Honestly What is Motivation?

Okay, anyone that works out regularly can tell you this: relying on motivation is not real. Being motivated to work out every single day is a complete myth. Go find your favorite fitness Instagram account…go ahead….I’ll wait. Got it? Okay, let me tell ya something–they’re not always motivated. Hell, they’re probably not even motivated half the time.

If you want to be in a routine exercising routine, you cannot rely on being motivated to go work out every single time. It won’t happen.

So, how do you consistantly work out then? Well, I’ve got a few tips and tricks I can share with you. 🙂

Let’s compare working out to something mandatory that you do, like say, taking a shower. If everyone waited until they had the motivation to shower every time they needed to shower, we would all smell a lot worse. Showering is just something you do every day. Same with brushing your teeth and eating dinner–you just do it. Now, apply that same mentality to working out. Make it just a part of your daily routine. It’s definitely easier said than done, but trust me, once you’re in the routine of doing it and it becomes a solid part of your day, you will love yourself for it.

Another trick is to make sure you do take rest days and you don’t push yourself too hard. You can’t do a killer workout every single day of the week, your body will not handle it well. I shoot to workout about 5 days of the week, and I usually do something relative active the other two days. This gives my body time to rest and recoup after my more vigorous workouts. I tried working out every single day for a while, and I noticed that the intensity of my workouts started going down. My body was not able to perform at the level I was used to, and although that was discouraging, I realized that in order to improve, I needed to rest. My body needed rest. I’ve since come to a place where I have a very good balance of exercise and rest. I see improvements in myself more when I have a healthier routine. (Unsurprising, right?)

Now, I’m not some insane fitness nut, there are plenty of days where I come home from work, lay in bed, and a massive wave of exhaustion hits me. This insane urge to nap just swallows me. I know if I just avoided laying on my bed, it probably wouldn’t happen, but after a long day of work, sometimes I just need it. So, I allow myself to veg out for a bit. I get home at around 5:20, so I’ll tell myself “you can lay here until 6:00, then you get up and work out.” Weirdly enough, it works. If I give myself time to just completely zone out and be on my phone, take a quick nap, or do whatever, then I find it easier to get up and smash out a workout afterwards. You’ve got to give your mind time to rest. Mind and body go hand in hand, so if one is exhausted, the other will reflect.

So yeah, motivation is crap. Don’t rely on it for anything. It’s a scam! Prioritise working out and in time, you’ll get into a routine. That’s when you’ll start feeling the results as much as seeing them. You’ll notice “wow, the last time I did this workout, it was way harder.” Because if you’re working out regularly, you’ll be able to notice changes much easier.

My fitness journey has had its ups and downs, but I’m learning so much along the way. Hopefully you’ve found some help in this blog, because I truly enjoyed writing it.

xx – A

P.S. My next blog will be about my take on healthy and balanced eating, so stay tuned xx

Enjoy this vid of me ~ dying ~ doing burpees. (Sorry there’s no sound, I didn’t want everyone to listen to me wheezing.)

Social Media Cleanse

Has anyone had the desire to delete their social media accounts and just kind of take a break from it all? I feel like we all have had that desire at some point, but the amount of people who actually act on it is a much smaller number. Well, I’m officially part of that number.

I realized something a while ago–I have a social media addiction. It’s kind of a dependency, really. I rely on the validation I get when I post things, and I’ve realized how bad that is. I need to take a step back from social media as a whole. So, after a week of chewing on the idea, I decided to get started. I need to post on social media because it makes me happy, NOT because I want validation.

downloadThe first thing to go was going to be Twitter. “That’ll be the easiest,” I thought to myself. So last Tuesday, I deleted my Twitter app. I didn’t delete my entire account because 1) my blogs are shared to Twitter and 2) my Instagram posts are shared to Twitter. I have enough willpower to keep myself off of it for a while. (I’m not trying to cut social media altogether, I just need to take a step back.) So far, not being on Twitter hasn’t been so bad. Boy, I wasn’t prepared for how difficult the next step would be though–Snapchat.

unnamedSnapchat was (and still is) my main social media issue. I always told myself I couldn’t delete it because “streaks”, but when I realized I had no streaks I cared about, deleting it became a possibility. I actually wanted to delete Snapchat before I considered deleting Twitter, but decided to start small. On Monday I started chewing on the idea of deleting Snapchat, but I didn’t take action on that thought until Friday evening. I figured if I was busy all weekend, the first few days might be a little easier.

I was wrong.

(Disclaimer: I didn’t delete the entire app because I don’t want to have to redownload the thousands of pictures I have saved on there again. I also wanted to have access to those pictures while not being on the app. I just turned off all notifications and turned off cellular data for the app. That’s been good enough for now.)

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Y’all, I can’t even tell you how many times I came THIS CLOSE to reactivating it. Oh my god I came so close. I actually have a confession, I reactivated it once on Saturday to see who had seen the “I’m getting off Snap” snap that I had posted. I didn’t open a single snap I had received over the course of 22 hours, nor did I watch a single story…but I still cheated a little. I feel a little guilty, but I’m not perfect!

Today marks 3 days without Snapchat, 6 days without Twitter, and honestly I’m feeling great. I would delete Facebook and Instagram, but my KIC workout group communicates via Facebook, and I need Instagram for self-promotion related aspects. The fact that I’m cutting back so much is a huge deal for me though. I’m pretty damn proud of myself for taking this step, too. Like shit, no one told me I needed to do this, I told myself! I decided on my own that this was the healthiest decision I could make for myself right now. I’m glad I’m doing it, even though it’s not fun.

It’s flipping hard. Y’all, I shit you not, I had a dream on Saturday night that I was using Snapchat. Like, who even does that?! That is not normal.

I’m sort of dreading the upcoming week though. I’m worried that I’ll get bored at work and crave it. If that happens, I’ll probably write a blog that might not even get posted (because I have drafts on drafts that I never end up posting). As of now, I’m going to try to make it a whole week without getting on Snapchat, and I’m a little ashamed that that will be the longest I’ve gone without it since downloading it back in 2012/13. That’s flipping insane.

Y’all, I literally would just get bored and instead of doing something productive, I would check Snapchat. I’d check SnapMaps, chat it up with people, watch stories, read articles on there, go through old pics (and get bad nostalgia), and do whatever else you do on Snapchat. Don’t get me wrong, all that would be fine in moderation, but ya girl don’t know how to moderate. I was checking Snap like way. too. often. And I was oversharing. I felt like everything I did needed to be posted to Snap.
Going out? Snap it.
Cooking dinner? Snap it.
Pool day? Snap it.
Working out? Snap it.
Like dude (@me), chill. No one cares.
My problem had escalated over the past few months, so I decided it was time to actually do something about it.

Has anyone else done something like this? Not because they wanted to, but because they needed to? If so, let me know how it went! Did it help you? Did you go back to being just as addicted after allowing yourself to get back on? I’m curious! I want this to work out for the better for me. I want to be better.

xx – A

Keep up with me on Instagram!

Things I Love Friday

Second Edition. (Check out the First Edition here.)

I’ve actually been in a pretty glum mood all week, which is exactly why I think I need to write this blog. I should take a step back and focus on the little things that make me happy.


  1.  KIC workouts. (Read more here.)
    Sometimes, my life seems to spin completely out of my control, and the only way I’ve found to regain that control is via working out. The girls in the KIC group are so supportive and they motivate me so much. Aside from them, the killer workouts that I smash out are such a crucial way for me to relieve some stress, so I would probably be completely lost without them. The pic below is a few moments after extensive planking and I was on the verge of death. (I loved it though.)
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  2. Cat birthday parties. (Yes, I’m serious.)
    On Wednesday, my friend hosted a “birthday party” for her cat…it was mostly people though. There was two cats. One was mine. There was like 8 girls drinking wine, eating cheese and crackers, and watching two cats hiss at each other. (Our cats are not friends.) It was amazing. Girl’s night to the max. Hey, any reason is a good enough reason to throw a dinner party, right?
    Yes, we actually sang “Happy Birthday” to a cat, and yes it was as great as it seems.

  3. Home cooked meals. 
    I’ve done a lot of cooking this week…more than usual. Check out my first #ThingsILoveFriday to learn about how I get these awesome meals to cook–it’s the fifth topic on my bulleted list.
    On Monday night, I made Pesto Chicken Pizza. (It was amazing, in case you were wondering.) On Tuesday I made Creamy Piccata Chicken with baked brussel sprouts and carrots. It was tasty, but not amazing–not as satisfying of a meal. Super healthy, though. On Thursday night, I made BBQ Shrimp Pizza. Another amazing one. (That’s what I’m having for lunch today.) I wish I could eat it for forever.
    Sadly, I only have a picture of my first meal of the week, but oh man, it was amazing. img_5972


  4. Rain.
    I love the sunshine and I love the rain, but anything in between is not okay with me. (Black or white, essentially.) That’s why I’ve been gloomy this week–it’s been cloudy but not raining all week. It puts me in a mood. But today, today it is finally raining and I love it. I am hoping that the sky gets all this water stuff out of its system today though so I can have a pool day tomorrow. #Sunshine
    Here’s a blurry pic of rain on a window. It’s not particularly pretty or anything, but rain! (I’ll try to update with a better pic later.)
    img_5973


  5. New ideas.
    Vague enough? LOL allow me to elaborate. 🙂 I realized I have free time at work after I finish my tasks for the day (which is why I blog during the day). I was insanely bored the other day, and I realized something–if I blog on my own blog a few times a week, why can’t I do the same for someone else? So now, during my free time, I’m looking for opportunities (paid or unpaid) to blog about anything under the sun for anyone who will let me. It’s nothing special, but it’s something to work toward and I like having goals. I like maintaining maximum levels of productivity, so if I can find opportunities doing things I love, that’d be flippin’ awesome!


Alright fam, I think that’s all I’ve got for today. I don’t have a ton of things, but I tried. That’s what counts right? I always need to find things that make me happy and hold on tight to them, and that’s essentially the purpose of these #ThingsILoveFriday posts. I hope you enjoyed the read. 🙂

xx – A

Happy. Blissfully happy.

I realized something yesterday. Something amazing.

As I was finishing up my workout (courtesy of the KIC program), I started thinking about the rest of the things I had to do before I could go to bed–fold laundry, eat dinner, shower, paint my nails, tidy up, things like that. I got this warm feeling inside me, and I couldn’t quite place what it was until later. I was literally standing in the shower when it hit me: now, in this moment, is the happiest I have been in so long. Longer than I can remember. In that moment, I realized I am the least stressed, least dependant, most healthy, and happiest I have been in years. Not weeks. Not months. Years. I wish I was exaggerating about that too, but sadly, I am not.

This realization hit me like a freaking wall and it kind of shook me to my core. All of the things that used to stress me out regularly are no longer a part of my life, whether they were school-related, money-related, people-related, or whatever else. They’re no longer an issue. My life has gone from something I didn’t necessarily have full control over, to one that I am so proud to call totally and completely mine.
Don’t get me wrong, I still stress over stuff all the time, but the things I stress about are things I can control. So I fix them. I work through all of the things stressing me out until the stress is gone. I still stress about money, but working full-time makes that stress manageable compared to when I was in college and having less than $100 in my account was standard. I support myself, I control my life, I do the things I want to do and avoid the things I don’t, I have an amazing routine, and I. Am. Happy.

For so long, I struggled with pretty bad depression and anxiety (I still do), but I am getting a handle on those things now. The depression has gone from something I dealt with daily to something that just pops up every now and then. But I know how to handle it now. I know what to do to right myself and move past it. Anxiety is something I feel I will always deal with, but I’ve reduced the number of things in my life that cause anxiety, so I have a good handle on that as well. Guys, I have an actual handle on my life now. It feels amazing. I have so many things going for me, I can’t help but feel blessed.

Honestly, I owe part of this emotional success to a workout routine. I maintained my own routine for about a month before I joined KIC, and things have only gone up since joining. The community I am a part of is SO INSPIRING. It feels so good and so empowering to be a part of it. Working out hard helps me to keep my stress levels at a manageable level, as well as release those fantastic happy endorphins that I love.

I am living my life for me. No one else. Right now, in this moment, I am the best version of myself I have been in a long time. I am so proud of how far I have come.

xx – A

P.S. I dyed my hair pink and I want it to stay forever. And yes I was snapping and driving, but I was stuck in traffic. So it’s okay. 🙂

 

Things I Love Friday

So, I was scrolling around on WordPress’s discover page, looking through “fitness” tagged things, and I stumbled upon a blog post by Deborah Mary. Her blog post inspired me to write about something similar. I’m in a weirdly good mood today (ok, it isn’t actually that weird, considering it is Friday), so even though I blogged yesterday, I decided I wanted to do another one today. I think implementing a “Things I Love Friday” would be a fun addition to my regular (albeit inconsistently themed) blogging.
So here goes, let me tell ya about the things I’m lovin’ today. 🙂

Things I’m loving this Friday:

  • Thursday dinner and happy hour with amazing people. (Of course we did Sake Bombs, I can’t even deny it, so here’s video evidence.)
    I had a kind of down day on Wednesday, so when my friend asked if I wanted to meet up for drinks after work I couldn’t say yes fast enough. There’s not many things that can cheer you up quite as good as some quality, stress-free time with your friends. 🙂

  • Exercising!!! More specifically, squeezing in a great/killer workout before going out and meeting aforementioned friends for sushi and drinks.
    I’ve been running a lot more lately, and as I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, I’ve come to love the active life quite a lot! Yesterday’s workout consisted of a 3/4 mile run, followed by another 3/4 of a mile of intervals. 30 seconds of a stationary exercise (squats, lunges, etc.), 30 seconds of fast running, a 30 second walk, then repeat. I did that and by the time I was almost done, I was dying.
    I felt great after my workout, and I had just enough time afterwards to rinse off, touch up my makeup, throw my hair in a bun, and head to dinner/drinks! It made for a great start to the rest of the evening!

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  • Family visits. 🙂
    My mom, dad, and brother are all coming to visit me this weekend, and I am SO EXCITED. We have a whole day of activities planned tomorrow, and I can’t wait! They’re even bringing our dog, Reagan. (She’s a German Shepard, so obviously that is great news!!)

  • Poetry books by Erin Hanson are another favorite of mine right now as well. Her poetry follows a rhyming scheme, and I am obsessed with it. I also like that the poems are really long, because I have another poetry book that has primarily short poems, and it’s not as satisfying to read as this one. I’m reading a few poems each day (since they’re so long) and I have yet to finish the book, so that’s pretty awesome. This is her first book, but I have 2 more coming in this weekend. I’m very excited about them!

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  • Home Chef meals! My mom sponsors my newfound love for cooking through her provision of two great meals for me every Wednesday! They come in, I put the ingredients in the fridge, and cook both meals (2 servings each) within a week of getting them. Each recipe has a different “cook by” date, so I cook the one that will go bad sooner, first. (For example, this week I cooked my dish with shrimp first, since shrimp doesn’t last long.) It’s one of my favorite things ever, and I love having something to look forward to every Wednesday. 🙂 It’s absolutely fantastic, and I cannot even express to my mom how grateful for these meals I am. I’m learning a lot about cooking, as well as accumulating a nice assortment of different recipes I can cook again.
    If anyone’s interested in signing up, here’s their website. I highly recommend. The recipes are easy enough for a novice (which I am), and the food is fantastic. Below is a pic of some Ranch Chicken Quesadillas I made a few weeks ago, and OH MAN. THEY WERE AMAZING.

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  • The last thing I’m loving this Friday, is having a clean apartment. 🙂
    Is that a weird thing to love? No, right? I try to do at least one thing a day to maintain the cleanliness of my (already very clean) apartment. I am a clean person–I put things away immediately when I’m done with it, I never leave dirty dishes in the sink, I don’t have clutter anywhere and am altogether very organized, BUT I still have to clean. By “clean” I mean vacuuming, sweeping, swiffering, wiping down surfaces, dusting, doing laundry, cleaning the litter box, etc.
    This week, I did all of those things (except dusting) in my free time after work. Last night alone, I folded laundry, swept, swiffered, and vacuumed. The night before, I cleaned the litter box and swept around it and put sheets in the washing machine. I also watered all of the many many plants on my balcony a couple times this week.
    Doing things like that to maintain the appearance and cleanliness of my apartment makes me really happy to come home every day. It also makes me proud of where I live. 🙂

Anyways, there’s my first “Things I Love Friday.” Let me know your thoughts. I had fun with this blog, so I hope it’s even just slightly entertaining to read. (I might have rambled a bit too much at times, though.) ((Whoops.))

xx – A

Workin’ on my Fitness (& Stuff)

Lately things in my life seem like they’ve been extra insane. This week at work has actually been insane with my daily duties (lol) and the implementation of new tasks for my team and I. It’s been a lot to wrap my mind around,  and I’ve hardly had any time to write poetry down, much less blog. And I’ve been feeling particularly uninspired regarding what exactly to blog about. I told myself I’d start typing and see what happens..so here I am. Typing. Waiting.

Since my poetry time has been cut down by work’s business, my stress relief primarily comes from working out daily. I think I’m honestly getting addicted to working out. It’s the only thing that makes me feel like, good about myself at the end of the day. Every new years, I never really do the whole “resolution” thing, I always just tell myself to improve myself that year in some way, shape, or form. It’s been pretty successful so far in the few years since I started that particular strategy.

2015 – The first year I did it, I straightened my teeth, transferred to a different college that was better for me, and finally found a major that I love.
2016 – The second year, I made new friends who have accepted me into their friend group as one of their own (they’ve been friends since like, 7th grade) and finally had a very happy social life. Along with being more fulfilled in that aspect, I started playing tennis again VERY frequently and therefore, got into amazing shape.
2017 – The following year, I lived my life to its fullest in many different ways. I traveled more, had more experiences, did well in my classes, graduated, and spent a lot of time with friends.
2018 – This year, I’ve decided I need to focus on me more. I need to become more sound in body and mind. I stopped playing tennis about 6 months ago for reasons I don’t really want to discuss, but now, working out is my release. I’d like to be more comfortable on my own and I want to succeed in my personal endeavors.

This dependency (?) on working out kind of revealed itself to me yesterday. I didn’t really get a chance to do an actual workout, and at the end of the day, I felt really really sad. I was active, I just didn’t do an actual workout workout. Y’know? I spent about 30 minutes doing very basic yoga and then trying to re-learn how to do a headstand (which made my back very sore, so that’s good).
I just am going to try to do more than what I did yesterday, every day. No matter what. No excuses.No complaints. I’m going to try to push myself harder than I ever have before. I need to. (And, I don’t have a reason not to, you know?)

But I don’t know, guys. I’m still not sure what this blog is about. I guess it’s about working out? My goal is to become the best version of myself that I can be. I’m going to get back into tennis, since that was always something I loved to do. I want to workout at least 5 days a week, but ideally more (like 6-7). It makes me feel good mentally and physically, and obviously I like feeling good. Who freakin’ doesn’t?!

I’m sorry that you just read the ramblings of a crazy lady. I’m out of thoughts right now. 😦 If anyone wants to hear about anything in particular, please just let me know. If not, I’ll continue doing what I’m doing, I guess. (But really, what am I doing?)

xx – A

P.S. I’m including some workout pics because why the hell not?

Poetry

Alright, so it’s been a minute since I’ve blogged. Things have been a bit chaotic lately; I’ve been keeping busier during work and then working out after work, so that hasn’t left much time for blogging. (I usually do my blogging while at work, since I usually have some breaks during the day once I’ve caught up or gotten ahead in the things I need to do.)

So, I’ve decided I really wanna tell y’all about my newest coping mechanism when my thoughts are completely overwhelming me. 

It all started when I was getting really interested in quotes and things of that nature. I had this pretty journal at my desk that I wasn’t using at all because, quite frankly, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to use it for. It wasn’t good for work notes or things like that. Then it hit me–I wanted to start writing quotes in it. So i started doing exactly that. I would search the internet for quotes (usually Pinterest) and when I found one that kind of spoke to me emotionally, I would write it down. I kept it to one quote per page so as to not make it look too cluttered. But after doing that for a few quotes, I wasn’t satisfied with what I was finding. It wasn’t deep enough. That led to me stumbling upon and falling in love with poetry. Man, have I gotten myself addicted to reading the beautiful, eloquent words that someone else writes that always seem to explain how I’m feeling better than I can explain myself.

I filled that notebook that same day, writing one poem per page (front and back) and realized I would need a new notebook very soon. I had stumbled upon my very own therapy. The following night, I found a notebook in my apartment that would suit my needs perfectly and started filling that one as well. One thing led to another, and next thing I know, I have filled 3 notebooks completely with poetry. I used a composition book one day because I was at work and that’s all I could get my hands on at the time, and I really needed my therapy that day.

Now, I’m not writing my own poetry or anything, I’m finding poems that speak to me, and writing them down. I feel like I understand it so much more deeply when I have to actually write it down–I love it so much!

So now that I’ve explained my recent obsession/therapy/passion whatever you want to call it, I’d like to share some of my favorite poet’s poetry with you guys. As I wrote and wrote, I found that there were certain people that I was enjoying more frequently and have since gravitated to their work.

My favorite poets are:
– e.h. (Erin Hanson)
– r.h. Sin
– rupi kaur
– atticus
– bridgett devoue
– nikita gill
– r.m. drake

Currently, my absolute favorite is Erin Hanson. The rhyming used just speaks to me. I’m going to attach a picture of my favorite poem of her’s below. She has a ton, so choosing a favorite has been difficult, but I find myself coming back to this one repeatedly. It’s just so profound! Below her, I’ll attach some poems I like by all of the other poets just so you can check them out. I hope you enjoy reading these, because I sure as hell do.

It’s so therapeutic.

xx – A
e.h.r.h. Sinrupi kauratticusbridgett devouenikita gillr.m. drake