Memorial Day

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Okay, who else has had a relatively chaotic week? The short week resulting from the long weekend is great, don’t get me wrong, but there’s just so much to cram into a smaller period of time. It’s sort of overwhelming at times. I feel like I’m literally behind on everything because I’m missing that whole extra day. (I know I can’t be the only one that feels this way.)

For Memorial Day weekend, I went home to the coast to spend some much needed time with friends and family. Pool day at a friends on Saturday, beach day on Sunday, then pool day at my house on Monday. It was busy. (That’s not even including activities in the evenings.) There were some ups and some downs, but altogether it was a great weekend. I even got to play tennis for the first time in 8 months!!! I missed it so much!!! Having the extra time to be home was really nice and it wasn’t such a stressful trip. Usually I have very little time to do anything so my time is like, blocked off, and maintaining that schedule gets exhausting.
Also, I didn’t really take many pictures this weekend–mostly videos. So here’s just 3 random pics because why not? xx

 

This week, everything has been chaotic. Oh, one update though: YA GIRL IS OFFICIALLY A PAID FREELANCE BLOGGER. Yep, you read that right. All this blogging is finally getting me somewhere. It’s not like a big deal, and I’m not going to be “raking in the dough” or whatever, but it’s still pretty dope. 🙂 I love writing (as I’m sure y’all know), so getting to do it for money? That’s like an actual dream come true.
But anyways, back to this week. Since the week is shorter and we’re trying to close out the month of May at work, things have been insane. On top of that, a member of my team is going out on maternity leave starting Monday, so I’m picking up a lot of her markets while she’s out. I know this makes very little sense, because let’s be real, no one’s jobs make sense to anyone but the person doing the job, but just know it’s chaos.

This weekend will actually be relatively calm though, and I am grateful for that. At least, it should be calm. It’s only Friday….things could change in an instant. We have our iHeart Corporate Cup on Saturday morning–7 am call time–so that’s gonna be fun. (No sarcasm there; we get free beer and food all day.) I’m hoping all the dodgeball practicing we’ve done pays off and we do well. Who knows?!

Anyways, there’s the update on my life. There’s not really a theme on this blog, but I wasn’t really feeling any theme in particular. Next week I’m going to do a fitness-related blog though, so stay tuned for that. I’ll include some vids from this weekend below (one from each day of the weekend), so watch them if ya want!

xx – A

P.S. #NoFilter on my featured image, the weather/water was just that beautiful. (Also featuring one of my favorite puppers.)

 

 

 

 

 

Weekend Getaway

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I had been feeling down lately, and of course, my mom presented the perfect solution–a weekend vacation. Her and my aunt were planning on going to Richmond, Virginia for the weekend, and about a week and a half in advance, my mom bought me a plane ticket so I could join them.

So, “what’s in Richmond, Virginia” you might ask? Well, for starters, amazing food, beautiful buildings, American history, lush greenery, and so much more.

Of course, I wasn’t aware of that when I agreed to go, but I love traveling to new places, and this was just that–a new place. I had never really been to anywhere on the East Coast other than a few Floridian cities and NYC…both very different places. I have never gotten to experience the “Original 13 Colonies” areas, if ya know what I mean.

I was so pleasantly surprised by how fun Richmond was! I don’t think I’d ever like actively seek out going there again, but don’t get me wrong–it was amazing!

I left work a bit early on Friday and didn’t land in Richmond until around midnight that night. I ubered to the house my mom and aunt were already at and holy crap. It was SO CUTE! I’m guessing the balcony wasn’t finished when they took the pictures (below), but it was when we were there so we had that additional super cute place to lounge.

So Saturday, we woke up early, at breakfast at the cutest coffee shop around the corner called the Early Bird Biscuit Co. It was amazing. The coffee rocked, the food rocked, and the service rocked. Afterwards, we made our way to a Catholic seminar that was the primary reason for my mom and aunt going to Richmond. It was surprisingly cool, but we didn’t stay the whole time and were only there from 9:30-11am or so. (It started at 9 and ended at noon.)
Afterwards, we made our way to Carytown and ate at Sen Organic Small Plate…it was a 10/10 meal. Actually, let me just be upfront with you–every meal we had was 10/10 (if not 11/10). After filling our bellies, we shopped around the quirky shops on Cary street. Despite the rain (yes it was raining. all day.), we had a blast. The rain actually kept us from like, overheating, because I’m sure we would have had it not been raining.
Naptime was at 5 pm, and dinner was at The Boathouse at Rockett’s Landing. I tried my first East coast oysters, which was a big deal because I despise Gulf oysters. Turns out, I don’t hate all oysters, just ones from the Gulf that look like giant boogers. (Sorry not sorry.) Cocktails, mojitos, shrimp stuffed crab cakes, shrimp and grits, and bread budding were all had. All things had were amazing. That is all.

Y’all, if you’ve never gone on a segway tour of a city before, damnit, go on one next time you’re somewhere new! We went on one on Sunday morning from 10am-12pm and it was honestly one of the most fun things I’ve done in a long time. We got to see a ton of beautiful buildings and cover a ton of ground in such a short time. I highly recommend. It was beautiful and educational and the most fun ever.

Actually, that statement could be used to sum up the entirety of the weekend–beautiful, educational, and the most fun ever. Richmond did not disappoint, y’all.

I owe my mom and aunt so much for making this weekend such an amazing one–especially my mom. After all, she did drop the money randomly to pay for my flight and meals and ubers and whatnot to get there. I appreciate her and this trip so much. It was exactly what I needed. 🙂

P.S. Featured image is the view from our balcony.

xx – A

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Things I Love Friday!

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Hey friends! I’m back from a week-long little hiatus from blogging. Is it bad to say I just wasn’t feelin it?? Cause I wasn’t.

But IT’S FRIDAY! Y’all know what that means?! (It’s in the blog title–you should be able to figure this one out hehe.)
Things I Love Friday!

Alrighty, without further ado, lesss get this going. 🙂

The main thing I’m loving this Friday is that I’m traveling! I’m meeting my mom and aunt in Richmond, Virginia for a little weekend getaway. Which is dope. I’m very excited. I love to travel and I love flying in planes, so this will be great! I’ve never been to Virginia before, and I know Richmond isn’t like a HUGE deal, but it will be cool to go somewhere new for the weekend.

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Okay second thing I’m loving is colored hair. Ya girl went ahead and re-colored her hair since the pink from a few weeks ago didn’t hold very well. (I loved it so so much though, more than my current color honestly.)
I threw in some purple into my hair on Wednesday night, but y’all, it was too purple for the first 5 washes. I literally washed it 6 times after dying it, trying to get it to tone down a bit. It finally got to the color I wanted after washing it again last night.

Next up–I love summer. I love the heat and I love the sunshine and I love how optimistic everyone is during the summer. It’s always such a bright and hopeful time (compared to winter) and I never want it to end. I know it’s barely started, but I just wanna live somewhere the sun shines and it’s warm outside 365 days a year. That would make me happy. I don’t think I’ve ever actually looked forward to winter. Like ever.

Ipsy pouches!
Oh my goodness I love Ipsy pouches so much. I love getting new makeup and products to try each month, and I honestly wish I could do it more than once a month. (I would end up with a HUGE surplus of products if I did that, though.)
But this month’s puch was pretty cool–not my favorite, but pretty cool nonetheless. Along with the pouch, I got a brown eyeliner, an anti-oil mattifying stick, a light face scrub, a moisturizing balm, and a new makeup brush. The only thing I did not need was the makeup brush…I have like 30 makeup brushes already and I have my settings to where I shouldn’t receive any more. But alas, here one is.

Hmm…I’m running out of things to love…or at least, things to write about. What else have I been lovin’ this week?? It’s been kind of a rough week, so I don’t really have a lot.

Another thing I’m loving this Friday is: paydays!
Today is payday, and honestly if that’s not something to love, I don’t know what is! Fairly simple, yet totally 100% justified.

Okay, the last thing I’m loving this particular Friday is weekends spent at home. I was home this past weekend for Mother’s Day, and it was one of the most fun weekends I’ve had in a long time. Sure, there were some ups and downs, but overall, it was great. I got to spend a good amount of time with both family and friends, and it was much needed. Friday was a family day, Saturday was a friend day, and Sunday (Mother’s Day) was a primarily family day, with a little bit of friends sprinkled in. It was really nice.
I also spent roughly 6 hours in my pool on Sunday and I absolutely loved it. (I didn’t even get a sunburn either!!) I played good, old fashioned pool games with everyone and we messed around and had a great time. I absolutely loved it.
I also gave my mom a heart attack jumping from our pergola into the pool. (In my defense, it’s so fun!!) Scroll down for the vid! 🙂

Saturday’s squad!
Me and my momma
Dis my bestfraaaan
#Poolside
Me and my momma

So that’s what I’m lovin’ this Friday! Hope y’all have a great weekend! Find something you love and hold onto it. 🙂

xx – A

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Dear Momma,

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You rock. You’re one the most amazing people I have ever seen in my life. You’re more amazing than literally everyone; more than Queen Elizabeth, more than Ellen, more than Joanna Gaines, more than Prince, more than the Pope–well…maybe not more than the Pope. (I don’t think Jesus would like me saying that??) You get the point, though.
I can’t even begin to thank you for everything you’ve done for me throughout my amazing 22 years of life, but shoot, I’m going to try.

I strongly believe in the concept that not a single person out there can love you as much as your mother does. The kind of love that moms are capable of is beyond explanation and comprehension, and mom, I know that you love me more than I could even imagine. You don’t even have to say it for me to know it. (Although you do frequently–I’m just saying, I’d know regardless.)

Lately, I’ve been thinking more about how frickin’ much I appreciate you, mom. It’s insane how much I do. I know it might not seem like it sometimes, and I know I definitely didn’t show it when I was younger, but you need to know that I do. Nomatterwhat. I get snippy with you sometimes, I forget to call you back, I call you too many times while you’re in meetings, I use your credit card without asking (hehe, sorry!), I forget to say “thank you”, I do so many things that irritate you or otherwise make me seem ungrateful, but you still love me. And I love you. So much.

You’ve put everything you have into raising me, and I owe you so much for all I’ve achieved and everything I’ll ever achieve. I am the person that I am because of you. Don’t get me wrong though, dad was the best dad ever, but this is a Mother’s Day blog, so it’s all about you.

Mom,
Thank you for everything you do and have ever done for me.
Thank you for taking me to countless tennis tournaments.
Thank you for staying up late to help me with the many projects I put off until the last minute back in grade school.
Thank you for helping to pay my college tuition.
Thank you for buying me my car that I still love oh-so-much.
Thank you for always making sure I have money for food, groceries, gas, clothing, activities, and other necessities throughout my life.
Thank you for giving me a great place to live when I moved back home.
Thank you for financially supporting my Starbucks addiction (with only minimal complaints).
Thank you for not thinking I was insane each time I decided to dye my hair a different color and for going with me to the salon to make the change. (Or buying the dye when I decided to do it at home.)
Thank you for talking to me on the phone all the time because I want someone to talk to, even though you’re super busy.
Thank you for being the primary supplier of furniture in my apartment.
Thank you for giving me the tools I need to succeed (in cooking, in tennis, in fashion, in life).
Thank you for being one of my best friends.
Thank you for being the best role model a daughter could ever ask for. For being strong, empowered, smart, and insanely driven. You inspire me every single day.
Thank you for supporting me in every way possible, for motivating me, for advising me, for loving me unconditionally.
Thank you for teaching me to always try and see the bright side of every situation.
Thank you for showing me how to be compassionate.
Thank you for picking me up when I fall down and for holding me when I cry.
Thank you for showing me that even when life has completely steamrolled over you, that you can still get back up and keep going, even if doing so requires a little help.
Thank you for being my crutch when I could not bear to walk on my own.
Thank you for showing me that anything is possible, even if everyone doubts you and the odds are completely against you.
Thank you for being unapologetically you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I will never be able to say it enough.

I love you always forever. So frickin’ much.
xoxo – Anna

Now, I know it’s Mother’s Day, so my mom isn’t the only one being appreciated globally. I want to show some love for the other mothers out there and the things they have done for their kiddos. Everyone appreciates you lovely ladies as well, and you should know it. A mother’s love is unmatched; I’m pretty sure that’s basically a scientific fact (Source: me.science.com). Their ability to give and give and give without a second thought astounds me.

I struggled so much with what to ask people so that I could shift the focus from my mom, to other moms. I wanted it to be something that would provoke a heartfelt response but not give me a bunch of similar responses. Took me 2 weeks to figure it out, but I think I came up with something that’s just right.

What is one thing that your mom does that never fails to make you smile?

“Bring my cat into my room with her
She puts Bandit on me in the mornings”
-Erika

“When she talks to my dogs in a different voice
Well it’s always in a different voice
But you know what I mean”
-Kurtis

“I have hard mornings.
Especially on Monday’s. For some reason, especially in the mornings, I have a hard time being happy and remembering why I’m doing what I’m doing or why I am where I am.
But every single morning without fail my mom sends me those gifs you can send through iMessage. One is always inspirational and the other is funny.
It know it seems insignificant, but I really look forward to those every single morning. And somehow someway she always times it so that I get them right as I’m standing, waiting for the long (dreaded) subway ride before work. It reminds me that no matter what type of day I’m about to have, she believes in me enough to know I can get through anything., Most days it makes me believe too.
Now they’re so important to me I feel like my days would be off without them.”
-Mariela

“Any time she tells me how much she loves me.”
-Marshall

“When she calls just to ask how my day went. In my profession, I hear kids say they never talk to their mom or don’t have a great relationship with them which makes my heart hurt. My mom has inspired me in so many ways and I don’t know where I would be without her. The fact that she takes the time out of her busy life to check on me and listen to me vent or ramble, means the world to me.”
-Lauren

“She always sends me texts before exams to wish me luck 🙂 ”
-Tessa

“I f**king love my mom and everything she does but her laugh is contagious”
-Eric

“Anytime I go home, she always makes the grocery list around me and has all of my favorite things/makes my favorite meals”
-Ashlee

“Since I was little all the way till now. If I happen to lay on the couch or fall asleep. She will bring a blanket and put it on me and kiss my head.”
-Thomas

Shoutout to all the little things that moms do that just brighten their kids’ days. They might not think of it as a big deal, but to others, it means the world.

Lastly, y’all know how much I love poetry, so I can’t resist including some. The fact that my favorite poet has a poem written for moms makes it all the more perfect. Enjoy.

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Happy Mother’s Day!

xx – A

P.S. I wanna thank my best friend up in the Big Apple for helping me with this blog–it wouldn’t have been nearly this great were you not a part of the production process. Thank you, Mars! 🙂

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Social Media Cleanse

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Has anyone had the desire to delete their social media accounts and just kind of take a break from it all? I feel like we all have had that desire at some point, but the amount of people who actually act on it is a much smaller number. Well, I’m officially part of that number.

I realized something a while ago–I have a social media addiction. It’s kind of a dependency, really. I rely on the validation I get when I post things, and I’ve realized how bad that is. I need to take a step back from social media as a whole. So, after a week of chewing on the idea, I decided to get started. I need to post on social media because it makes me happy, NOT because I want validation.

downloadThe first thing to go was going to be Twitter. “That’ll be the easiest,” I thought to myself. So last Tuesday, I deleted my Twitter app. I didn’t delete my entire account because 1) my blogs are shared to Twitter and 2) my Instagram posts are shared to Twitter. I have enough willpower to keep myself off of it for a while. (I’m not trying to cut social media altogether, I just need to take a step back.) So far, not being on Twitter hasn’t been so bad. Boy, I wasn’t prepared for how difficult the next step would be though–Snapchat.

unnamedSnapchat was (and still is) my main social media issue. I always told myself I couldn’t delete it because “streaks”, but when I realized I had no streaks I cared about, deleting it became a possibility. I actually wanted to delete Snapchat before I considered deleting Twitter, but decided to start small. On Monday I started chewing on the idea of deleting Snapchat, but I didn’t take action on that thought until Friday evening. I figured if I was busy all weekend, the first few days might be a little easier.

I was wrong.

(Disclaimer: I didn’t delete the entire app because I don’t want to have to redownload the thousands of pictures I have saved on there again. I also wanted to have access to those pictures while not being on the app. I just turned off all notifications and turned off cellular data for the app. That’s been good enough for now.)

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Y’all, I can’t even tell you how many times I came THIS CLOSE to reactivating it. Oh my god I came so close. I actually have a confession, I reactivated it once on Saturday to see who had seen the “I’m getting off Snap” snap that I had posted. I didn’t open a single snap I had received over the course of 22 hours, nor did I watch a single story…but I still cheated a little. I feel a little guilty, but I’m not perfect!

Today marks 3 days without Snapchat, 6 days without Twitter, and honestly I’m feeling great. I would delete Facebook and Instagram, but my KIC workout group communicates via Facebook, and I need Instagram for self-promotion related aspects. The fact that I’m cutting back so much is a huge deal for me though. I’m pretty damn proud of myself for taking this step, too. Like shit, no one told me I needed to do this, I told myself! I decided on my own that this was the healthiest decision I could make for myself right now. I’m glad I’m doing it, even though it’s not fun.

It’s flipping hard. Y’all, I shit you not, I had a dream on Saturday night that I was using Snapchat. Like, who even does that?! That is not normal.

I’m sort of dreading the upcoming week though. I’m worried that I’ll get bored at work and crave it. If that happens, I’ll probably write a blog that might not even get posted (because I have drafts on drafts that I never end up posting). As of now, I’m going to try to make it a whole week without getting on Snapchat, and I’m a little ashamed that that will be the longest I’ve gone without it since downloading it back in 2012/13. That’s flipping insane.

Y’all, I literally would just get bored and instead of doing something productive, I would check Snapchat. I’d check SnapMaps, chat it up with people, watch stories, read articles on there, go through old pics (and get bad nostalgia), and do whatever else you do on Snapchat. Don’t get me wrong, all that would be fine in moderation, but ya girl don’t know how to moderate. I was checking Snap like way. too. often. And I was oversharing. I felt like everything I did needed to be posted to Snap.
Going out? Snap it.
Cooking dinner? Snap it.
Pool day? Snap it.
Working out? Snap it.
Like dude (@me), chill. No one cares.
My problem had escalated over the past few months, so I decided it was time to actually do something about it.

Has anyone else done something like this? Not because they wanted to, but because they needed to? If so, let me know how it went! Did it help you? Did you go back to being just as addicted after allowing yourself to get back on? I’m curious! I want this to work out for the better for me. I want to be better.

xx – A

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Things I Love Friday

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Second Edition. (Check out the First Edition here.)

I’ve actually been in a pretty glum mood all week, which is exactly why I think I need to write this blog. I should take a step back and focus on the little things that make me happy.

  1.  KIC workouts. (Read more here.)
    Sometimes, my life seems to spin completely out of my control, and the only way I’ve found to regain that control is via working out. The girls in the KIC group are so supportive and they motivate me so much. Aside from them, the killer workouts that I smash out are such a crucial way for me to relieve some stress, so I would probably be completely lost without them. The pic below is a few moments after extensive planking and I was on the verge of death. (I loved it though.)
    img_5963

  2. Cat birthday parties. (Yes, I’m serious.)
    On Wednesday, my friend hosted a “birthday party” for her cat…it was mostly people though. There was two cats. One was mine. There was like 8 girls drinking wine, eating cheese and crackers, and watching two cats hiss at each other. (Our cats are not friends.) It was amazing. Girl’s night to the max. Hey, any reason is a good enough reason to throw a dinner party, right?
    Yes, we actually sang “Happy Birthday” to a cat, and yes it was as great as it seems.

  3. Home cooked meals. 
    I’ve done a lot of cooking this week…more than usual. Check out my first #ThingsILoveFriday to learn about how I get these awesome meals to cook–it’s the fifth topic on my bulleted list.
    On Monday night, I made Pesto Chicken Pizza. (It was amazing, in case you were wondering.) On Tuesday I made Creamy Piccata Chicken with baked brussel sprouts and carrots. It was tasty, but not amazing–not as satisfying of a meal. Super healthy, though. On Thursday night, I made BBQ Shrimp Pizza. Another amazing one. (That’s what I’m having for lunch today.) I wish I could eat it for forever.
    Sadly, I only have a picture of my first meal of the week, but oh man, it was amazing. img_5972

  4. Rain.
    I love the sunshine and I love the rain, but anything in between is not okay with me. (Black or white, essentially.) That’s why I’ve been gloomy this week–it’s been cloudy but not raining all week. It puts me in a mood. But today, today it is finally raining and I love it. I am hoping that the sky gets all this water stuff out of its system today though so I can have a pool day tomorrow. #Sunshine
    Here’s a blurry pic of rain on a window. It’s not particularly pretty or anything, but rain! (I’ll try to update with a better pic later.)
    img_5973

  5. New ideas.
    Vague enough? LOL allow me to elaborate. 🙂 I realized I have free time at work after I finish my tasks for the day (which is why I blog during the day). I was insanely bored the other day, and I realized something–if I blog on my own blog a few times a week, why can’t I do the same for someone else? So now, during my free time, I’m looking for opportunities (paid or unpaid) to blog about anything under the sun for anyone who will let me. It’s nothing special, but it’s something to work toward and I like having goals. I like maintaining maximum levels of productivity, so if I can find opportunities doing things I love, that’d be flippin’ awesome!

Alright fam, I think that’s all I’ve got for today. I don’t have a ton of things, but I tried. That’s what counts right? I always need to find things that make me happy and hold on tight to them, and that’s essentially the purpose of these #ThingsILoveFriday posts. I hope you enjoyed the read. 🙂

xx – A

Assumptions

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You know what they say….when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me! (Bad joke? Oh well!)
download.jpg

I was in the mood for a little blog, but my dilemma was that I really have nothing to write about right now. So, I did what any normal person would do in this situation–I googled. (I now have a nice long list of blog prompts written down for future moments when I’m motivated without inspiration.)
One prompt that kind of stuck with me (partly because it was highlighted on the page, partly because I liked the idea of it) was “Write about the assumptions people make about you.” (I linked to the inspo website I found.)

You would assume that I don’t have many assumptions made about me. I am an upper-middle class, blonde, white female. Fairly standard, I agree. I don’t have obvious race related things assumed about me, and I am in no way trying to demean those assumptions, I just want to talk about the irritating assumptions I have noticed that people have made about me.

The first thing that came to my head when I think about assumptions made about me is “dumb blonde”. If you’re blonde, at least once in your life, someone has made a joke about you being a dumb blonde. I can’t be the only one who hates this. My hair color has no relation to my IQ. Never has, never will. I am smart, clever, quick-witted, and everything opposite of being a “dumb blonde.” Stop insulting people’s intelligence by basing your assumptions of them on their hair color. It’s stupid.
Another thing, you can absolutely be pretty AND smart. It’s a thing. Just because you care about your appearance and you put time into how you look, does not make you less intelligent. (It should make you look more intelligent honestly, because everyone knows appearances matter.) This kind of ties into the “blonde” thing, but it’s so true. Again, I’m sick of not being taken seriously based on how I look. It’s so frustrating.

Moons

Now, for the sake of not ranting throughout the entirety of this blog, I’m going to convert to list form!! (I could honestly write a 3,000 word blog about this topic, for real!)

Things people assume about me:
  • That, because I’m middle class, I don’t struggle with money/finances. Wrong.
  • That, because I’m thin, I don’t eat. Wrong.
  • That, because I’m thin, I don’t work out and am not strong. Wrong.
  • That I live this “perfect life” based on what’s seen on social media. Wrong.
  • That, because I care about how I look, I’m shallow (or something). Wrong.
  • That, because I have and express feelings, I am weak. Wrong.
  • That, because I’m a woman, I am not as good at something. Wrong.
  • That, because I sometimes show off my body, I’m a slut. Wrong.
  • That, because my hair is an odd color (i.e. pink), I don’t deserve as much respect. Wrong.
  • That, because I’m young, I’m naïve and easily manipulated.
  • That, because I’m blonde, I am ditzy. (Had to say it again.) Wrong.
  • That, because I dress and look nice, I’m weak and can’t handle myself. Wrong. If I tell you I know how to play a sport, don’t laugh and try to explain to me that “it hurts when you get hit”. I know. I’ve played it.
  • That, because you’re a male, you know more than me. (See above.) Wrong.
  • That, because I’m being nice to you, I’m flirting. Wrong.
  • That, because you made assumptions, you think you know me. Wrong.

I’m sure some of you can relate to these assumptions being made about you, as well as plenty others that I’m sure have been made. It’s frustrating.

Hopefully this was even remotely interesting? LOL. Thanks for reading!

xx – A

 

 

Happy. Blissfully happy.

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I realized something yesterday. Something amazing.

As I was finishing up my workout (courtesy of the KIC program), I started thinking about the rest of the things I had to do before I could go to bed–fold laundry, eat dinner, shower, paint my nails, tidy up, things like that. I got this warm feeling inside me, and I couldn’t quite place what it was until later. I was literally standing in the shower when it hit me: now, in this moment, is the happiest I have been in so long. Longer than I can remember. In that moment, I realized I am the least stressed, least dependant, most healthy, and happiest I have been in years. Not weeks. Not months. Years. I wish I was exaggerating about that too, but sadly, I am not.

This realization hit me like a freaking wall and it kind of shook me to my core. All of the things that used to stress me out regularly are no longer a part of my life, whether they were school-related, money-related, people-related, or whatever else. They’re no longer an issue. My life has gone from something I didn’t necessarily have full control over, to one that I am so proud to call totally and completely mine.
Don’t get me wrong, I still stress over stuff all the time, but the things I stress about are things I can control. So I fix them. I work through all of the things stressing me out until the stress is gone. I still stress about money, but working full-time makes that stress manageable compared to when I was in college and having less than $100 in my account was standard. I support myself, I control my life, I do the things I want to do and avoid the things I don’t, I have an amazing routine, and I. Am. Happy.

For so long, I struggled with pretty bad depression and anxiety (I still do), but I am getting a handle on those things now. The depression has gone from something I dealt with daily to something that just pops up every now and then. But I know how to handle it now. I know what to do to right myself and move past it. Anxiety is something I feel I will always deal with, but I’ve reduced the number of things in my life that cause anxiety, so I have a good handle on that as well. Guys, I have an actual handle on my life now. It feels amazing. I have so many things going for me, I can’t help but feel blessed.

Honestly, I owe part of this emotional success to a workout routine. I maintained my own routine for about a month before I joined KIC, and things have only gone up since joining. The community I am a part of is SO INSPIRING. It feels so good and so empowering to be a part of it. Working out hard helps me to keep my stress levels at a manageable level, as well as release those fantastic happy endorphins that I love.

I am living my life for me. No one else. Right now, in this moment, I am the best version of myself I have been in a long time. I am so proud of how far I have come.

xx – A

P.S. I dyed my hair pink and I want it to stay forever. And yes I was snapping and driving, but I was stuck in traffic. So it’s okay. 🙂

 

Another Fitness Post

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Alright guys, this is something that I feel passionately about, so Imma write about it. Try and stop me! (Jk don’t do that, I really hope y’all enjoy fitness stuff.) My two passions lately have been poetry and working out because they’re both outlets for my stress and emotions. Today’s focus and appreciation goes to working out, because hot damn I love working out so much. ALSO, my most recent fitness investment has me excited AF to get home after work and work out!

My recent struggle, although I have been consistently been working out 5-6 days a week, is figuring out what to do in my workouts. Making your own workouts is hard, guys! So I had kind of been trying to do my own thing, and it had been working for me so far, but I knew that sometime soon, my workouts would stop being beneficial for me because they would all be so similar to one another. I’m not a fitness guru, I don’t specialize in workouts or anything, and I have no idea how to create a variety of workouts that will tone my whole body. My past fitness came from playing tennis all the time but I don’t have that luxury anymore. The friend I would always play with got left behind when I moved away after college, and I haven’t been able to find a replacement for him here. (I also don’t even really have as much time as I did before to commit to tennis, even though I really really miss it.)

Anyways, I had been considering signing up for this workout group created by a model I follow and look up to based out of Australia named Stephanie Claire Smith. (I’ve linked to her Insta account there so you can see how much of a badass she is.) Steph and her best friend, Laura Henshaw created this fitness group called Keep It Cleaner (or KIC). This is a fitness program for ladies (or guys), and Steph and Laura provide workouts, recipes, meal planning, meditations, and motivation to those in the group! There’s a private Facebook page for those who have paid the $20/month entrance fee, and once you’re in, you have access to thousands of other girls whose fitness goals parallel yours. You can get inspiration, support, ideas, and so much more from the ladies in this group.

I had been considering joining this group for a while now, and yesterday I finally said ‘fuck it’ and took the plunge. I’m motivated. I’m trying to get fit. It’s a good price. So why not?

Steph Claire Smith
Laura Henshaw
Steph Claire Smith
Keep It Cleaner!
Steph Claire Smith (right) and Laura Henshaw.

Guys, I can’t even explain how excited about this I am already. I did my first KIC workout yesterday, and I was dripping in sweat afterwards. It felt so satisfying! There was a combination of shadow boxing (surprisingly hard) and body weight exercises/movements. Today I’m sore, but not insanely, painfully sore–just the perfect amount of sore. I know I’ve only been doing this for one day, but I’ve honestly never been more excited about working out before in my life. I can’t wait to see where this takes me. 🙂

So there ya have it! That’s my current fitness journey! I’m so so excited to see my results in the coming weeks/months. (#summerbod)

 

Things I Love Friday

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So, I was scrolling around on WordPress’s discover page, looking through “fitness” tagged things, and I stumbled upon a blog post by Deborah Mary. Her blog post inspired me to write about something similar. I’m in a weirdly good mood today (ok, it isn’t actually that weird, considering it is Friday), so even though I blogged yesterday, I decided I wanted to do another one today. I think implementing a “Things I Love Friday” would be a fun addition to my regular (albeit inconsistently themed) blogging.
So here goes, let me tell ya about the things I’m lovin’ today. 🙂

Things I’m loving this Friday:

  • Thursday dinner and happy hour with amazing people. (Of course we did Sake Bombs, I can’t even deny it, so here’s video evidence.)
    I had a kind of down day on Wednesday, so when my friend asked if I wanted to meet up for drinks after work I couldn’t say yes fast enough. There’s not many things that can cheer you up quite as good as some quality, stress-free time with your friends. 🙂
  • Exercising!!! More specifically, squeezing in a great/killer workout before going out and meeting aforementioned friends for sushi and drinks.
    I’ve been running a lot more lately, and as I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, I’ve come to love the active life quite a lot! Yesterday’s workout consisted of a 3/4 mile run, followed by another 3/4 of a mile of intervals. 30 seconds of a stationary exercise (squats, lunges, etc.), 30 seconds of fast running, a 30 second walk, then repeat. I did that and by the time I was almost done, I was dying.
    I felt great after my workout, and I had just enough time afterwards to rinse off, touch up my makeup, throw my hair in a bun, and head to dinner/drinks! It made for a great start to the rest of the evening!

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  • Family visits. 🙂
    My mom, dad, and brother are all coming to visit me this weekend, and I am SO EXCITED. We have a whole day of activities planned tomorrow, and I can’t wait! They’re even bringing our dog, Reagan. (She’s a German Shepard, so obviously that is great news!!)
  • Poetry books by Erin Hanson are another favorite of mine right now as well. Her poetry follows a rhyming scheme, and I am obsessed with it. I also like that the poems are really long, because I have another poetry book that has primarily short poems, and it’s not as satisfying to read as this one. I’m reading a few poems each day (since they’re so long) and I have yet to finish the book, so that’s pretty awesome. This is her first book, but I have 2 more coming in this weekend. I’m very excited about them!

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  • Home Chef meals! My mom sponsors my newfound love for cooking through her provision of two great meals for me every Wednesday! They come in, I put the ingredients in the fridge, and cook both meals (2 servings each) within a week of getting them. Each recipe has a different “cook by” date, so I cook the one that will go bad sooner, first. (For example, this week I cooked my dish with shrimp first, since shrimp doesn’t last long.) It’s one of my favorite things ever, and I love having something to look forward to every Wednesday. 🙂 It’s absolutely fantastic, and I cannot even express to my mom how grateful for these meals I am. I’m learning a lot about cooking, as well as accumulating a nice assortment of different recipes I can cook again.
    If anyone’s interested in signing up, here’s their website. I highly recommend. The recipes are easy enough for a novice (which I am), and the food is fantastic. Below is a pic of some Ranch Chicken Quesadillas I made a few weeks ago, and OH MAN. THEY WERE AMAZING.

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  • The last thing I’m loving this Friday, is having a clean apartment. 🙂
    Is that a weird thing to love? No, right? I try to do at least one thing a day to maintain the cleanliness of my (already very clean) apartment. I am a clean person–I put things away immediately when I’m done with it, I never leave dirty dishes in the sink, I don’t have clutter anywhere and am altogether very organized, BUT I still have to clean. By “clean” I mean vacuuming, sweeping, swiffering, wiping down surfaces, dusting, doing laundry, cleaning the litter box, etc.
    This week, I did all of those things (except dusting) in my free time after work. Last night alone, I folded laundry, swept, swiffered, and vacuumed. The night before, I cleaned the litter box and swept around it and put sheets in the washing machine. I also watered all of the many many plants on my balcony a couple times this week.
    Doing things like that to maintain the appearance and cleanliness of my apartment makes me really happy to come home every day. It also makes me proud of where I live. 🙂

Anyways, there’s my first “Things I Love Friday.” Let me know your thoughts. I had fun with this blog, so I hope it’s even just slightly entertaining to read. (I might have rambled a bit too much at times, though.) ((Whoops.))

xx – A

Workin’ on my Fitness (& Stuff)

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Lately things in my life seem like they’ve been extra insane. This week at work has actually been insane with my daily duties (lol) and the implementation of new tasks for my team and I. It’s been a lot to wrap my mind around,  and I’ve hardly had any time to write poetry down, much less blog. And I’ve been feeling particularly uninspired regarding what exactly to blog about. I told myself I’d start typing and see what happens..so here I am. Typing. Waiting.

Since my poetry time has been cut down by work’s business, my stress relief primarily comes from working out daily. I think I’m honestly getting addicted to working out. It’s the only thing that makes me feel like, good about myself at the end of the day. Every new years, I never really do the whole “resolution” thing, I always just tell myself to improve myself that year in some way, shape, or form. It’s been pretty successful so far in the few years since I started that particular strategy.

2015 – The first year I did it, I straightened my teeth, transferred to a different college that was better for me, and finally found a major that I love.
2016 – The second year, I made new friends who have accepted me into their friend group as one of their own (they’ve been friends since like, 7th grade) and finally had a very happy social life. Along with being more fulfilled in that aspect, I started playing tennis again VERY frequently and therefore, got into amazing shape.
2017 – The following year, I lived my life to its fullest in many different ways. I traveled more, had more experiences, did well in my classes, graduated, and spent a lot of time with friends.
2018 – This year, I’ve decided I need to focus on me more. I need to become more sound in body and mind. I stopped playing tennis about 6 months ago for reasons I don’t really want to discuss, but now, working out is my release. I’d like to be more comfortable on my own and I want to succeed in my personal endeavors.

This dependency (?) on working out kind of revealed itself to me yesterday. I didn’t really get a chance to do an actual workout, and at the end of the day, I felt really really sad. I was active, I just didn’t do an actual workout workout. Y’know? I spent about 30 minutes doing very basic yoga and then trying to re-learn how to do a headstand (which made my back very sore, so that’s good).
I just am going to try to do more than what I did yesterday, every day. No matter what. No excuses.No complaints. I’m going to try to push myself harder than I ever have before. I need to. (And, I don’t have a reason not to, you know?)

But I don’t know, guys. I’m still not sure what this blog is about. I guess it’s about working out? My goal is to become the best version of myself that I can be. I’m going to get back into tennis, since that was always something I loved to do. I want to workout at least 5 days a week, but ideally more (like 6-7). It makes me feel good mentally and physically, and obviously I like feeling good. Who freakin’ doesn’t?!

I’m sorry that you just read the ramblings of a crazy lady. I’m out of thoughts right now. 😦 If anyone wants to hear about anything in particular, please just let me know. If not, I’ll continue doing what I’m doing, I guess. (But really, what am I doing?)

xx – A

P.S. I’m including some workout pics because why the hell not?

Freakin’ Poetry, Man

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“If a poem hasn’t ripped apart your soul: you haven’t experienced poetry.”
-Edgar Allen Poe

It’s such a therapeutic thing for me. I know I’ve said it before, but seriously when my mind feels like it’s spiralling inward, I just try to focus on copying down poems into a journal and it calms me. It centers me. My emotions are no longer fluctuating sporadically, but rather are at the mercy of whatever I am reading and writing in that moment. I zone out and feel whatever the poet wants me to feel, and I absolutely love it. I love it so damn much.

I cooked dinner and drank wine with a friend who is also a fan of poetry last night, and she recommended some poets for me to check out. I wasn’t a huge fan of all of them, but one stood out to me once I started doing some digging–Lang Leav. I had read some of her stuff before, but I never truly immersed myself in her work. Until today.

And holy shit, I am enamored. Her poetry is almost too emotionally powerful for me to read sometimes–it’s insane! I have actually had to sit back and close my journal a few times because I needed to take another minute or two to consider what I had just read.

Small detail, I rarely read an entire poem before I decide to write it down. I tend to read just the title and first few lines, then I start copying it down. This makes it that much more powerful as I figure out what it’s really about as I go along. Some poems take a twist that I didn’t expect, and some are exactly what I expect them to be. I am constantly baffled by poetry’s ability to fluctuate so heavily.

I also don’t just copy down every poem I see. I am actually fairly critical of the things I want to dedicate my time and energy to copying down. They have to make me feel and I have to find a way to really relate to them right now. So lately, I haven’t had any inclination whatsoever to write down any sappy love poems even though I’ve read some truly beautiful ones. They’re not what I want to read right now.

So anyways, here’s some poems that I felt like sharing today. Some are from Lang Leav and the other are from my favorite, Erin Hanson (or “e.h.”).

Enjoy!

xx – A

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More Poetry

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Sorry if this is uninteresting, it’s been such a focus in my life right now, I can’t even go a day without wanting (needing?) to read some poetry. It’s just so soothing, okay?! 

This past weekend was Easter weekend, obviously, and my mom got me the most amazing gift–a book of poems by the poet Atticus, who as you know if you read my last blog, is one of my favorites. I didn’t go through it immediately after she gave it to me, I have certain moments during the day in which I like to read poetry. Instead of me going through it, my mom offered to thumb through and read some of the poems to me, which I readily accepted. (Having poems read to you is almost as great as writing them down yourself.)

You see, the thing I love about poetry is how these simple words and short poems (or long poems) can make you feel so hard. Everyone feels them a little differently, but they can impact you so intensely and I love that about them. There was one poem my mom started reading to me that brought me to tears, another that made me laugh so hard my stomach hurt, one that made me feel strong and empowered, and another that brought in waves of nostalgia that made my chest tight. It truly amazes me how just some simple words printed on paper can have so much of an effect on me.

Throughout work today, I’ve been working on filling my fourth and largest journal with poetry that spoke to me, and I hope to have filled it by the end of the day honestly. As much as I thoroughly enjoy writing all of these poems down, I also find great pleasure in looking through them later on at the things I selected to write down. I’m even starting to remember what poems are in what books due to my constant reading of them. I think it’s safe to say I have a slight addiction to poetry, and I love it so so much.

Honestly, I wish I could even understand how this is so therapeutic to me, but it just is. So today, I really just feel like sharing some more poetry with hopes that someone else will be able to appreciate it as much as I have. Today, I’ve been gravitating primarily to Erin Hanson’s stuff, so that’s what I’m gonna share with you guys. (These aren’t my absolute favorites, but they’re what captured my heart and mind today.)

xx – A

P.S. For those of you who read my blogs, I cannot even begin to tell you how much I appreciate it. And if they do something for you, then that means everything in the world to me.

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This is one of my mom’s favorites.

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Poetry

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Alright, so it’s been a minute since I’ve blogged. Things have been a bit chaotic lately; I’ve been keeping busier during work and then working out after work, so that hasn’t left much time for blogging. (I usually do my blogging while at work, since I usually have some breaks during the day once I’ve caught up or gotten ahead in the things I need to do.)

So, I’ve decided I really wanna tell y’all about my newest coping mechanism when my thoughts are completely overwhelming me. 

It all started when I was getting really interested in quotes and things of that nature. I had this pretty journal at my desk that I wasn’t using at all because, quite frankly, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to use it for. It wasn’t good for work notes or things like that. Then it hit me–I wanted to start writing quotes in it. So i started doing exactly that. I would search the internet for quotes (usually Pinterest) and when I found one that kind of spoke to me emotionally, I would write it down. I kept it to one quote per page so as to not make it look too cluttered. But after doing that for a few quotes, I wasn’t satisfied with what I was finding. It wasn’t deep enough. That led to me stumbling upon and falling in love with poetry. Man, have I gotten myself addicted to reading the beautiful, eloquent words that someone else writes that always seem to explain how I’m feeling better than I can explain myself.

I filled that notebook that same day, writing one poem per page (front and back) and realized I would need a new notebook very soon. I had stumbled upon my very own therapy. The following night, I found a notebook in my apartment that would suit my needs perfectly and started filling that one as well. One thing led to another, and next thing I know, I have filled 3 notebooks completely with poetry. I used a composition book one day because I was at work and that’s all I could get my hands on at the time, and I really needed my therapy that day.

Now, I’m not writing my own poetry or anything, I’m finding poems that speak to me, and writing them down. I feel like I understand it so much more deeply when I have to actually write it down–I love it so much!

So now that I’ve explained my recent obsession/therapy/passion whatever you want to call it, I’d like to share some of my favorite poet’s poetry with you guys. As I wrote and wrote, I found that there were certain people that I was enjoying more frequently and have since gravitated to their work.

My favorite poets are:
– e.h. (Erin Hanson)
– r.h. Sin
– rupi kaur
– atticus
– bridgett devoue
– nikita gill
– r.m. drake

Currently, my absolute favorite is Erin Hanson. The rhyming used just speaks to me. I’m going to attach a picture of my favorite poem of her’s below. She has a ton, so choosing a favorite has been difficult, but I find myself coming back to this one repeatedly. It’s just so profound! Below her, I’ll attach some poems I like by all of the other poets just so you can check them out. I hope you enjoy reading these, because I sure as hell do.

It’s so therapeutic.

xx – A
e.h.r.h. Sinrupi kauratticusbridgett devouenikita gillr.m. drake

 

The Future

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We’ve all thought about the future; we all think about the future constantly. We think about what we’re going to do after work or school, about what we’re going to eat for dinner, or even what task we’re going to start on next after finishing the current one. Humans are creatures who are always thinking about the future; whether or not that’s a good think, I don’t know. It just is.

One thing I know for sure is the importance of creating and cultivating plans for your future to look forward to and work towards. If you’re going to school day in and day out, why are you doing it? To get a degree, yes, but what next? You need to form goals for yourself to work towards so that you have a reason for doing what you’re doing. The same goes for those who work jobs, they’re making money, but for what? Yeah, you have to pay bills and have money to live, but what else are you doing with your hard earned cash? Make plans!

Looking forward to big events is important, but it’s the little joys that we look forward to that really keeps us going. Those dinner plans you made with a friend the other day? You know? The ones you’ve been looking forward to all week? Your excitement about this one simple thing keeps your mood up, and essentially gives you something to live for. Even little things like going to the gym after work, or making it through half the day and getting to take a break and eat lunch. Little joys like this get us from one point to the next.

My favorite kind of things to look forward to though, are weekend activities or vacations. (I know I can’t be the only one!) I have this weird way of getting depressed about the future unless I have plans in the future to look forward to. Things like Saturday hikes or weekend trips to NYC are things I can plan and look forward to. Now, the NYC thing hasn’t necessarily been set in stone just yet, but it’s a goal for me to work towards. I have to save money to buy a flight to get there, and once I do that, I can have solid plans.

airplane

As someone who has an ongoing battle with depression and anxiety, I have found ways to keep myself afloat. I keep busy, and I keep looking forward. I’ll continue doing this, until I find myself in a place where I don’t have to work to make plans, they’ll just come naturally. I have been broken and beat down in so many ways, but my determination to not let life just happen to me is what’s keeping me going. I will be in charge of my life, and I refuse to let myself be controlled by life’s shitty events, and instead would rather take charge of my own life. Making plans is my way of doing that.

Do things that keep you going. Always.

xx – A

Words of Wisdom

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Who needs advice on how to handle post-graduate life?
Or just life in general? I know I do.

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Since graduating, my life has consisted of a series of drastic changes. Some of which, I elected to take on myself, some were thrust upon me, and others knocked me off my feet entirely. But here I am, still living. I decided I wanted to ask people a question regarding advice they might give to their younger selves. I came up with two options–one based around what advice they would give to themselves after graduating college, and one regarding advice they’d give to their younger self in general. Even now, as I ask people and compile quotes, the nature of my blog post changes slightly, and I can’t help but smile to myself because that embodies the exact nature of this post–change.

One of two questions will be sent to a variety of people. Hopefully someone reading this will find wisdom and solace in the words my friends and family provide (or even just smile at some of the goofier things said.)
Fair warning though, I ended up with more quotes than I intended, so you’re in for a world of advice. It’s a good read though, so I strongly urge you to read it all.

Enjoy.

If you could go back in time to when you had just graduated college and give yourself advice, what would you say?

“Enjoy life and know that what’s meant to be, will happen.” -Mariela, 22

“Live hard and travel.” -Robin, 26

“Don’t be afraid to do things on your own–get out and explore what life can be.” -Ashlee, 22

“There’s nothing wrong with not having a dream job. If at the end of the day you’re happy and your bills are paid, then what you do isn’t as important.” -Scott, 25

“Cheap beer is never the answer.” -Jake, 25

“I’d probably tell myself to pay more attention to other people. Be genuinely interested in what’s going on in their life and how they’re doing so I could help them or just know what to say to them when they needed it.” –Evan, 25

“Don’t be so defensive and fix your victim complex, the world is not out to get you. It’s your life, so live it your way to the best of YOUR ability. Play a song that’s in your heart, keep dreaming, but most importantly live long and prosper.” -Nicholas, 27 (Some content omitted for length purposes.)

“I would tell myself to be true to myself and not let a failed relationship alter my course. My first boyfriend dumped me when I was 22 and I had a hard time getting over it. Looking back, that breakup was a good thing because I wasn’t ready to be attached.” -Theresa, 55

“Not to take the first job thrown at you.” -Ryan, 24

“I would probably tell myself to be more patient about making job decisions and to put myself out there more. Don’t settle.” -Lauren, 23

“Chill the eff out. Enjoy your time, and nothing lasts forever. It will probably be a few years before you figure out what you’ll end up doing. Career wise. You will most likely stumble across it by accident. But even if you found it today, you wouldn’t be ready for it. So…enjoy the ride. That applies to in work and outside.” -Evan, 38

If you could go back in time and give yourself advice, what would you say?

“There’s no hurry. Enjoy the journey. And, stay in school! Know yourself before you become a couple…” -Janet, 51

“Not to bet money yesterday.” -Eric (currently visiting Las Vegas), 21

“Be confident in everything you do and in every decision you make.” -Wilson, 21

“Your life is short and precious. It is not to be cluttered with frivolous bullshit. Focus on things that TRULY bring you joy. Wasted time holds the heaviest guilt. If you can’t get into that book, put it down and start a new one. If an acquaintance leaves you feeling drained and ugly, limit your contact. If a hobby starts to feel like a chore, don’t do it anymore. If you don’t feel like going out, stay your ass at home. If your job treats you like a bad boyfriend, DUMP IT.
However, as particular as you must be with your time, make sure that every single person you encounter can say that they’ve experienced pure, unconditional love and acceptance. If you love without expectation, you will never be hurt or disappointed.
Live wholly and apologetically as yourself. You do you, boo boo! Don’t listen to society. Do not for a second conform. Your mind is beautiful and different so embrace it.
Above all else baby girl, focus on your value, not your success.” -Lisa, 25 (Some content omitted for length purposes.)

“Work hard and find goals to work towards. Stay motivated.” -Kurtis, 21

“Don’t care so much, and those boys are seriously not worth your time, FYI.” -Krysten, 23

“Never settle. Be more confident in yourself. NEVER ignore red flags. Trust your gut. Travel more. Save money, you never know what surprises life will throw you. Realize sooner that you are a badass woman and can handle anything life hands you!” -Ally, 30

“Never let others belittle you.” -Molly, 16

“I wish I wasn’t afraid to make my own decisions on things. I let my husband make decisions whether I agreed or not. This was hard to admit, but it was a mistake on my part.” -Ellie, 78

“Don’t be insecure, everybody has doubts.
Enjoy even the poor times of your life. Those are great memories you will enjoy remembering.
Participate in every 401k plan you can.
Don’t ring up debt. Money is more fun if you spend it as you earn it instead of before you earn it.” -Sharon, 52

“Go to bed earlier.” -August, 57

“Don’t look at others and think they have the perfect life. Everyone faces their own challenges. They only show the good things to the rest of the world (on social media). People don’t always share their struggles. (Aka, the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence.) -Trisha, 47

“Don’t be scared to do new things. I get anxious of the unknown and wish I enjoyed myself more.” -Chase, 28

“Spend more time appreciating what you have instead of wishing you had more. And look for your purpose in your current situation instead of a way out of it. It’s usually easier going through it than it is getting out of it.” -Mike, 43.

“1. Don’t pay so much attention to what other people are doing and focus on yourself.
2. Don’t miss out on experiences that could be fun because you’re scared.
3. On that note, learn how to say no.
4. Take time to figure out what you love.
5. Learn to take care of yourself.
6. That boy? The one that doesn’t call back and only texts you late at night? He’s not worth any of it. Know your own worth well enough to say no.
7. Talk to your family. 
8. You’ll meet some of the best people in the world during this time: wonderful amazing loving people that will become your best friends.
9. On that note, you’ll meet some pretty awful people too. Keep your head up, and if someone is toxic, cut them out.
10. Relationships are hard. Sometimes things don’t work out for whatever reason and you’re stuck picking up the pieces alone. Remember that healing isn’t a linear process and these things take time. Don’t harden your heart just because you feel sad.
You’re only 22, you don’t have to have it all figured out now.” -Tessa, 22 (Some content omitted for length purposes.)

“Watch the people you keep around because they’re the ones you’re giving the ability to do you wrong.” -August, 19

“Follow your dreams and don’t worry about making other people happy. Do your own thing.” -Erika, 23

Initially, I was going to omit the advice I would give to myself, but a friend suggested I include it. So, here we go.

What would I say if I could go back and tell my younger self something? Where do I even begin? 

“Life is shitty sometimes, and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. Instead of dwelling on everything that’s going wrong, focus instead on the blessings in your life. Find things that bring you joy, no matter how small they might be, and DO those things. Do them always. In this long and complicated life we live, there are few things that matter more than the simple pleasures. 

Find people that you love and who love you back and never let them go. Ever. Having people in your life who truly care about you is such an amazing feeling and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. When they need you, be there for them and they will be there for you in return when you need them. If you ever fall down and become broken, these people will be your crutch until you learn to walk on your own again.

Maintain the realization that people who mean a lot to you are worth you swallowing your pride sometimes.  Think to yourself: Is this little argument worth this friendship? Usually the answer is no. Apologize even if you’re not wrong–the relief that accompanies the end of a conflict is well worth it. Recognize that most people are worth more than your need to be right, but also be mindful of the ones that aren’t. 

Work your ass off. No one gets anywhere without true effort on their part. If you want to achieve your dreams of living in big cities and traveling the world, you’re going to have to put in 110%. But, it’ll all be worth it when you look back and see how far you’ve come. Make your parents proud. Make your friends proud. Most importantly though, make yourself proud of who you’ve become.

And lastly, love yourself, damnit. Always take care of you.” -Anna, 22

xx – A

 

Valentine’s Day

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Honestly, I feel like this is such a much needed topic to cover. Valentine’s Day is one of those pointless holidays that Hallmark created to sell cards, we all know it. Whatever, they need to make money. The thing I hate about it though, is the expectations. The same goes to EVERY Hallmark holiday, especially New Year’s. There’s this relatively non-important holiday, and with society’s expectations on that holiday, you feel pressured to adhere to some standard of activities on that particular day.

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(Now, my dad did send me some beautiful flowers for Valentine’s Day and I appreciated those SO MUCH. They actually kind of made my day, but that’s not the point of this rant.)

On New Year’s, if you’re not out celebrating with a lot of friends with the perfect date for a New Year’s Kiss, then you’re not doing it right. (Apparently.) So if you don’t have plans to do that, you either feel extreme anxiety in trying to make those plans, or you just feel down because you don’t have a way of doing that at all. I hate that! I hate the societal standard that you have to celebrate this particular holiday and if you don’t, you just feel bummed out. It’s not fair. It’s frustrating.

The same goes for Valentine’s Day. If you’re not out going to a fancy dinner with your significant other and if they don’t give you fancy gifts and if you don’t take cute pictures to post everywhere, then you’re not doing it right. That irritates me SO MUCH. Valentine’s Day just makes you feel crappy if you’re not doing any of those things, and it’s just not fair.

These holidays, along with SO MANY MORE, are primarily celebrated so that products promoting them can be sold. They’re for cooperations to make money off of, and just because there’s nothing I can do about that does not mean I have to actively celebrate them in the way they’re “supposed” to be celebrated. I do what I want on those holidays and just because a random Wednesday happens to be some ridiculous holiday does not mean I’m going to spend a bunch of money on stuff no one needs and stress about plans that are not necessary. And if you’re someone who celebrates these holidays, cool! I celebrate them in their correct way sometimes, but other times I just don’t want that pressure. It’s not fair.

Yeah so I’m not sure if this blog even entirely makes sense but I needed to vent a little. I hope this isn’t too terribly pointless and that you got something out of this.

xx -A

Today

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Well, today’s blog is probably going to be pretty short and not particularly exciting, but I shall blog it anyways. I’m in a pretty good mood. I spent today actively avoiding leaving my apartment–partly because it was 40º this morning and partly because I just wanted to stay in and watch TV and work on job stuff and catch up on emails and whatnot.

Last week, I had an in-person interview on Tuesday, and that same afternoon, I went through a phone screen interview. I was told by the woman interviewing me over the phone that I would hear from her on Monday morning (aka today) if I make it to the next stage of interviews: in-person interviews. I was pleased to receive a call from her this morning asking if I was available to come in for an in-person interview Tuesday morning. (Obviously, I said yes.) I also received an email from someone at a different company that I had applied to asking if I was available for a phone interview on Tuesday as well. (More good news!) So of course, I’m very excited about making ACTUAL progress in my ongoing job hunt tomorrow.

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My goal was to spend the whole day without leaving at all, but I was notified by my complex of a shipment arriving for me at the office. (I wasn’t expecting anything, though.) Much to my surprise (and delight!), my new coffee table I had ordered on Amazon arrived two days early! Despite the fact that I had to haul it from the office to my apartment because it wasn’t delivered to my door like my furniture usually is, I was very excited! After opening it all up, I realized it would be slightly more complicated to put together than I anticipated, but after a few minutes I figured it out and got to work. Check it out! I love it!

So yeah, today’s blog is primarily about me wanting to talk about the things that are going well for me today. That may or may not be interesting for people, but I don’t know, sometimes it’s nice to just actually take a step back and think about how good I’ve got it. I live a pretty good life, and sure I’m allowed to have my bad days, but ultimately I live a good life. I have people who care about me, I have opportunities (hopefully) coming my way, and I live in a cute apartment and have a cute and cuddly kitty. It’s not a bad life to live.

xx – A

Girl’s Weekend

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I’m sure I’m not the only one who has those weeks where NOTHING seems to go right, right? That’s how this past week was for me. It was rough, and I was miserable for them majority of it. I just felt like I was getting bad news after bad news and even if something good happened, it felt like the bad stuff overshadowed it.

On Friday, my mom drove up to San Antonio (which gave me some much needed mother-daughter time). Her primary reason for going up was to visit my grandparents (her dad and step-mom) since my grandpa’s health isn’t the greatest right now. I went with her to visit them and we had a really nice time talking and hanging out for a few hours. I forgot about the week’s sadness, but it got worse again on Friday evening when I realized the weekend had arrived and I basically had no plans. My mom had only gone up to SA for the day, so once she left it hit me–all of my friends in town (San Antonio) were busy or going out of town for the weekend. I would basically be spending the weekend alone, and that was not something I could handle emotionally.

I was talking to one of my best friends who lives in Dallas all day on Friday and I was talking about how down I felt. She suggested going up to visit her for the weekend for a girl’s weekend. So I decided to just do it. I wasn’t able to leave San Antonio until 9:30 p.m., so I didn’t arrive in Dallas until around 1:30 a.m. That didn’t matter though. My best friend and I got to hang out and catch up for a few hours and so far, the rest of the weekend has been exactly what I needed. I talked through some of the things I was frustrated about with her and it calmed me down a lot. She talked down my anxiety levels and convinced me to not worry and stress so much. I needed someone to ground me and she did it perfectly. We spent the weekend having fun and just catching up, since I hadn’t been up to visit in about a year.

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We went out on Saturday (because that’s what 22-year-olds do) and we had an absolute BLAST. I hadn’t had that much fun going out in a long time (despite the fact that we went home early). Both of us looked at each other around midnight and we realized we were ready to go home, so we got pizza, and went back to her apartment to watch some tv. We were in bed by 2 a.m., and if that’s not actual life goals, then I don’t know what is. (I love to have fun, but I really love to sleep). Since we were spending quality time together and were having so much fun, I took almost zero pictures from that night, but here’s a little shot from that night before we left her apartment.

Now that it’s Sunday, and the stresses from this past week are behind me now, I feel so much better about everything. I’m still stressing about not having a job yet, but I’m doing all I can to make that happen. This “Girl’s Weekend” has reminded me that I need to just step back from all the things that are driving me crazy every once in a while and just enjoy the little things, like quality time with a life-long friend. It’s amazing how therapeudic getting away from everything that’s stressing you out for a bit can be.

I had actually just sat down to job hunt some more, when my best friend suggested blogging about this weekend. I wasn’t sure what to write, but I figured it’d come to me as I wrote. (Spoiler alert: it totally did.) So yeah, friendly reminder to anyone who happens to read this: don’t underestimate the power of good company and a good time to help you get over all the stuff that’s driving you crazy and bringing you down.

xx -A