey. And, stay in school! Know yourself before you become a couple…” -Janet, 51

Not to bet money yesterday.” -Eric (currently visiting Las Vegas), 21

Be confident in everything you do and in every decision you make.” -Wilson, 21

Your life is short and precious. It is not to be cluttered with frivolous bullshit. Focus on things that TRULY bring you joy. Wasted time holds the heaviest guilt. If you can’t get into that book, put it down and start a new one. If an acquaintance leaves you feeling drained and ugly, limit your contact. If a hobby starts to feel like a chore, don’t do it anymore. If you don’t feel like going out, stay your ass at home. If your job treats you like a bad boyfriend, DUMP IT.
However, as particular as you must be with your time, make sure that every single person you encounter can say that they’ve experienced pure, unconditional love and acceptance. If you love without expectation, you will never be hurt or disappointed.
Live wholly and apologetically as yourself. You do you, boo boo! Don’t listen to society. Do not for a second conform. Your mind is beautiful and different so embrace it.
Above all else baby girl, focus on your value, not your success.” -Lisa, 25 (Some content omitted for length purposes.)

Work hard and find goals to work towards. Stay motivated.” -Kurtis, 21

Don’t care so much, and those boys are seriously not worth your time, FYI.” -Krysten, 23

Never settle. Be more confident in yourself. NEVER ignore red flags. Trust your gut. Travel more. Save money, you never know what surprises life will throw you. Realize sooner that you are a badass woman and can handle anything life hands you!” -Ally, 30

“Never let others belittle you.” -Molly, 16

“I wish I wasn’t afraid to make my own decisions on things. I let my husband make decisions whether I agreed or not. This was hard to admit, but it was a mistake on my part.” -Ellie, 78

“Don’t be insecure, everybody has doubts.
Enjoy even the poor times of your life. Those are great memories you will enjoy remembering.
Participate in every 401k plan you can.
Don’t ring up debt. Money is more fun if you spend it as you earn it instead of before you earn it.” -Sharon, 52

“Go to bed earlier.” -August, 57

Don’t look at others and think they have the perfect life. Everyone faces their own challenges. They only show the good things to the rest of the world (on social media). People don’t always share their struggles. (Aka, the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence.) -Trisha, 47

“Don’t be scared to do new things. I get anxious of the unknown and wish I enjoyed myself more.” -Chase, 28

Spend more time appreciating what you have instead of wishing you had more. And look for your purpose in your current situation instead of a way out of it. It’s usually easier going through it than it is getting out of it.” -Mike, 43.

“1. Don’t pay so much attention to what other people are doing and focus on yourself.
2. Don’t miss out on experiences that could be fun because you’re scared.
3. On that note, learn how to say no.
4. Take time to figure out what you love.
5. Learn to take care of yourself.
6. That boy? The one that doesn’t call back and only texts you late at night? He’s not worth any of it. Know your own worth well enough to say no.
7. Talk to your family. 
8. You’ll meet some of the best people in the world during this time: wonderful amazing loving people that will become your best friends.
9. On that note, you’ll meet some pretty awful people too. Keep your head up, and if someone is toxic, cut them out.
10. Relationships are hard. Sometimes things don’t work out for whatever reason and you’re stuck picking up the pieces alone. Remember that healing isn’t a linear process and these things take time. Don’t harden your heart just because you feel sad.
You’re only 22, you don’t have to have it all figured out now.”
-Tessa, 22 (Some content omitted for length purposes.)

“Watch the people you keep around because they’re the ones you’re giving the ability to do you wrong.” -August, 19

“Follow your dreams and don’t worry about making other people happy. Do your own thing.” -Erika, 23


Initially, I was going to omit the advice I would give to myself, but a friend suggested I include it. So, here we go.

What would I say if I could go back and tell my younger self something? Where do I even begin? 

Life is shitty sometimes, and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. Instead of dwelling on everything that’s going wrong, focus instead on the blessings in your life. Find things that bring you joy, no matter how small they might be, and DO those things. Do them always. In this long and complicated life we live, there are few things that matter more than the simple pleasures. 

Find people that you love and who love you back and never let them go. Ever. Having people in your life who truly care about you is such an amazing feeling and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. When they need you, be there for them and they will be there for you in return when you need them. If you ever fall down and become broken, these people will be your crutch until you learn to walk on your own again.

Maintain the realization that people who mean a lot to you are worth you swallowing your pride sometimes.  Think to yourself: Is this little argument worth this friendship? Usually the answer is no. Apologize even if you’re not wrong–the relief that accompanies the end of a conflict is well worth it. Recognize that most people are worth more than your need to be right, but also be mindful of the ones that aren’t. 

Work your ass off. No one gets anywhere without true effort on their part. If you want to achieve your dreams of living in big cities and traveling the world, you’re going to have to put in 110%. But, it’ll all be worth it when you look back and see how far you’ve come. Make your parents proud. Make your friends proud. Most importantly though, make yourself proud of who you’ve become.

And lastly, love yourself, damnit. Always take care of you.” -Anna, 22

xx – A