Workin’ on my Fitness (& Stuff)

Lately things in my life seem like they’ve been extra insane. This week at work has actually been insane with my daily duties (lol) and the implementation of new tasks for my team and I. It’s been a lot to wrap my mind around,  and I’ve hardly had any time to write poetry down, much less blog. And I’ve been feeling particularly uninspired regarding what exactly to blog about. I told myself I’d start typing and see what happens..so here I am. Typing. Waiting.

Since my poetry time has been cut down by work’s business, my stress relief primarily comes from working out daily. I think I’m honestly getting addicted to working out. It’s the only thing that makes me feel like, good about myself at the end of the day. Every new years, I never really do the whole “resolution” thing, I always just tell myself to improve myself that year in some way, shape, or form. It’s been pretty successful so far in the few years since I started that particular strategy.

2015 – The first year I did it, I straightened my teeth, transferred to a different college that was better for me, and finally found a major that I love.
2016 – The second year, I made new friends who have accepted me into their friend group as one of their own (they’ve been friends since like, 7th grade) and finally had a very happy social life. Along with being more fulfilled in that aspect, I started playing tennis again VERY frequently and therefore, got into amazing shape.
2017 – The following year, I lived my life to its fullest in many different ways. I traveled more, had more experiences, did well in my classes, graduated, and spent a lot of time with friends.
2018 – This year, I’ve decided I need to focus on me more. I need to become more sound in body and mind. I stopped playing tennis about 6 months ago for reasons I don’t really want to discuss, but now, working out is my release. I’d like to be more comfortable on my own and I want to succeed in my personal endeavors.

This dependency (?) on working out kind of revealed itself to me yesterday. I didn’t really get a chance to do an actual workout, and at the end of the day, I felt really really sad. I was active, I just didn’t do an actual workout workout. Y’know? I spent about 30 minutes doing very basic yoga and then trying to re-learn how to do a headstand (which made my back very sore, so that’s good).
I just am going to try to do more than what I did yesterday, every day. No matter what. No excuses.No complaints. I’m going to try to push myself harder than I ever have before. I need to. (And, I don’t have a reason not to, you know?)

But I don’t know, guys. I’m still not sure what this blog is about. I guess it’s about working out? My goal is to become the best version of myself that I can be. I’m going to get back into tennis, since that was always something I loved to do. I want to workout at least 5 days a week, but ideally more (like 6-7). It makes me feel good mentally and physically, and obviously I like feeling good. Who freakin’ doesn’t?!

I’m sorry that you just read the ramblings of a crazy lady. I’m out of thoughts right now. 😦 If anyone wants to hear about anything in particular, please just let me know. If not, I’ll continue doing what I’m doing, I guess. (But really, what am I doing?)

xx – A

P.S. I’m including some workout pics because why the hell not?

Girl’s Weekend

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has those weeks where NOTHING seems to go right, right? That’s how this past week was for me. It was rough, and I was miserable for them majority of it. I just felt like I was getting bad news after bad news and even if something good happened, it felt like the bad stuff overshadowed it.

On Friday, my mom drove up to San Antonio (which gave me some much needed mother-daughter time). Her primary reason for going up was to visit my grandparents (her dad and step-mom) since my grandpa’s health isn’t the greatest right now. I went with her to visit them and we had a really nice time talking and hanging out for a few hours. I forgot about the week’s sadness, but it got worse again on Friday evening when I realized the weekend had arrived and I basically had no plans. My mom had only gone up to SA for the day, so once she left it hit me–all of my friends in town (San Antonio) were busy or going out of town for the weekend. I would basically be spending the weekend alone, and that was not something I could handle emotionally.

I was talking to one of my best friends who lives in Dallas all day on Friday and I was talking about how down I felt. She suggested going up to visit her for the weekend for a girl’s weekend. So I decided to just do it. I wasn’t able to leave San Antonio until 9:30 p.m., so I didn’t arrive in Dallas until around 1:30 a.m. That didn’t matter though. My best friend and I got to hang out and catch up for a few hours and so far, the rest of the weekend has been exactly what I needed. I talked through some of the things I was frustrated about with her and it calmed me down a lot. She talked down my anxiety levels and convinced me to not worry and stress so much. I needed someone to ground me and she did it perfectly. We spent the weekend having fun and just catching up, since I hadn’t been up to visit in about a year.

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We went out on Saturday (because that’s what 22-year-olds do) and we had an absolute BLAST. I hadn’t had that much fun going out in a long time (despite the fact that we went home early). Both of us looked at each other around midnight and we realized we were ready to go home, so we got pizza, and went back to her apartment to watch some tv. We were in bed by 2 a.m., and if that’s not actual life goals, then I don’t know what is. (I love to have fun, but I really love to sleep). Since we were spending quality time together and were having so much fun, I took almost zero pictures from that night, but here’s a little shot from that night before we left her apartment.

Now that it’s Sunday, and the stresses from this past week are behind me now, I feel so much better about everything. I’m still stressing about not having a job yet, but I’m doing all I can to make that happen. This “Girl’s Weekend” has reminded me that I need to just step back from all the things that are driving me crazy every once in a while and just enjoy the little things, like quality time with a life-long friend. It’s amazing how therapeudic getting away from everything that’s stressing you out for a bit can be.

I had actually just sat down to job hunt some more, when my best friend suggested blogging about this weekend. I wasn’t sure what to write, but I figured it’d come to me as I wrote. (Spoiler alert: it totally did.) So yeah, friendly reminder to anyone who happens to read this: don’t underestimate the power of good company and a good time to help you get over all the stuff that’s driving you crazy and bringing you down.

xx -A