Apparently I have a wild life. (Or so my friends tell me.) But not like “wild party life,” more like “oh wow out of all people, that WOULD happen to Anna” kind of life.
I’m not even sure what kind of examples to give to support this, but random, weird shit always seems to happen to me. (Both minor and major.) Most recently though, I had some major crazy shit happen to me. In order to fully immerse you in the joke that is my life though, I have to start from the beginning.
Yesterday, I got off work and headed straight to my apartment complex. I had a package to pick up before the office closed. After that, I immediately went home, changed clothes, and went for a run. I hadn’t been able to go in a week, so I was really missing it. After my fantastic run, I finished assembling a super cool hanging chair for my balcony (because ya know this gurl loves spending time outside).
After all of that, I was POOPED, so I kicked back in my new chair with a poetry book and started to relax………until the sun went down and the mosquitoes came out.
Then I realized one very important detail for this story–I was FAMISHED.
I didn’t have the energy to cook, so I clicked on Whose Line Is It Anyways (a recent favorite), and popped some chicken nuggets into the microwave. 5 nuggets later, I was still pretty hungry. What was I thinking only making myself 5 nuggs?
So, I popped 5 more into the microwave. “That outta do it,” I thought to myself.
Oh it did it alright. After I opened the microwave door, the ENTIRE. FUCKING. MICROWAVE. FELL. OFF. THE. WALL.
Yes. You read that completely right. My microwave actually fell out of the wall. Very loudly, if I might add.
Somehow, I didn’t scream in surprise, I just backed up a step and I shit you not, I stood there staring at this mess for at least 5 minutes. Maybe more. Who knows?!
How do microwaves just fall out of the wall?!
My next thought after the initial shock wore off was “my nuggs!” So naturally, I had to save the nuggs. I lifted up the microwave (which was still barely attached to the wall with one screw) and somehow managed to get my ~slightly squished~ chicken nuggets out from under/inside the microwave. Then I set the microwave down again on its new home directly on top of my stove. Facing down.
I didn’t even think to call / tell anyone until about 30 minutes later after I had eaten my nuggs and done the dishes and sat down to watch some TV.
So yeah. That happened. I think it’s going to get fixed today (hopefully), so that’s cool. But like my microwave literally fell out of the wall. Like what.
Oh, and the best part: it stayed on throughout this whole ordeal. So despite the fact that my microwave essentially suicide dove out of the wall, it is quite literally hanging onto life by a thread.